Chapter 1
“Hello, hellllllllooooooo, HELLLO,” screamed repeatedly at no one in particular because I was completely alone in this limbo like place.
My only option was to walk and see if there was some door I could exit and maybe find a heaven or hell or better yet my body!!!! But whoever built this place really knew how to mess with a girl’s mind because it was stark white, I couldn’t even consider it a room because it was so vast with no signs of an end. I screamed and screamed and screamed but nothing, no one was coming to get me. I was majorly fucked.
I had no sense of time and there was no sign of food.
As a self declared foodie I was mostly surprised my stomach hadn’t complained and beside being dead that was by far the most of unsettling thing about the place.
I glanced at my chocolate brown skin and used my jagged fingernails and poked at it to make sure I wasn’t crazy or dreaming but, just as you guessed actually did nothing to confirm my suspicion and so with a shake of my head I gave myself the hardest pinch. Squeezing the thin skin between my index and thumb with all the strength I could muster.
“Ouch, mother-father-uncle-nephew-niece-sister-brother-nene” I yelped out in pain, rolling my eyes and jumped defensively as if someone else had inflicted the pain. With nothing to do I layed on the surprising warm floor taking my hair out of the ponytail it was in so I could lay flat on my back, parting it in half with my hands to make a pillow for my head, with tears now streaming down my face toward my ears I closed my eyes and recalled my last day on earth.
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19/05/2018
“And,I am supposed to care why?” I looked at my friend Lionel unamused by his stories of his man whoring adventures as we walked through the mall food court looking for a meal within. This was near impossible since our budget consisted of $5 and we lived in New York city.
“Come on!” he sighed ,” I always listen to your shoplifting tails and not once do I complain.
“Yes because my stories are actually funny,” I then looked at him pointedly,” And definitely don’t involve possibly getting an STD or a 16 year old pregnant,” I plastered a on a fake smile and blinked innocently.
He then looked down in shame and that ended the conversation.
I wish I hadn’t been so mean to him now. Tears continued to stream down my face this time more rapidly as I remembered his shaggy brown hair and caramel skin, we had been friends from the moment we entered highschool, we were two of the four black kids at my “prestigious high school” that freshman year. We instantly clicked and have been very close friends from then on but recently we were slowly growing apart as we barely had anything in common anymore. He was an 18 year old boy chasing sophomores and I was a 17 year old dealing with her mommy issues.
My mother walked out on me and my brother and so my father who worked as a manager in a grocery store was left to care for us on his very small paycheque. My brother who was very talented in almost everything he did was now at Syracuse University on a soccer scholarship and so that left me and my dad.
18/05/2018
“Wave, come on it 10 in the night that is no time for a young black woman to be roaming the streets of New York , ” he sighed, ” Did you see what happened on the news look at how many young girls your age are missing, The streets is a crazy place.”
“Yeah, ok , but nowhere is safe not even school,” I shouted and instantely regretted it as soon as I saw the look on his face. recently our rival school had a shooting and my dad was pretty shaken up about it considered transferring me to my local school so I’d be closer to home ,i knew i shouldn’t have brought it up but I my pettiness got the best of me.
He then looked at me with tired weighed down eyes and said, “I know sweetie, but” he paused for a long time and then continued,” With your mother gone I now have to play both roles and that isn’t easy, so give me a break,” he then turned and made his way to the couch aka his bed since we couldn’t afford a larger apartment than a one bedroom. Something in my heart told me I should go talk to him but my stubborness had yet again gotten the best of me governing my emotions, I turned on my heels and went into the room layed on my bed cried.
If only I knew that was going to be our last conversation maybe I would’ve gone and spoken to him, but now I’m dead and he probably thinks of my death as his failure even though he shouldn’t in my heart I know he does. I blinked my eyes open, they were burning from all the regret I felt the loomed over my heart for the way I treated my friends and family.
Slowly I rose to my feet dusting off imaginary dust from my scrub- like uniform, feeling guilty I pinched myself again this time not to see if this was real but as punishment for making them moan over ,my soul even though I mistreated them. I continuously gathered the skin between two fingers pulling at the same spot over and over again the irritated skin soon had crescent marks etched into them with small beads of blood forming as I broke the skin. I wanted so badly to cry but I didn’t, I couldn’t.
“STOP THAT!” A voiced boomed, at first I thought it was all in my head and continued. “Stooppp That I said, now,” this time the voice was louder and even more pronounced sounding masculine, from which direction it came I had no idea neither could I put an age to the voice, but somewhere in the back of my mind this voice sounded familiar as a friend I’d known. A name or face couldn’t be placed though so I tried to further investigate
“Hello, who’s there, what’s your name?” I bellowed trying my best to disguise agony, from the pain I had inflicted on myself, but nothing, the voice was gone.
There it is, my very first chapter. I’m very excited and hope you enjoy, vote and comment on this story if you like it as well as if there’s any errors you spot feel free to point it out. Thanks much mwah💋
