On The Road Again!
There was a fly on my window. Which I couldn’t really comprehend because I was in a car going 90 mph, probably more like 100 mph because my brother is an avid speeder, so I could really only see two possibilities.
One a.k.a. the logical reasonable one - The fly was on the car before my brother started flooring it so it didn’t have to survive being hit by the most obnoxious yellow and black car at 1,000 mph.
But the problem with this theory is that I only saw the bug recently at its exact spot so it would have to climb the entire windshield without me noticing.
Which leads into theory two.
A.k.a the really stupid totally not at all probable, but fun to think about theory.
It is actually a radiative fly. If it is, please let it bite me somehow so I could learn to fly and get out of this mess.
Though in reality, I was being a crybaby ‘mess’ was having to go to college which isn’t the hard part it’s the, having to leave home and talk to other human beings like a functioning adult, and not like a total spaz. Which was the real mess. See if they could just drop me off at college and I just went to all my classes without the having to talk to other people it would be just great but no tis not to be.
My mom told me that if I was so nervous about having to actually talk to other human beings that I should write down conversation starters. I was about to write down ‘If you were bitten by any radioactive bug what would it be?’ but what’s the point? How is a conversation starter going to help me when all I’m going to do is fumble through every conversation I’m in. People are really going to think I’m a socially competent person when I pull out my conversation starter sheet and stutter though half the sentence then at that point I’d just put it in my pocket and slowly walk away, both parties would be extremely relieved.
“Hey Hellen, guess how fast I’m going?”
He did this at least every hour I internally groaned.
“150”
“Nope 80 mph on the dot.”
“Oh my god, you’re going the speed limit. What could possibly possess you to go at the speed of a turtle.”
My comment was only half sarcastic. Just so you know.
“Look at the car in front of us.”
It was the black Land Rover with a sticker of a T-rex on the back...my parents’ car.
“How in the hell did they get in front of us! You’ve been going 100 for half the trip!”
“Well, they probably didn’t stop for lunch, or for bathroom breaks, or to get a box of Twinkies.”
“They probably didn’t have to stop for gas because somebody didn’t look at his gas gauge.”
“I wouldn’t have needed to use so much gas, if you didn’t go traitor on us.”
“U of A is lame.”
I kid you not, he pulled over the car...so much for trying to not get our parents attention, though I mean it’s virtually impossible with this car, it’s literally a striped yellow and black bug, a blind person would be able to see it.
“Blasphemy is not allowed in this car!”
I honest to god could not believe how he kept a straight face.
“Jesus, did you really have to stop the car.”
He pulled back onto the freeway.
“Yes, com’on you have to admit it was a little funny.”
“We’ll see if mom thought it was funny when we get to the dorms.”
“When I tell her why, she’ll understand,” He paused for a moment I was about to start staring at the fly again but then he said, “But really though ASU, you could have gone anywhere but you chose to the place only 2 degrees colder.”
“I wanted to stay near home but mom said no to that, so I just chose the next best thing.”
“You never told me mom didn’t want you to stay at home.”
“Ya, she wanted me to leave, to ‘broaden my horizons’ or something stupid like that.”
He did something that was almost a scoff, but not quite.
“So you chose the least horizon broadening thing out there.”
“Ya something like that.”
