What is your opinion?
Haunted Mansion
"At first I was curious why the names and plot were familiar and I could somehow picture the scenes. This is the Haunted Mansion starred by Eddie Murphy. "
Mysteriously Amazing Story
"I really enjoyed reading this story, and although it wasn't on my reviewing list I felt like I had to leave a review either way. As a big fan of mystery and romance, this was an absolute delight to read. I truly enjoyed reading this story and that little creepiness that was added in between the mystery. Just a bit more unsettling than you would expect. Really, a great piece of writing and I can't wait for the next update. However, as amazing as this story is so far, I'd like to explain why I rated the writing style 3 stars instead of 5. Though I loved the story, there was a bit of storytelling that seemed to lack. The description was well done and immersive, the characters were interesting and understandable, yet I couldn't fully get into the story whenever I read it. Now, let me explain why I personally believe this is the case. Although the story doesn't lack well-done descriptions, what it does are the elements that show a story rather than tell. In my experience, the story was mostly told. It was as if someone was narrating what was going on. The constant switch in point of view didn't help much either (I'll get to that later). For example, whenever Sarah's full name was used instead of just her name or 'she' or 'her'. In sentences like 'And that is when Sarah Evers realized...' it sounds really distant. A lot of descriptions that would usually allow for the reader to walk along the character was also written in a narrative voice. Many times when talking about feelings or emotions I couldn't feel them, couldn't connect with them. I felt like I was told what to feel because the character was feeling it, and I'd prefer to feel it because I'm too immersed to think otherwise. What also kept me from really getting into the story was that there was no clear POV, and when there was, there would be a little paragraph of someone else's thoughts and the spell would be broken. Even in third person, you still got to keep to one person at a time. If we are following Sarah and her thoughts, we don't know what Edward is thinking, we can't possibly know because Sarah doesn't know. If you want to switch to Edward's POV that is of course allowed, with either the start of a new chapter or chapter break, but that means we do NOT know what Sarah is thinking at that exact same time unless the scene is repeated in her POV, but again, after either a chapter break or at the start of a new chapter. Think of it like this; everyone is their own person, and unless they have the ability to read someone else's mind, they can't possibly know or hear the other's thoughts. In the little paragraph where we get a small glimpse of what Edward is thinking, while really we are following Sarah's experience, we get information that Sarah doesn't know and doesn't act upon. So what does it really add at that moment? It only gets more confusing than clear. Rather than putting in that little paragraph, you could have given Edward his own POV, explaining what he thought when he saw her, his excitement when she was all he remembered, and we get to know him in a much more personal way than that a single slipped-in-between-paragraph could ever explain. I hope this is helpful to you, and I mean in no way to discourage you. These are the things that I noticed while reading and what I think you could improve on. The story overall is amazing and I really like the plot, characters and everything else about it. I was just a little sad that I couldn't really get into it as much as I wanted, and I hope this helps you grow as a writer. Whether you do something with it or not is up to you, but in any case, I hope you continue on writing. This story can become so great, I truly believe that, and I wish you all the luck in the world with it. Keep up the writing and never stop being amazing! Can't wait for the next update!"
Amazing!
"I love the suspense and the the strong plot of reincarnation between two lovers and the power pull with her current life and her past life ."
