A Promising Review

"This story hooked me instantly. Right away, I knew that I had to find out what would happen to Charlotte. The action--especially at the beginning--is jarring and powerful. After that, the story does a good job of slowly introducing more of the secondary characters, all while staying focused on Charlotte's broken feelings. My big issue with the story so far is that there are many problems with grammar. The sentences go from past tense to present tense over and over. These little mistakes distracted me from an otherwise powerful beginning to the story."