Good description

"From the beginning, you gave me a vivid picture, from your description of "Dion" to the portrayal of what had happened to the world. The story has a dark (and obviously apocalyptic) feel that I really like. I'm curious to know more about where the Mana came from and what is going to happen next. Already, I feel an attachment to the main character, so good work there. The reason I marked it down was because of some spelling and grammatical errors. And also there were places where it just wasn't smooth. A few corrections would make it a lot easier to read. Please let me know when you add more to this story! You certainly won my vote. Good luck in the contest! :D"