prologue
I never wanted this in the first place, I never wanted to marry you. But what has changed my heart so much that I even risked my career just for you? I was never bound to love you. I became a liar because of these feelings. I’ve hurt myself because of this stupid love. No one knew, they didn’t know my pain and worries these past few years. They don’t know anything about the hardship I went through, so that I can protect your image as well as mine.
I know you’re not mine, but I’m still here for you, waiting to let me call you mine. I do sound desperate at times, but what can I say, everybody would practically fall for the golden maknae.
The secrets that I keep are hard to contain, especially when you have crazy members... those members whom wanted to comfort you whenever you cried, but couldn’t cause you wouldn’t tell them what’s wrong. You fake a smile feeling guilty for not telling them that in fact that you are actually married. It was funny when they thought the reason for your tears were form because you wanted to have a boyfriend.
For all these years, you wanted to hold on even when you were bound to let go. You love him even though he kept pushing you away, despite those you’re still here hanging on, because for you his worth the love, the fight and the pain. For you his worth it.
