Chapter 1
Hey everyone!! Welcome to my story! I will warn you. Major trigger warning for anyone who is sensitive with touchy subjects. Thanks for reading~! - Nyoom.
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I did it. Mom I did it. I’m running so fast mom, I did it.
I stopped at a small apartment and buzzed the bell.
“HEY NARI!!”
“Hey .” I said as passed the ahjumma and sat on the couch, out of breath.
“Are you okay?!??! Why did you move so suddenly?!? Something happen??”
“No. I’m okay.”
“Well okay.” She said and shrugged.
I walked away and threw my stuff in my home. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, locking it.
Yes, you all obviously know what is about to happen.
The stereotypical depressed girl who runs away from an abusive parent so she can run to the bathroom to harm herself, as if she wasn’t already hurt enough.
But hey, I was a dumb kid, what do you expect?
So indeed, I took out the blade I keep with me in my bag.
I started to cut a deep gash in my arm.
It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.
That kinda sucks, what’s gonna distract me now.
Oh well.
It’s too late to ask for help now, isn’t it?
If not...
Someone help me, I think I’ve gone insane.
Mom please save me, I think I’ve gone insane.
Mom, are you watching me mom? Mom, I’m sorry, but I’ve gone insane.
Mom please help me, I’ve definitely gone insane.
Mom, I’m sorry you have to see your daughter in so much pain. But you left me. You left me alone with that pitiful man I’m supposed to call my father.
I’m sorry mom. I’m blaming you for my daddy issues again, mom I’m sorry.
It doesn’t matter anymore though, he’s gone.
Mom he ran away faster than I did.
Mom, I love you. Goodnight.
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Good morning mom. Today I have school. Please help me make it through my first day. Please don’t make my first day hell.
Walking out of my room after getting ready, I grabbed my stuff, and headed to school.
The school wasn’t really that big.
No, there weren’t stairs that led to a roof I could possibly throw myself off of.
Instead it was just one big square with a lot of hallways.
I headed to the counselors office to get a quick little tour of where I’m supposed to be going because I didn’t have any clue. The counselor led me around and took me to my first hour. I was then taken and seated anywhere I’d like until we had real assigned seats.
I sat in the front, right by the door. I waited patiently as the teacher finished explaining the assignment she had given the rest of the class. Occasionally, I felt the glances of other students as I pulled on the sleeves of my sweater. I looked toward the door until finally, the teacher walked over to me and gave me a sweet, but fake smile.
“What were you learning about before coming to this school?” She asked.
“Um..I was gonna go in to trigonometry or pre-calc, but I left.” I replied.
“Okay, well we are still focused on Algebra II so can you manage to work with us for the rest of the week until we move on?”
“Yeah, of course.” I curved my lips up just enough to show a very small smile.
“Okay, thank you. Alright class, that’s all for now! Put your books away and you may talk quietly for the rest of these next 2 or 3 minutes.”
“Yes Mrs.” Everyone else replied.
As all the students began to speak to each other, I just watched the clock, waiting for class to end.
I looked around the classroom but nobody seemed that interesting. I tried to find someone or rather something interesting but it was all the same. All the same boring people. Talking about the same boring thing, with the same boring lives. I’m not saying mine is any different, because it isn’t. That’s what makes everyone else’s life so boring.
Finally, the bell rang releasing the students to their next class.
The same thing repeated for second hour.
Again with third.
And fourth.
And Fifth.
Now it’s lunch.
I went to lunch, but I wasn’t that hungry. I still ate, of course, just not as much.
I walked up to a table full of boys.
“Hey, is it okay if I sit at the other end of this table?” I asked, all their eyes on me.
“Yeah. We don’t care.” One boy said and then they continued to laugh and eat.
I sat at the other ending, quietly eating. I then heard a very shushed conversation. I felt the eyes.
The boys. They were talking about me. Of course they were, it was so obvious. I then made eye contact with one.
“What?” I asked.
The guys just looked at each other and shook their heads rapidly.
I rolled my eyes, stood up, and threw my lunch away. Well, whatever I didn’t eat.
I walked out of the lunchroom and to the bathroom. Walking into the bathroom, it was very loud. But, once I entered, everyone went quiet and stared at me.
I, again, rolled my eyes and walked out.
The bell rang and I made it through 6th and 7th hour.
And then I walked home.
I took a shower and noticed the older scars on my wrist were fading, but the new ones were a bright red.
I ran my fingers over the scars, my skin was burning.
My vision was blurry. My ears were ringing.
Ha...I really am insane.
I grabbed the blade above the ledge in the shower and allowed the blood to run into the shower drain.
1
2
3
4
I counted as I penetrated deep into my burning flesh.
I really needed to stop.
But I was dumb and couldn’t stop.
Why couldn’t I stop?
5
Stop.
6
Stop.
7
Stop!
8
STOP IT!
I might’ve gone too far.
I watched as the amounts of blood grew, and poured out of my arms.
I grunted loudly in pain. What have I done? There’s so much blood. What have I done? What have I done?
I couldn’t feel much in my arms anymore so I put the blade away and stopped the shower. I got out, got ready for bed....and I went to sleep.
I woke up in the morning and I felt very dizzy.
I walked to school and made it through the day, kind of.
On the verge of passing out, I went home.
I shouldn’t have tried to walk home.
I remember hearing someone panicking or speaking to me.
I was then lifted up...
Then black, or maybe static?
