Chapter 1
I have never been a “good girl”. I was good at heart but not in society’s eyes.
My dad said that I had the heart of a warrior, my mom believed that my spirit animal was a dragon.
I just wanted to express myself and have someone to look up to. I dreamed of adventure and soaring high.
Unfortunately reality is a bitch, I got called names and beaten cause I wasn’t girly enough .
Teachers weren’t any help, and I was labeled a troublemaker.
I learnt to bottle my emotions and be normal. Inside, I was roaring and crying.
Why couldn’t I be able to love adventure and being passionate? Why did I need to be quiet and docile?
I didn’t get an answer and never have.
I’ve met other girls like me who are fierce and independent. I’ve met many people who have been kicked out because of their “problems”.
The worst part is seeing our abusers preaching about acceptance and tolerance. It makes me sad and angry. I just want to rage against them but violence doesn’t fix this issue.
Secondly, I had to learn how to forgive. Not them yet, but myself. I didn’t understand until then, forgiveness is hard.
It’s much easier to get angry and curse day and night, but excruciating to move past it.
I think in a way forgiving is learning to move on. Sort of my anger and hatred not controlling me to my grave.
It’s a struggle. Heaven knows that I am a stubborn person and can carry a grudge. But there’s a difference between a grudge and a legitimate reason for being angry at someone.
I am rambling on, but my point is I had to go past my self hatred. Otherwise I would be a sullen brat hating everyone and myself.
Maybe someday I won’t be as angry with people who have hurt me.
Thirdly is passion. The thing that inspires you. Mine is music. I just can’t help but want to create while I’m listening to music.
A passion can be really simple or really complex but it’s yours. A passion can be a good thing and a bad thing. Either way it’s part of what drives you.
