Ancient Wisdom for Modern Ears

"This is a wonderful little allegorical tale, which suggests the wisdom literature of ages past, whether folktales or stories like the one that Pardoner tells in The Canterbury Tales. It has the exact rhythm and pace of this kind of literature as well, sounding like it's existed for hundreds of years, and of course the setting and props suggest an earlier time as well (though not rooted in any one specific time). The moral is great, and a very timely one for this age as well. I can imagine this being an episode in a larger narrative, either the very beginning of a book, or an episode that the main character remembers from his childhood. It's very fluent and interesting, though my only criticism would be that it perhaps sounds too much like its sources. I might try to play with the tone and the characters a little, and make it sound less like a complete re-told folktale than something that sounds modern, but when you think about it, you realize "ah, this is part of a much older tradition." I think this story has more life in it and will become part of something larger, or even the seed of another work entirely. Very nice offering all the same!"