Chapter 1: Dustin
I’m not sure where or when my life turned around but I do know when it went downhill and who helped drag me under. Life hasn’t always been easy for me but I made the best of it. I also made it worse but I survived and am a much stronger man for it. When the people you love are supposed to protect you and they let you down, it’s possible to turn to other things. Running away, being homeless, drugs and sex. Not that I did any of them to rebel against my parents but I wanted to be understood, something few people were. If you’d ask me about my birth mother I would tell you one of two things. The best things she did was give me away and I got my drug habit from her. I was adopted by a nice couple but they weren’t all that happy to know that I’m gay. One of the few things I had going for me was the one thing they couldn’t stand. They never pressured me to be different but they always encouraged me to find myself. As far as I knew I had already found myself, but I wasn’t aware that they would care so much when I decided to run away.
By the time, I came back home I was 18, high and nearly knocking on deaths door. I had followed in my birth mother’s shoes and my drug of choice was heroin. I lived every day while I was gone as if I needed it to live. I needed it to breath and make it through the day. My dealer was all too happy to oblige, but he wasn’t all that happy when he nearly killed me. I’m sure he’s the one that returned me home just before the next hit would have killed me. My family got me back together by sending me to a rehab where I withdrew hard and it was some of the scariest and most painful days of my life. They supported me in getting clean and helped me to spread my wings. Since then I’ve gone off to college, gotten a job that I love, met, and married an amazing man. Things are looking up and I couldn’t be happier with the way things turned out.
Being gay makes you different in many ways, but most people aren’t as understanding as we’d like them to be. It’s not like we’re going to push our views and beliefs on you, we just want you to understand it’s ok to be different. It’s also ok to love someone of the same sex as you, but society has created a monster that’s not all that forgiving or accepting. Luckily for me I have the man that’s meant to share the rest of my life with me. I don’t have to explain to anyone who I am or why I love who I love, but it’s interesting how as an adult people seem to care less. I met Tommy through my ex and I couldn’t be happier. Tommy and I married and are awaiting the arrival of our daughter. Our roommate Roxy has agreed to be our surrogate and it’s been a struggle, but were making it work.
Working overnight as a nurse in the Emergency Department has its benefits and challenges, but it keeps me on my toes. We’re busy most nights as we’re usually understaffed and people will always need medical attention. Tonight, will be no different but the main reason people are showing up is because of car accidents. It’s odd to say but those are the best cases for me because they are the ones that require the most attention. Routinely I check on patients and I keep them informed of what’s going on, but often I don’t have the answer to that. Often, I find myself staring at the computers because they give a lot of information without having to see a patient all the time. Remaining calm and in control are the only ways to make it through the night.
At home Tommy is my calm but he’s just like me, an alpha male who dominates everything. He’s more able to control himself then I am and he’s down on himself a lot. He knows he’s a great man but here of late we’ve both given each other plenty of reasons to doubt one another. We do manage to get through these moments but I can’t say that it’s not without struggle and words we may not mean. We do our best to share the ability of being an alpha but sometimes it’s not possible.
Let’s go back to the time before Tommy, I was with this guy Zander. Zander was everything, tall, lean, tanned, tattooed. He hated that I was an alpha and most times I let him in charge because he couldn’t handle me at full speed. We treated each other well and the sex was ok, it wasn’t anything special or notable. I’m not sure how I managed to be with him so long. For some reason, Zander thought it would be appropriate to bring another person into our relationship. At first I wasn’t all that into it, but he convinced me it would be worth it. I enjoyed them, but they weren’t the best experience for me and they soon became the only way I’d ever get off. Things were ok for a while until I stopped being the one getting laid. Zander wouldn’t share me but he also wouldn’t fuck me, he was always willing to receive though. I started to hate it and him, until he introduced me to Tommy.
Tommy stands at 6’1 with wide green eyes. His hair is steel grey, and thick enough for me to pull on. I thought I’d seen it all, but as I take in his naked form I get lost in thought. He’s tattooed and pierced with one tattoo on either arm, one across his chest and a full back piece. He’s got his tongue, nipples and dick pierced. I remember even then thinking just how perfect he is. However, the addition of Tommy didn’t help me. If anything, it made things worse, but I did what I was told because I didn’t want to give up whatever we wanted to call Zander and I. Tommy always was considerate of me, but Zander could have cared less, or so it seemed. Tommy is dominant in many ways, but shy in others. I had to stop myself from the fantasies I was having before I would do something I’d regret.
