Chapter 1
“Genny. You can do this. You are okay. You are okay. It’s just college. It’s not the end of the world. You can do this. YOU CAN DO THIS!” I say to myself in the mirror.
Maybe if I say those things to myself long enough, maybe I will actually believe them.
“GENNY! Hurry up! You don’t want to be late for your first day of college!” Mom calls for me.
She’s right, can’t be late.
“What do you think Little?” I ask my black and white cat.
“Do I look ’college ready?″
Little just looks at me like I am being stupid.
He’s right.
I am being stupid.
I can do this.
It’s just college.
Right?!?
“GENNY!”
“COMING MOM!”
I grab my phone, keys, coffee, purse, backpack, and head to my car.
“Have a great day sweetie!” Mom calls out to me as I walk out of the house and get to my car.
I turn on my music to Ed Sheeran. My favorite singer! Gosh I love him.
“Ring!” Goes my phone and turning off my music.
“Who is calling me at 7:15 in the morning?” I wonder.
“Hello?” I answer my phone.
“ARE YOU IN THE CAR?” Screams my best friend Jordan.
“YES! You don’t have to yell!” I scream back.
“ARE YOU SURE?”
“Yes I am sure! I am driving for goodness sake!”
“TAKE A PICTURE!”
“Jay, calm down. I am in the car, driving to college. You don’t have to freak out!”
“I HAD to freak out Gen! I can’t have you missing our first day of college because you were depressed or in pain!!”
I love Jordan, but she doesn’t understand how depressed I am and how much pain in am in due to my fibromylgia.
“Hey, I am NOT missing the first day of college. Okay?”
“OKAY! But I had to make sure Gen.”
“I know, I know. You and Mom always have to make sure.”
“NO EATING WHICH DRIVING!”
Lately, due to a medicine I am taking, I have been eating everything in sight. Stupid side effects of medicine.
“I WON’T! I have to go bye!”
“REMEMBER OUR AUDITION IS TONIGHT!” Jordan screams as I hang up the phone.
I totally forgot about the audition. We are audition for a role in the school’s play Alice in Wonderland. Jordan is hoping for Alice and I am hoping to be The Queen Of Hearts.
***
Now I am in the school parking lot and my hands are shaking.
Deep breathe Genny.
You can do this.
You got this.
I open my car door, grab my coffee, phone, backpack, and purse. Head inside my school for my first day of college.
I look on my schedule and my first class is with Mrs. Flynn and it’s English One.
I am at the room on my schedule. It’s 7:55 and no one is here. My class starts at 8:00.
Crap.
I go up to the front office.
“Would you like me to print you another schedule? Some of the room numbers on your current schedule may have changed.” Smiles one of the ladies at the front office.
“Sure, thank you.”
I get my new schedule and see the room number of my first class has changed.
Perfect. My first day and I am going to be late.
I run (I can’t run but I walk fast) to where my class is.
Once I get there, no one is there.
Well crap.
I see a teacher (I think) coming by.
“Are you here for English One?” She asks me.
“Yes!”
“Well they change the rooms. But I am your teacher, Mrs. Flynn. So follow me!”
I follow her to another room.
“I am Genesis but I go by Genny.”
“Nice to meet you. Take a seat.”
I sit down in the middle row of desks. Once it is 8:00, people start coming in. College is TOTALLY different from high school. In high school, everyone judged you by what you were wearing and you had a dress code. In college, people wear pj’s and slippers. Some girls wear makeup and some don’t. No body cares what you look like, it’s college!
Wow, I was scared for nothing. This is awesome!
“Welcome class, I am Mrs. Flynn. I am your English One and Literacy teacher. Here is a paper exampling everything you need to know about this class.” Mrs. Flynn smiles.
She is really pretty and very friendly. I think I am going to like her.
***
In English in Literacy, we mostly just talked about what the class was going to be about.
Now it’s time for my next class which my school requires all the students to take. Basically an easy A class.
“Hello class! Welcome to Principals of Academic Success! I am Mr. Andrews! Here is a paper explaining about this class.” Smiles the tall breaded man.
For the next long hour and a half, he talks and talks and talks. He literally doesn’t stop talking.
Once class is over, I get in my car, and drive home.
My back and legs are KILLING ME! Stupid fibromyalgia.
I have just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia a couple of months ago. But it’s been horrible. My pain has been so bad I cry and want to die. I want to do anything to stop my pain! I saw my doctor and at first he thought I had the flu. The flu? What the heck?! So we went back and he finally said I had fibromyalgia. He gave me some medicine to try. Tried it, didn’t work. He put me on another medicine, tried it, and didn’t work. Now I am going to a specialist in a few weeks, so hopefully they can help me.
It’s just been horrible hurting all the time. It makes my mental illness act up. My pain makes me depressed. I already have bipolar, anxiety, depression, and social anxiety. I DON’T need fibromyalgia making me depressed!
Ugh!
“Hey Mom, I am home.” I call out as I flop down on the couch.
“So, how was your first day at college?”
“Awesome.” I give her a thumbs up.
“Pain really bad?”
“The worst.”
“Oh Honey. I am so sorry.” Mom puts some ice packs on my back while I am still laying face down on the couch.
“Thanks Mom.”
“Anytime Sweetheart.”
I am really close to my Mom. We have been through a lot together. My teenage years were horrible. I dated an abusive boyfriend, was in and out of mental hospitals four time, was depressed, and suicidal. We fought at all. But once she started homeschooling me in tenth grade, we became close and have been close ever since.
She is truly amazing and I don’t know what I do without her.
“I am going to lay down.” I tell her.
I lay down in my bed and Little jumps on top of me.
“Hey handsome. Ready for a nap?”
With that, I fall asleep.
***
