~1~
“Take care of yourself” were one of her last words before she left me isolated in this herd of self loving creatures, she had decided she was incapable of dealing with me, though her pained expression never once abandoned my thoughts.
Reminiscing the ‘good old times’ doesn’t always leave a smile on your face. Many believe crying is for the weak; it’s anything but that. Crying allows one to finally release their pent up emotions and contributes to the streams of the world’s sadness, but I would never grant a living soul the mistake of seeing my intimate tears.
Wiping the treacherous tear from my face, I shifted my focus back to the novel I was supposed to be reading. ‘The fault in our stars’. She loved reading it. I remember how she carefully stroked through the several smooth pages, never once lifting her eyes from the text. How she passionately read each dialogue as she succumbed her mind into the tragic moments. No one can anticipate how our future will unravel and no one expects the worst, or it’s just that they don’t want to.
I could feel an overbearing pain start to seep through my brain. Closing the book, I placed it on top of my bedside table. Before switching off the lamp, I took out a tablet of paracetamol from the top and downed it.
I released a shaky breath before finally dropping my heavy head on the pillow. Closing my eyes, I tried to summon sleep but I guessed it was going to be a restless night. My thoughts invaded me and I started wondering how my first day at university would go tomorrow. Was I smart enough to actually complete this? Was it the wrong choice? What if I can’t go through with it? Knowing I needed to rest for tomorrow, I turned on my side and shut my eyes, trying but failing to sleep.
