Chapter 1
"Just! Freekin! Jump! Captain!" the Sergeant Major shouted over the incredible roar of the jet's engines, and the tornado of wind coming in through the open back door. Easy for him, he wasn't going anywhere, but I was. 20,000 ft down. Very effing fast. And I'd never ever 'abseiled' off a mountain, let alone free-fall parachuted before. I was even scared on the climbing wall in the gym at High School, and that was only four years ago.
I looked out the back of the huge plane doors, C-17, they called it, and saw the ground far below. Far below, so far it made my head spin. I totally froze. It had taken all my courage and 'front' to get this far, dressed in ill-fitting equipment, none of which was made for a female my size, get on the plane, and pretend like it was all 'nothing'. Like I was who everyone thought I was. That first day of high school all over again. But standing in that freezing, deafening place all alone, with the wind gusting in the door and the smell of fuel, and who knows what, I had reached my limits. I simply couldn't 'fake it' anymore. Not one single step, not one single flash of defence was left in me. I had failed. I looked in the Sergeants eyes and he knew he had won, and I had lost. I was going home in disgrace. After an impressive start, I was ending up just another "wash-out". He smiled shook his head in disgust and triumph in equal measure. He turned his head down to to talk into the radio 'mic' to tell the pilot to abort the mission, but just before he spoke to the pilot, he looked at me smugly shouting "I knew you weren't up to being with the Special Forces, I could tell.,,".
I think he probably said "just by looking at you", although I'll never know for sure. Because before he even got those familiar words out, I had swan-dived into the abyss, and I was falling at 200 miles per hour towards the earth. Dressed in the most advanced combat gear available. A machine gun that seemed to weigh more than me strapped to my back, and silently screaming.
