Cancerous

“Please,” tears stream as words hardly pass my quivering lips. My life shatters to prices every second. Agony piecing everything together only to not hold. My brain aches and my heart slows then races, struggling upon what to do. Stupid non-working heart. Stupid doctors. Stupid hospital. Stupid medications. Stupid cancer.

Nothing works. I just had to be that one in a hundred. The one who doesn’t make it. “Just. Please say it,” my voice breaks as another rush flows to my hands.

“Marilyn. I am so sorry. There- there’s nothing we could do. You will be in confinement for the next 180 days. Darling, I am so, so sorry.” Debora, my nurse, hugs me into her shoulder. Crying i forget about the cancer and focus on the friends i may never see again. The sister I’ll never hug again. And most of all, the world I’ll never see or touch again.

Pulling away from the nurse I take a single look back at my family before pushing past the door and parading back to my metaphorical prison. The door feels like a locked gate as it softly closes behind me and I jump onto my death bed. I spare my daily look outside and pull the covers over my head. Tears don’t leave me, just the hopes and dreams of returning to the world. My breath heats the world below the sheets and sweat dampens my forehead.

My head begins to turn and i throw the blanket off. I try grabbing a bag from below the bed while still on top, leading to my face plummeting to the spotless white floor. Do they like not know any color besides white and blue? I quickly grab the needed bag and grab the belongings i was allowed to have. Stupid clean freaks. Walking around I place anything I need and want into the bag. As patients walk around I try to blend in, knowing it’s not easy, I stand in the middle of a family crowd. I grow more confident as I near the entrance. I turn the corner and my vision settles on a clueless Debora in front of the entrance. I panic and lean against the wall, thinking of plan B. Ask her to get you food or something. Simple.

I take confident strides but halfway down I walk slowly and sadly. I walk up to her and tap her shoulder, “Debora, can you get me some mashed potatoes?” My voice fades and I begin to fake cough.

“Sure, Marilyn,” she fades off and I look around at all the other doctors, distracted as they are, and walk out the door. My feet carry me away from the Hospital and to a near gas station. I fix the hat I wear to make it appear that I’m not bald. I walk into the gas station and to the cashier, “Do you have a city map?” I ask confidently. The shady man hands me a map of my current city, Tampa, Florida. I rack my brain for the address to the house my parents bought when we moved here from Indiana. My 16 year old cancerous body can only carry me a few blocks before i sit on a paint chipped red bench. I reach into my bag and retrieve a bottle of water. I sit and drink half the bottle before feeling revived and refreshed. I move to put my bottle in my bag and see two scuffed black Nike’s. My eyes travel the width of the stranger before reaching the face of a skinny boy around my own age. When my eyes meet his a smile spreads across his not-so-clean face. I smile back and try rushing past him, but his hand grips my body elbow. “Hey, what’s wrong?” The boys questions.

“N-nothing, just leave me alone.” I slip my wrist from him and walk further down the cracked sidewalk. I walk around a corner and am grabbed by the waist not long after. “I told you to le-” my voice gets cut off by a large hand. Another hand grips the waist line off my leggings and starts to pull down.

“Hello, darling,” a gruff voice whispers in my ear before a grunt of pain leaves his disgusting lips. I’m being pulled away and the man is laying on the ground, arm behind his back, and the macilent boy from before sits upon him. “Bash, what are you doing?” The man grunts.

“Max, I told you not to touch anyone, do you ever listen?” Bash, I presume, answer a smile growing, “Now go.” the two males separate and Max walks away after a nod to me, I grudgingly look in his direction and scoff. I reach to fix the hat on my head, moved by the previous situation.

“So… Bash. I… uh, thank you, I guess.” I rub the back of my neck and adjust the strap of my bag. He walks away and I become confused before he picks up my water battle that now bears scratches on the bottom.

He hands the bottle to me, “ya, Bash, you’re welcome. I just wanted to give you this back, sorry for being a creep back there.” his cheek pulls in and I can tell he is biting his cheek.

I nod and start backing away, “Thank you, but I gotta get home.” I turn around and walk a little faster. I walk about another 3 blocks before realizing I left my map on the stupid bench. All around me is a bunch of apartment buildings and no gas stations or nothing with-holding a map. I scowl and return to the bench, seeing Bash, holding a map. “Can I have that map, please?” I ask walking up to him.

“Yeah, just tell me your name and why you are in such a hurry.” a smirk appears on his face as a huff of annoyance slips out of my lips.

“Marilyn, I just need to get home.” He stares at me with wonder. The strange boy stands and circles around me twice before settling in front of me. I finally see the contrast in our heights, as my 5’4 height is a whapping 9 inches from his 6’1 frame, I realize that I shouldn’t run from him. He starts to return the map, but as I reach for it he pulls it away. “Please, can I just have the map.” I roll my eyes and death glare at him.

“Sure,” he hands the map to me for real. I walk away faster than before. It’s only I stop in my tracks at his next words, “Bye, Cancer girl.”