Very interesting

"It definitely wasn't what I expected. I liked the idea of the murder investigation and of the "Order" that seems to be so corrupt. Your writing was evocative and enjoyable. However, I didn't quite understand exactly what place the Order had in society. Why are they shut out from the rest of the world? Why can't anyone come in? Also, when Gali broke in I actually thought that it was a flashback rather than something that was happening currently. I think that I was confused because it was just a little too rushed. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest!"