.

You have to know, all I wanted from the very beginning was for her to be happy. In my mind it seemed too simple - but then again things are rarely as simple as they seem. I wanted her to smile when she saw me, I wanted her to laugh at my bad jokes, I wanted her to be happy when she was around me. I wanted her to be mine. Again, things are rarely as simple as you’d think they’d be. This first time I saw her, I knew instantly that she was meant for me. I’d never felt anything like what I experienced as I watched her jogging down the sidewalk that day.

She was brighter than the sun and as striking as a bolt of lightning.

Her long, straight, dark-blonde hair blew in the breeze, and it’s almost as if I could feel it’s tendrils snaring me in their trap. She only wore a yellow sports bra and yoga pants. Her flawless tan skin begged me to touch it. I knew that this is what people called love at first sight. It was stronger than anything I had felt before. The need to talk to her and to be next to her was almost all-consuming.

Yet, I couldn’t make my legs move. I was glued to the spot, there in the parking lot with full grocery bags dangling from my hands. She kept jogging, and my eyes followed her every move. She was graceful, even out of breath with sweat dripping from her brow. And then she was gone, out of sight.

I knew I had a goofy smile on my face as I carried my groceries into my apartment. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but my heart was aching.

I wondered if I’d ever get the chance to see her again. Had I let her walk out of my life just as fast as she had walked into it? Had I missed my opportunity?

I made a split decision, grabbing my keys from where I had just put them down, and got back into my car. It had only been a few minutes; surely I could catch up with her.

I drove around the parking lot of the apartment complex, hoping and praying that I could find her before she went inside and I lost her. My prayers were mercifully answered as I caught sight of her unlocking a door to an apartment. My heart pounded like a drum. I pulled in to a parking space a few cars down from where she stood and then got out. Her door closed behind her and suddenly I was so nervous I felt like I may puke. My palms were clammy and my fingers shook.

I slowly made my way up to her door and then I stood there, wondering what I would say to her. That’s when I heard the chorus of a popular indie rock song that I had heard a few times on the radio, and then I could hear her sweet voice as she answered the phone. My heart may have skipped a beat.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t answer the first time, I was on my run.” the muffled voice from inside took my breath away. She was so beyond perfect. She could have been an angel on Earth.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” she continued and then giggled. The sound of her laugh was like a bell.

“Tonight?” a note of surprise in her voice.

“That’s kind of short notice, Kate.”

I listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word.

“I mean when have I ever turned down one of her crazy parties? Of course, I’m going!”

I felt a little shock in my veins. Was she going to a party tonight? That would be the perfect time to introduce myself. Admittedly, it seemed a little weird to meet her right now, just as stranger randomly knocking at her door.

“Okay, I’ll be there around eight. Okay. Love you, too, Kate.” she giggled and then she was off the phone.

I hurried back to my car, not wanting to be seen quite yet. I debated whether or not I should go home and get ready and then come back, or if I should just wait here in the parking lot until she left. I didn’t want to miss her leaving because otherwise, I wouldn’t know where to go.

After a few minutes, I decided to go back to my apartment to get ready. I was kind of sweaty and I was in a faded tee-shirt and dirty jeans. I had to make a good impression for meeting the love of my life.

I got ready and was back parked in front of her apartment within an hour, and from there it was only about a thirty-minute wait until she walked out of her apartment dressed in a short gold dress and high heels, holding a clutch purse in her hand. My mouth probably actually dropped open seeing her in that outfit. Her hair was curled now and her makeup was beautiful. She looked like a goddess.

I watched her get into a small newer model silver car and start it up. I waited for her to get farther down the road before I followed. I didn’t want to be seen quite yet.

I followed at a safe distance all the way to the outskirts of town where we arrived at a huge house with thumping music blaring from every window. There were people everywhere. It was hard to find a parking spot on the congested street so I had to park in this small field off road.

I looked into the rearview mirror to make sure no one had spotted me where I parked. Yet, still sat in my car, nervous to what I might say to her.

Yet, I kept checking my appearance in the rearview mirror while practicing my speech for when I finally approach her. My heart was sure pounding at the thought of talking to her for what would be the first time ever. I took a deep breath in before getting out of my car. I opened the car door and placed one leg out, but as I did a man slammed his hand on top of my car roof and shouted,

“You can’t park here!” he was slurring his words.

“Okay... I’ll move my car.”

I couldn’t get a clear look at him because he was wearing a grey hoodie with his hood up. He sounded drunk, and I very much doubt for a minute he owns this field.

They weren’t anywhere I could park so I pulled out my wallet and took out ten bucks in hope that he would just take it and leave me alone.

“Ah… you can park here... I tell you what… if you threw me another ten I could look after your car?” he asks, slurring his words. I couldn’t blame him for making a little cash out of me. Yet, I took out another ten and said,

“Just take this and clear off.”

He took the cash and walked off with no hassle at all. Yet, I stood there checking my appearance in my side mirror for the last time.

I suppose this will have to do. I turned around facing the house when I saw a group of people in the front yard dancing and shouting,

“Party!”

I casually strolled across the street towards the house while carefully watching my surroundings. But as I walked closer to the house, I then saw the love of my life walking out the front door yapping on her cell phone. I walked over while playing it cool, I mixed in with others until she finished her phone call, but I stood there eaves-dropping her conversation, and I listened to her every word.

“Where the hell are you, Kate? But you said you would be here before me. Fine. Don’t be too long, okay.”

I was a few feet away from her. I could smell her to the point I needed to get close to her. I was tempted to walk up close to her so I could smell her. I slowly coated towards her where she stood.

I was about to speak to her but some big shot decided to beat me to it. I couldn’t bear it. The thought of them both together. I felt gutted, hurt, and betrayed because that was to be the love of my life. I watched as they both chatted away with each other. She gave him a look, a look that should be mine, not his. She gently took his hand and pulled him into the house.

“Come with me,” she says while holding that same look.

I followed them both back into the house when I saw them walking up the stairs giggling. The house was like a drug den. I could see a couple on the bottom of the stairs making out. Nonetheless, my heart beat twice the normal rate it should of because I knew what was about to happen. I waited until they were both out of sight so I could follow them. I could sure use a stiff drink right now.

Yet, I slowly made my way up the stairs when I heard moaning and groaning. I craned my head to pinpoint exactly where they were. Yet, I followed the sound to the bathroom door. I leaned down and began peeking through the keyhole to witness the love of my life leaning over the bathtub with her skirt pulled up to her waistline and her knickers down to her ankles, reviling him inside of her. I felt angry but turned on by the thought of it being me in his shoes. But the realization of it was terrifying as it wasn’t me.

“I want to feel you deep inside of me,” she begs.

I couldn’t bear it any longer. I needed to put an end to this as soon as possible… but how? I stood up and paced up and down outside the bathroom door. Yet, I could still hear them fucking. It was driving me crazy. Even the sound of the music from downstairs couldn’t block out the groaning sounds coming from her. I took one last look to see him thrusting her deeper. Truth was... I was powerless to stop them. I decided to head back downstairs and wait for them to finish.

I was sitting on the couch talking to some random middle-aged guy with dark, short ratty hair. He was wearing biker leathers. A little strange dressed like that for a party? Yet, he was talking about how easy most of the women were here but I wasn’t interested. The only woman I wanted was upstairs fucking some guy. I couldn’t care what the guy was chatting about as long as he continued to pass the drinks, then I would continue to listen… almost listening.

Time passed thirty minutes exact. The love of my life came staggering through the living room. She was clearly off of her face. I hoped she wasn’t planning on driving home in the state she was in. The guy that just fucked her came into the living room and quickly picked up his jacket and left in a hurry. Maybe I should go over and speak with her? My heart said yes but my mind said no. I sat there in silence as she dances away to the sound of the music. I watched her every move. I even imagined her looking at me while she dances. She moved so sexily.

Her eyes were closed as she moved to every single beat of that song. I knew I could not intrude right now.

Yet, I felt stupid. I didn’t catch her name, but I would love to know what she is called. I could sit here all night and just watch her dance.

My eyes gaze across the room, I could see her purse and cell phone on the side just by the door as you walk in… stupid to leave your personal belongings just lying around for some random person to pick up. I stood from sitting on the couch and casually walk over to her personal belongings. I picked up her cell phone and purse and walked over to her and said,

“Hi.”

She slowly opened her eyes and made eye contact. The most beautiful look I was waiting for… but she suddenly looked at her belongings that were resting in the palm of my hands and says,.

“WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY STUFF?” she asks. She raised her right eyebrow. I didn’t know what to say. I paused momentarily, thinking of what to say, but I was lost for words and every voice in the room hovered over me like a dozen drones. The only thing I did say was,

“I…” I was tripping over words again, she had gotten to me and I could tell.

She snatched her purse and cell phone from my hands and says,

“Don’t even think of arguing back,” she firmly went on.

I stood almost paralyzed by the brutal hostility coming from her.

“Okay… I was just simply bringing your belongings to you before someone steals them,”

“You need a mental health day, a long weekend.”

I played it cool and took it in my stride, then apologized to her. I walked away and gave her a polite nod and briefly smiled. Yet, she walks off and I stood there in the middle of the living room floor as I watched her walk out of my life again. Nonetheless, she left, so I followed after her but headed back to my car so I could follow her home, ensuring that she gets home safely. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to her, especially while she is drunk.

I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything did happen to the love of my life.