Bound by Fate

“Who are you?” I whisper to the man holding me. I am not afraid of him even though he is a lot larger than me. His long legs brush against mine, causing my dress to rustle. The white light of the full moon falls down on his dark hair, casting a snow white glow over him. My breath catches as he cups my cheek in his large, calloused hand. The pad of his thumb runs across my cheek bone. On his pinkie finger a red string was knotted. The length of it travels down and disappears into our clothes. I know where the string ends. I can feel it tied onto to my pinkie, the material soft and yet strong on my skin.

This binds us. It’s unbreakable and pulls us towards each other.

“We’re running out of time...” he whispers. We know what will happen in mere moments and know just how powerless we are to stop it.

“Please,” I press my forehead to his. “Who are you, help me find you...”

“And ruin our fun?” his lips quirk in a smile.

“Then let me give you my name...” I plead desperately. I need him. Why doesn’t he understand that?

He touches a finger to my lips, silencing them. He looks at me, his dark emerald green eyes taking on a tender gleam.

“I wish-“ he stops suddenly.

“Wish what?” I look down, as I always have done, and although I shouldn’t be surprised by the red stain blooming from his chest, I scream out.

“NO!” I clutch him tightly as he falls forward onto my chest. I can feel the warm of his blood seep into my dress. We sink to the floor. I’m on my knees, pressing his head against my collarbone.

“No, no, no, no...”I whisper. Tears turn him blurry as I look down on him. His final breath wafts gently on my neck. Why must it be him? Why must he always die?

I woke up with tears running down my face. I’d been having dreams like this since I was thirteen. Each year they grew more and more clear. The guy in my dream, I’d never seen him before but I knew him. I knew him as well as I knew myself. I knew we were connected. Bound.

I wiped my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt. I hated the dreams and how they made me feel. I knew I was going to have a headache the next morning. I wished for the billionth time that I knew who he was and why he was so important to me. I thought that if I knew who he was that maybe the dreams would stop.

I scrunched up into a ball. A position that allowed me some level of comfort after the nightmares had left their marks. I closed my eyes and prayed that I would drift into a blank, if not restful sleep.

“I wish...” I whispered as I fell asleep.

I was right. I did wake up with a headache. I tried to focus on my cornflakes, but honestly just the very thought of food was enough to make my stomach rebel against me. I pushed away the bowl. My parents shared a look before turning their worried gazes to me.

“Violet?” My mom asked gently. “Are you ok, sweetie?”

I looked up at her and winced as a bolt of pain pierced my skull. I had to take a couple of breathes before the reverberating ache dulled. If I could ever wish for something it would be not to cry. Or at least not cry that much. Maybe if I wished the dream away, I wouldn’t get these stupid headaches. However, if I wished the dreams away then would he disappear as well? I wasn’t sure if I wanted that.

“Vi?” my mom repeated. Her golden brows furrowed in concern, and her painted red lips were downturned.

My mom was a beautiful woman. On both the outside and the inside. She had long straight blond hair that went down to her waist. Her sky blue eyes often revealed more of her thoughts then she would have liked. It was something we shared in common, except for the fact that my eyes were blue with a violet tinge. Hence, my name.

She was petite but held herself regally, so she appeared taller than she actually was. What I could never figure out was just how she managed not only to find the time to do make-up and hair, but to do them flawlessly. I, on the other hand, was known for slapping on some eyeliner, a touch of mascara and calling it a day.

“Yes, mom,” I tried to give her a weak smile, but I didn’t think she found it convincing, “I’m fine. Just a small headache.”

“Sure, Vi?” This time the question came from my Dad. He was tall, like me, and I also took after him in the looks department. We both had chestnut brown hair that held a thick, soft wave. The only difference was that he wore his in a short no nonsense cut, while I let mine fall to my mid back.

“I’m sure Dad.” I made a point of looking around the table, even though the activity made my head spin viciously. “Where’s Poppy?”

Poppy was my sister. She was younger by two years and a spunky little thing. People wouldn’t believe we were related were it not for our smiles. Poppy somehow managed to look like the perfect mix of our parents. She had mom’s long hair and dad’s hazel eyes. Like me however, she often found little time to play with makeup. My dad was quite content about that. He felt that fifteen was too young for Poppy to wear full make up. Heck, he felt the same way about me and I was seventeen.

“She’s still in bed.” He said, “I’ve already tried several times to shake her awake, but the girl sleeps like the dead.”

“She’s a teenager, honey,” my mom said as she poured herself some coffee. “I’m sure you were just as bad when you were one.”

“Never!” he countered.

“Mmmhmm.” She replied. Her eyebrow quirked upwards, showing her unbelief. He stood and went to her.

“It’s true.” He kissed her temple. “Scouts honour!”

“That only works if you were one!” she laughed and gave him a light pat on the shoulder.

A sharp pang of longing went through me. I idolised their relationship. I’m not saying it was perfect, they certainly knew how to fight, but they stuck it out and always made up. That was the sort of love I wanted to believe I would have.

However, the way my love life had been going made me think that I would be better to lower my expectations. At seventeen, I still hadn’t had my first kiss yet although I had been on a couple of decent dates. The guys who’d I’d gone on these dates with had all been nice, charming even, but I couldn’t bring myself to call back or plan a second date with any of them, because of... him. The guy from my dream.

I swirled my water in its glass. Would this be the rest of my life? Dreaming of some mystery man? Watching him die over and over again? Having my heart break forever? It wasn’t a prospect that I looked forward too.

“Is it because of school?” mom’s smooth voice shattered my inner pity party.

“Pardon?”

“Is your headache because of school?”

My face must have shown her my confusion. She sighed and sat down.

“You’re very worried about starting at this new school and that’s what has given you this headache,” she elaborated, “Am I right?”

“Uh... yes?” I hadn’t told her about the dreams. They were too personal.

“Honey,” she took my hand and gently squeezed it. “You don’t need to be worried. We’ve checked it out. The facilities are immaculate, the classes are well above average, the principle seems very nice, and they even loads of clubs for you to enter!”

I knew she was trying to cheer me up. I had been very resistant to the idea of the move. My mother had recently been promoted, but with the promotion came a transfer to the other side of the world. Well, that’s what it felt like, at least. I wasn’t miss popular at my old school, but I did have a couple of good friends that I had known since kindergarten. The thought of having to start all over again was unappealing to say the least. I just knew my shyness would tangle my tongue and I would say something I would regret, or worse, say nothing at all.

“I know it will take some time to get used to it, but you’ll try right?” She asked, her voice was slightly tight with worry that I might say no. She was desperate to prove that she deserved the promotion. I couldn’t ruin that for her.

“I’ll try, mom.” I promised.

“Thank you, baby, I appreciate it.” She came up to me and kissed my cheek.

“Mom!” I wiped my cheek. The last thing I wanted to do was show up at a new school with a bright red lipstick stain on my cheek. In my opinion, it would not be the best way to show off how cool I was.

She laughed off my concern and took her mug to the sink. I watched her with a smile on my face. She really did try the best for us. Shouldn’t I do the same for her?

“It’s not even ten and mom has already started on the over cuddling?” my sister’s sleep-laden voice brought our attention to her as she entered the kitchen.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Mom greeted to which Poppy responded in a very unladylike grunt.

“Morning,” I smiled at her. She had dark circles under her eyes, which went she had probably been up late reading one of her many comics. She was a complete DC and Marvel junkie.

“Morning. What time is it?” she asked as she sipped from the glass of orange juice mom had poured and placed in front of her.

“About quarter to,” Dad informed us as he returned to the kitchen. He had on a suit and was going through some papers. I recalled him saying that he was going job hunting. He quit his last job to move when mom got the promotion. It amazed me that he loved mom so much as to give up his job so she could pursue her dreams. It was that kind of love they shared.

“So, you both better get ready quick, being late on your first day is not the way you want to leave an impression.” He continued.

Both my sister and I groaned, even though we knew the wisdom behind the words. We hurried through breakfast and sooner than I could sing the jingle for MacDonald’s we were on the road.

In the car, I looked out at our new town. It was like any other town, except somehow it felt more like home than the place I was born and grew up in. The houses stood in neat, uniform lines on each side of street. They reminded me of trays of pastries in the display case of a bakery; uniquely beautiful, but placed in a specific pattern. People like patterns. It makes us feel safe when we can recognize something and know what comes after it.

Yet, the pattern of my dreams gave me no safety or comfort. It left me sorrowful and empty every time. I shook my head and turned my attention back to our journey. I’ve always liked to think of myself as practical and self pity parties are not practical.

I needed to focus. A new school, that meant new people, new culture, new norms, and although everyone likes to deny it, new cliques. I worried my bottom lip between my lips. I’d never really fit in with the cliques at my old school. I managed to drift and make it seem like I was part of it all, but I never really felt like I belonged in any particular group.

My dad said the problem was I was cause without a rebel, to which I succinctly replied by pulling my tongue. Obviously, I am a master at witty comebacks.

However, the truth was that I did get along with most people, but I didn’t want to be put in a box. I’ve never liked people telling me what or who I am. Maybe that makes me a rebel, but I am not out to stick it to the man. So, the question was where did that leave me? As the girl with too much personality or as the girl with no identity?

“Earth to Violet,” Dad said covering his mouth and made his voice sound like it was coming from a radio, “This is the Dad station! Please report!”

“It’s no use, sir!” Poppy added in mock panic, “She’s gone!”

“No! Not another one!” He choked out, “Damn you, space!”

“Ha Ha.” I rolled my eyes, “and the Oscars go to Harold Mathers and his daughter, Poppy!”

“Oh! What a surprise!” he said, “I would like to thank my daughter, Poppy, for being a good sport, and my other daughter, Violet, who made this all possible by day dreaming and failing notice that we’re at the school.”

“What?!” I looked out the window. Holy crap! How did we get to it so fast?

I took note of my new school. This was where I would be until I graduated. I viewed this place as a battleground which I had to learn to navigate to survive. As I examined the high, red brick walls of the main building, the mix and match of students and teachers bustling into the school.

I glanced at my little sister. She appeared to be even more contemplative and scared than I was. I smiled. At least we had each other.

“Come on,” I climbed out the car, “We better face the fact that this is our future from now.”

“Ugh,” she followed me out. “Can we not and say that we did?”

“Nope.” Dad stepped out to hug us both. “Be good, stay safe, and know that I love you both.”

“Dad!” I blushed, but grinned, “We will. Love you too.”

We waved him and headed into the school. It was obvious that some people took notice of us, but a lot more just went on their usual business. That was fine by me. I would choose invisibility over embarrassing first impression every time!

As we approached the entrance, two kids about our ages came up to us. A girl of average height with dark brown hair and a wide smile stepped forward first. She somehow managed to make her chocolate brown eyes sparkle with joy, like we were long lost friends. With her was another girl, who seemed a bit younger. Maybe Poppy’s age. She had bushy ginger hair tied back in a pony tail and wore a shy grin. In her arms, she carried a conspicuously large pile of papers.

“Hey!” the first girl greeted. “You must be the Mathers, right? I’m Kelly and this is Drina. We’re here to officially welcome and help you acclimatise to the school. Now, I have here your schedules, school calendars, rules and guides, and maps.”

“I... Yeah we are!” I had to give myself a minute to recover from Kelly’s break neck speed of speech.

“Great! Now,” she nearly dazzled me with the brightness of her smile. I resisted the urged to squint. “Which of you is Violet?”

I held my hand up and Drina hurried forward to hand me one of the stacks of papers and then went to Poppy.

“Drina will take Poppy to her first class and I’ll take you to yours!” Kelly said excitedly.

Poppy and I shared a concerned look.

“I’m sure that’s not neces-“ I started to say but Kelly cut me off with a wave of dismissal.

“Nonsense! We’re part of the Welcome Committee!” She gave a tinkling laughter. It sounded exactly like one of those cartoon fairies laughs. I didn’t know that that was a real thing.

“This is what we do!” She linked her arm through mine, “Don’t worry! You two are in good hands. Drina, you and Poppy go ahead!”

“Um, Vi...” my sister hesitated and looked to me with wide eyes. She wanted to know if she should go. I understood her feelings. In a big school, being new was scary, but if you had someone then it wasn’t quite as bad. However, I also knew that we would eventually have to split up. At least with Drina helping, she wasn’t likely to get lost. I gave her a fond smile.

“It’s alright, we’ll catch up later!” I promise her. She nodded and followed Drina. I turned my attention back to Kelly.

“Alright! So, you’re first class is Maths.” She told me cheerily, “Now, if you’ll just follow me!”

“Actually,” A soft voice sounded from behind me, “That’s my first class too! I can show her, Kelly.”

I turned to face the owner of the voice. She was a pretty girl with wide, almond shaped eyes brought together the rest of her face in a pleasing way. The dark amber shade of her eyes was somehow warm and cosy. She had deep auburn hair which served to bring out her fair complexion. She gave me a shy and nervous smile, I smiled back.

“That’s a nice offer, Esti, but I think that as the Chairperson of the committee, it should be me.”

Esti face fell and she shot me an apologetic look. That combined with the shocked look that Kelly had given her when she first offered made me think that Esti wasn’t usually one to do that sort of thing. I had to admit, it made me like her.

“Actually Kelly, I’d like to go with Esti.” I said, surprising everyone, including myself. I wasn’t the kind of person who could easily stand up for myself.

“You would?” Kelly blinked fast as if she trying to decide if she’d heard me correctly.

“Yeah, she’s part of the class so she’ll be able to tell me more about it anyway.” I smiled at Esti who returned it with a grateful, if somewhat surprised smile.

“Oh. Um. Ok then...” Kelly said dazedly. “Well, if you’re sure...”

I gave a firm nod and she simply shook her head and sighed softly.

“Alright,” she started to turn away, “You can come to me if you have questions.”

“Thanks Kelly.”

Esti and I waited until she was well on her way before we started talking.

“Hope I didn’t intrude.” She said to me, “You just had a bit of a deer-in-the-headlights look when you were talking to her.”

“She’s...” I searched for the right word.

“Intense?” Esti offered with a knowing smile, “She’s not a bad person just very... erm... goal orientated. I’m Esti, by the way, but you can call me Essie.”

“Well, Essie, thanks for the save, I know she meant well, but I was getting whiplash trying to keep up with her.” I grinned, “I’m Violet, but feel free to call me Vi.”

“Well, let me show you to our first class. I wasn’t lying, by the way, we do actually have Maths together.” Essie giggled impishly. “When I overheard Kelly mention that was your first class, I saw an opportunity and I don’t know, just took it. I guess it was destiny for us to meet.”

I paused at her choice of words. Destiny... Fate... it brought to my mind my dream. I wondered if the guy was somehow part of my life or at least, would be part of it. I couldn’t help but look down at my hand. Even though I knew nothing was there, I couldn’t help but imagine a red string there, stretching out into the distance.

A light touch on my elbow brought my attention back to the now. Essie’s eyes rounded with concern and her brow furrowed. I offered her a smile.

“Are you alright?” She asked gently.

“Yeah, sorry,” I apologized and she nodded in acceptance. “Alright. Better show me to class, I’m trying to avoid sticking out like a sore thumb!”

Essie laughed and we made our way. As we walked, Essie explained the school; she even helped me find my locker. She detailed the way all the systems work, how the teachers behaved and what to do in case of pop quizzes. We laughed about cliques and decided we’d start our own.

I really liked Essie. She was quiet, but had a wicked sense of humour just simmering beneath the surface. I had to admit that I was pretty pleased at finding someone, who I thought might have great potential to be a friend.

It was after class that we had to go our separate ways, but she promised we’d make plans to hang out. We exchanged phone numbers and she headed to her next class. I was beginning to think that maybe this town would be better than I thought.

I didn’t know why, but I suddenly found myself moving toward my locker. It was if my feet suddenly had their own mind. My palms grew slick without cause in anticipation of some nameless sense that something was about to happen. I circled the corner. Hearts don’t normally burst out of chest cavities, right?

My eyes zeroed in on my locker to find.... nothing. There was no one there. No note or paper glued to it. No sign of anything out of place. Same as it had

Disappointment rang through me sharply, like a quick cold blade passed through my skin. I frowned at my locker as I walked to it for a closer inspection. I shook my head. In all honestly, I was been ridiculous. I didn’t even know what I had been expecting!

I opened my locker and started putting my papers in. I thought that I might as well make use of the fact that I had practically raced to my locker and use it.

BANG!

I heard the sound of something large crash into something. Flicking my head around to catch a look at whatever had caused the disturbance, I noticed two boys engaging in a fist fight. My immediate reaction was to get the hell out of dodge, yet I found myself staying frozen to the spot, like a weed in the ground, I was rooted. I was horrified to feel myself almost craning to get a better look! I don’t like fights!

Like witnessing a car crash, I just couldn’t look away.

They both had dark hair, but thankfully for me, they were too far away for me to see exactly whether they had black or brown hair. One was definitely taller than the other by a good couple of inches. They weren’t so much shouting at each other as they were grunting and screaming.

Then suddenly the shorter one grabbed the other and started pushing him backwards. They were heading my way!

Move! I told myself! I didn’t. I merely stayed, eyes growing wide with fear as the boy began to swing his captive around. He let go suddenly and the other boy nearly flew back! He landed with a loud thud and groan of pain against the locker next to mine.

He looked over to me as I issued a squeak of surprise. His eyes meet mine and I forgot how to breathe.

Not only were they a beautiful shade of emerald glass, I recognized them.

His pained expression turned to one of surprise and disbelief too. Did he recognize me?

“Both of you. Headmaster’s office. Now!” A teacher caught the boys and dragged them both away. My eyes kept holding his.

I knew him. Without a doubt, it couldn’t be anyone else.

I watched him die every night.

He was the guy from my dreams.