Forever

“You know if I felt better I’d come with you.” He said.

Corrine, pushed her garment bag into the cars trunk and pressed the hatch button. “It’s just going to be a bunch of medical people yacking at each other, I doubt you would enjoy the conference anyhow.” She ran her eyes up and down Nick giving him a critical once over. “I only wish you’d get over whatever it is you have.”

“It’s just some bug, I’m sure it’ll pass in a couple of days.”

Nick held out his arms, Corrine stepped into his embrace. “I want you to take care of yourself while I’m gone. You want me to have one of the grandkids stop by to check on you?”

Nick held her out at arms length. He frowned.

“I take that as a no?”

“If I need them I can call.” Nick opened the car door and she slid onto the seat.

“You know if Jacky wasn’t going to be there I’d stay home.”

Nick closed the car door and planted his palms on the windows sill. “How long has it been since you’ve seen this Jacky?

“We graduated our RN program in 77, she joined the Peace Corps right after and I haven’t seen her since, we’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Do you think you will recognize her by sight?”

“I hope so, why do you ask?”

“Last week I saw a guy I knew as a kid, it was in the parking lot of the grocery store, I was about to run over when a car passed in front of me. When I looked up he was gone.”

“But you recognized him?”

“Sure did, same unruly sandy colored hair, same goofy smile on his face, I’d recognize him anywhere.”

“Maybe you should look him up?”

Nick furrowed his brow.

“The internet...dear.” Corrine said and chuckled.

Nick stuck his hands in his pockets and cocked his head in thought. “I don’t know, Zolton isn’t one you find, he finds you.”

Corrine burst out laughing. “Zolton? That’s his name? That will make a Google search a hell of a lot easier.”

Nick stuck his head through the window planting a kiss on her cheek.

Still chuckling Corrine put the car in gear, “I love you sweetheart, I’ll see you on Sunday.”

*****

The TV was on in the living room and Nick just finished making popcorn for the football game. He heard a knock at the screen door.

“Hello Zolton,” he called over his shoulder. “The popcorn has lots of butter, just the way you like it.”

“You mean the way you like it, don’t you?”

Nick laughed and turned to face his long lost friend. His mouth turned up in a smile he extended both arms. “My God! How long has it been?”

“To long my old friend, to long.”

The embrace was hearty and heartfelt, both shedding tears of joy, and regret.

“Why did you stop seeing me?” Nick asked.

“You stopped seeing me, my friend.” Zolton snatched a handful of popcorn, “Remember?”

“Let’s sit down.” Nick ushered him into the living room and turned off the TV. It may have been sixty years since they were together last but the bond between them was timeless. They sat cross-legged on the floor, the bowl of popcorn set between them.

“As I remember it, your mother told you I was a bad influence and forbid you to hang around with me anymore.” Zolton said.

Nick grinned. “I can’t blame her. I told mom it was your idea for me to jump out the garage loft.”

“It was, but you were the one that convinced me he could fly. And thanks a lot for ratting me out.”

Nick began to laugh, “I just broke my arm, I was writhing in pain and she starts screaming, why would you do such a stupid thing. When I told her Zolton said I could fly, she had a fit. I think her exact words were, I don’t want to hear you mention his name in this house ever again.”

Zolton shrugged his shoulders before slapping his hands on the floor and howling in laughter. “You should have seen the siren look on your face when you leapt out, if just believing you could fly was all it took you would have soared.”

Wait a second, how could you have seen the look on my face, I thought you were standing behind me.”

“No, no, don’t you remember, I was on the ground. Anyhow, you jumped out, arms extended with this glorious smile on your face, then this look...” Zolton began laughing again, “Then this look of, Oh my God!”

“We should have put a mattress down, or something.”

Zolton threw his hands up, “Nick, don’t you get it, you believed. To put a mattress down would have cast doubt, the only way you were going out that loft is if you believed with your whole heart.”

Nick grinned, “I guess you’re right, and I did believe.”

Nick grabbed a handful of popcorn, Zolton doing the same, then both munched happily, butter glistening on their chins. Zolton pulled his shirttail free and wiped his face. Nick ran his shirtsleeve across his mouth.

“You know, you’ve been my best friend ever.” Nick locked eyes with Zolton making sure he was listening. “Not just then but for my whole life, I’ve never had a friend as close and dear to me as you.”

Zolton smiled.

“Sure I’ve had buddies, a couple at work over the years, a neighbor I golf with, some of Corrine’s friends husbands, but nobody I could talk with like you.”

“Hey, do you remember Natalie? She used to sit in front of you in third grade.”

Nick’s eyes grew large as coat buttons and a hand went to cover a laugh. “Oh my God, do you remember how we used to torcher her? You would make those moon eyes at me pretending to be her and I would start giggling. She would turn in her seat and glare at me and I would try to explain it was you making me laugh but she wasn’t having any of it. It drove her crazy!” Nick stood, “You want a soda? I’m thirsty as hell.”

“Soda is it?” Zolton asked.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Years ago I damn near drank myself to death, don’t drink alcohol any more.”

“Did you want to die? Zolton asked.

Nick looked skyward contemplating his answer. “I don’t know that I necessarily wanted to die, I just didn’t want to live. Do you know what I mean?”

Zolton gave a grave nod. “Yeah, I think so, Nick.”

“It was hard, not quitting drinking, that wasn’t so bad but learning to live again, that was tough.”

“I wish I could have been there for you.”

“You were Zolton, you were always in the back of my mind but I was too ashamed, ashamed of what you would think of me.”

“But I know you better than anybody, I could have helped.”

Nick reached across, knocking over the popcorn bowl as he embraced his friend. After a few moments he said, “I do have something you could help me with though.”

“What is that?” Zolton asked.

“Love.” Nick said. “I have tried to figure out what love is and the only conclusion there is; love is self-gratification. Love is selfish.”

Zolton blinked a couple of times. “How’s that?”

“Why do we love people? Nick asked. Before Zolton could respond he continued. “I love Corrine because she’s kind to me, she helps me, she is good company to me, she has sex with me! Do you see how many times I say, me? It’s all about me, about what she gives me in our relationship. It got to the point where I found it hard to tell her I love her.”

“Hmm.” Zolton said. “Did she bring you joy?”

Nick scratched his chin, “Yes.”

“Do you think she would have liked to know?”

Nick remained silent.

“To say it, is only an expression, love takes more work but there would be nothing wrong in letting her know she brings joy into your life.”

“But I still felt selfish because even in telling her I was receiving pleasure.”

Zolton grinned. “And wasn’t that wonderful, the more you gave the more you’d get in return. There’s nothing wrong with being good to yourself.”

Nick sat for a moment thinking on it, after a while a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I knew you could help.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Zolton said. “I like to remember those more simple times, the summer afternoons when we’d lay in the grass in your back yard just watching the clouds float by.”

“Yup, just you and me and as the wind changed their shapes we’d tell each other what we’d see. Mine always looked like demon’s and monsters and you’d look at the same clouds and say how they looked more like an elephant or duck.”

“Those were the good old days, not a care in the world.”

“Yeah, life got a little more complex after that. High school, jobs, marriage, kids.

Zolton asked, “What was your biggest challenge?”

Nick snorted out a laugh before turning serious. “It was all a challenge but my life’s greatest joy and anguish came from raising the kids. With their every triumph and failure my heart would either burst with pride or implode.” A tear came to Nick’s eye. “When they were little, a scrapped knee, a fever, it was as if it were happening to me. And later, school, dating, I worried so for them. I often wondered if they had someone like you...”

“I don’t know, Nick. But if they ever needed a friend like me they could find one.”

“Like I found you?”

“Do you remember that night?” Zolton asked.

Nick knuckled a tear away, a smile framing his eyes. “I will never forget it. I knew there was something hiding in my closet, I heard it growl. It wasn’t loud enough to wake everyone up and I was so scared I couldn’t even scream. It came for me, I could hear its claws on the wood floor. When I backed into the corner of my bed and felt you behind me I nearly jumped out of my skin.”

Zolton grinned. “I remember. And what was the first thing I said to you?”

“Don’t worry, there’s safety in numbers.”Zolton said, “And wasn’t I right?”

“Yup, we built a fort with pillows and with you curled up next to me, I slept like a newborn. If I close my eyes I can still draw in that feeling of comfort. Say, do you know why I named you Zolton?

Zolton shook his head.

“Because I thought it sounded powerful, scary powerful. Nick slapped Zolton’s knee. “Say, do you remember that time Burdick showed up at the playground?”

“I think so,” Zolton said.

“The time the thunderstorm blew in?”

“How could I forget.” Zolton said.

“I think you were over playing on the monkey bars and I was on the swings when him and that Colman kid came out of nowhere.”

“Was it Colman? I thought it was Dogin and Burdick.” Zolton said.

“You’re right, you’re right, it was Dogin.”

“I never understood why you were in such a panic.” Zolton said.

“Then you must not have heard the stories about them forcing Timmy Winters to eat dirt. I actually ate some to see how bad it was, it taste terrible.”

“Maybe you just had some bad dirt.” Zolton said and laughed.

Nick frowned. “Anyhow, they must have come out of the bushes because the next thing I know they’re standing right in front of the swings. Well, Burdick gets that real nasty look on his face and says. Where is your friend? The invisible one.

When he started laughing, you know, that evil laugh he had, I knew right away I was in trouble. But instead of running I looked him straight in the eye and said. You mean my friend, Zolton? Both of them start cackling like a couple of hyenas. When I told them you were standing so close you could poke their eyes out Dogin must have jumped three feet off the ground.”

Zolton cringed, “That was pretty mean.”

“Served them right,” Nick said. “Anyhow, I could see they were scared but I knew if I didn’t come up with something else it would wear off. Behind them, off in the distance I saw the sky turning dark as night as the thunderstorm approached. Burdick took a step to the right, Dogin a step to the left and I could tell they were getting ready to pounce. I backed up a few steps, kept my eye on the clouds and shouted. Don’t believe in Zolton, huh? I saw a flash of lightening, it was quite a ways off so I knew I had a few seconds before we’d hear the rumble of thunder. I held my fist to the sky and yelled. Speak to them Zolton, let them feel your might. At that instant there was a rumble of thunder you could feel. They both stopped dead in their tracks and stared wide eyed at each other. The wind was beginning to pick up and I began doing a voodoo dance, you know, rolling my eyes around in my head, shuffling my feet, twitching my arms and hands. Without warning I jabbed my fist toward the sky and screamed. Feel Zolton’s power. I must have done this three times before a blinding flash of lightning lit the sky followed instantly by a deafening clap of thunder.”

Zolton doubled over in laughter, Nick doing the same.

Nick caught his breath. “I never saw anyone run that fast before, or since.”

“Remember how hard it rained?” Zolton asked. “By the time we got back to your house we were soaked.”

“And cold.” Nick added

“I remember your mom made us some nice warm tomato soup and some sandwiches.”

“That’s before she got an attitude about you, back then she still thought you were cute.”

They sat for a moment, eating popcorn and drinking soda.

Zolton wiped his mouth with his shirttail, “When I showed up, how did you know it was me knocking on the door?”

“I saw you in the grocery store parking lot the other day, I knew it was just a matter of time before you came to see me.”

“Did you ask yourself why, why now?”

Nick chuckled. “I knew I was coming down with something, it’s funny but somehow I knew it was bad.”

“How are you feeling now, Nick?”

Nick craned his neck from sided to side, stood up and stretched in an exaggerated fashion. “Never felt better in my life. Actually I feel like going for a walk. What do you say?”

Zolton stood, “Great.”

Nick walked to the door and peered through the screen, “Good Lord, is it bright outside.”

“Where would you like to go?” Zolton asked.

Nick showed a toothy smile. “Could we go see my Grandpa Bill and Grandma?”

“Sure. I figured you’d want to see them, they’re expecting a visit.”

“You’ll come with me, won’t you Zolton? You know they always had a special place in their heart for you.”

Zolton opened the door and took Nick’s hand in his. “Of course my friend, of course.”

The end