Divided We Stand

"It's very slow paced, the plot takes a long time to pick up, and I wasn't sure where the story was going. There are WAY too many semi-colons. Semi-colons do not replace commas, and you don't use semi-colons when you already have a coordinating conjunction. Semi-colons do not replace periods, There are a lot of descriptive words that don't need to be there. Describing something should not be 3 paragraphs long unless it's something that is vital to the story OR you need to get your point across. But NOT for everything that you describe. This might sound harsh, but I have a PH.D in English Literature so hopefully my advice is beneficial to the author."