Loving Many

Erin

It was a typical thirsty Thursday at the bar I tended at the More Than Mono in the eastside of St. Louis.

Many people filled the tables as I mixed the $3 drink specials in rapid succession.

It was normal until he walked in. I don’t know why he captivated my gaze, but for some reason, I was unable to avert my eyes. The energy in the room seemed to shift, but I was the only one affected.

As I took in his figure, I observed that he wasn’t that much more impressive than other guys his age that came in. He had muscles- but they weren’t emphasized.

If he was here at More Than Mono than he is probably either straight and looking for another girl in addition to the one he already has, or he was a bisexual free agent looking for a couple. I guess he also could be bi, and looking for a guy.

What if he was hiding the fact that he was bi from his girlfriend?

It wouldn’t be the time that was the case for those who came to this bar.

Ross, the owner of More Than Mono, was a man with a dream. He dreamed that he could live as he wanted, loving many and having many lovers, without judgment from society. Ross had been married to Lilly for almost 30 years, and they had 3 kids. It was around their tenth year of marriage that they realized that something seemed to be missing. Like many couples who feel distant, they had wandering eyes and lusted towards others. They then realized that they didn’t want to split, but they still wanted to love others. They describe their experience as a ‘trial and error’ process, but the final result is their happiness in a polyamorous relationship.

Then came the bar. A product of their desire to be able to go to a bar and pick up someone together, with better odds that that person would be willing and wanting to participate.

Before I started working here I thought I knew what that word meant, and had preconceived notions on what it would look like. I went through what most straight, monogamous people would think: the jealousy. If there is more than one person than there has to be jealousy because one will feel less than if the other is getting attention....right?

I have since watched a lot of poly relationships form, and almost all my friends are poly because I made them through work.

I learned that every poly relationship is different, and changes as the people do. On the outside, it seems as if it is tiring work to maintain all of those relationships. However, I have come to understand that it all is perspective. For my friends it is about the emotion, they are free to feel natural. The work is worth it because they get all of their partners, and they feel complete through giving and receiving in those bonds that are formed.

When I applied and learned the concept of the bar, I was hesitant- I was worried that they would try and convert me to their lifestyle. Or that they would think less of me because I only wanted to be with one person. However, it became clear over time that the entire base of the community was acceptance. So they accepted me as who I was- small, purple haired, straight, and foul-mouthed Erin.

I smiled to myself at the thought of the sense of peace I felt here. It may be crowded and loud in our little bar, but the community was unmatched.

“What is so funny?” a deep voice called me out of my haze.

I looked up to find the man who entered the bar earlier standing right in front of me. My heart seemed to stop and I froze completely.

“Hellooooo.... earth to Erin.” He said as he waved a large hand in front of my face.

I contorted my face in confusion and asked: “How do you know my name?”

He then pointed to my nametag pinned to my black tank top.

My cheeks quickly reddened.

“What can I get you to drink?” I asked, trying to recover from my embarrassment.

“Whisky on rocks” He replied smiling.

“I’m going to need to see some ID” I said back.

He raised an eyebrow, before taking his wallet out and handing over his Licence.

It said he was from Arkansas, and his name was Shilo Volpato. At a nice 6′ 2" to my 5" 6′ he seemed to radiate confidence. I also noticed that his ID said he was actually 25, even though his face tricked me into guessing 22 earlier.

“So, Shilo, are you just passing through or did you recently move here?” I asked in an effort to make small talk.

“Moving soon, I am actually apartment hunting.” He said

I asked a few more common questions about where he was looking and made some recommendations at locations.

I would have loved to stay and talk more, but there were other drinks that needed to be made and delivered.

When I came back almost thirty minutes later, he was simply on his phone as he sipped his drink. I decided he needed some prodding.

“What brought you here?” I inquired

“Well, I wanted a scene change. So I requested to be transferred the H&M here.”

“That’s lovely. But I was asking why are you here” I gestured around the bar to emphasize my point.

Shilo sighed heavily. “Well I haven’t been with anyone in awhile, and since I swing both ways I figured I would try to find someone here.”

So I was partially right, he was bi.

“Well you haven’t talked to anyone since you arrived, you might want to start there,” I shot at him with a playful smile. “It seems you are in need of friends. I will be your first friend her in your new home city. My guess is that a guy with looks like yours, you have been with a girl more recently than you have with a guy.”

He gave a small nod, confirming my assumption.

“Then I am going to direct you to that hot male nurse over there on the other end of the bar. He is a little older than you, but I have heard good things. His name is Levon... but maybe still ask his name after you say hi.”

He looked at me a little taken aback by my openness and direct nature.

I only shot back the brightest smile and sweetly said, “Now get your ass off that stool and go get fucked by that hot piece of gay ass.”

My words were the wake-up call he needed because he got up and moved next to Levon.

I stared after him almost longingly, wishing that I was the type of girl to take a guy home from the bar. Even though I loved all my friends, and felt accepted by them, I always worried that if I got into a relationship with someone who liked both sexes that I would feel inadequate.

As tried to focus on my job, and got back to mixing drinks, I couldn’t help but look over at Shilo talking with Levon. They were sitting close together and obviously had chemistry. They seemed to be as close as possible with legs touching. I knew that body language, and I knew that before long they would be leaving the bar together to go back to Levon’s place and fuck. I knew, and I wanted Shilo- but I didn’t feel possessive or jealous. I was happy he was getting the action.

This new epiphany gave me confidence and when they went to settle their tabs a few minutes later, I wrote my number on his receipt. When I handed them their receipts along with a complimentary condom, I winked at Shilo before sashaying away.

Now to wait for his call....