01 // Something Something Girl Problems
I have problems. Relationship problems. I’ve been having trouble hooking up with the female gender for a while now. I don’t know if said girl in the relationship likes me or-
“Dear god this is terrible!” I crumbled up the paper and threw it behind my bed. My floor and bedroom is covered with this mess. I felt like girls didn’t really understand me, at all.
I tipped my head back in my chair and gave out a sigh. Even though I could see it from upside down, I couldn’t help but notice all the crumbled papers on my bed. There must’ve been at least 20 of them I had crumbled up. All of them had a title too, “This thing called girls”, “memories I really don’t feel like talking about”, “I’m too lazy to do this but I’ll write it anyway”, etcetera. A lot of them did sound cringy.
I couldn’t help but think about what happened during my four years of high school with my relationships. I dated three different girls. One was a short term relationship, while the other two were more on the long term side. I sighed as I took out another piece of notebook paper, ripping it from its pages as I began to write.
Relationships, I honestly have no idea how to describe them. Like, seriously, I have no idea how to describe these at all. Coming from a guy who pretty much has these relationships with females, I can’t help but-
“Let’s try that again.” I crumpled up the paper and threw it from behind me once more. I tore out another piece of blank notebook paper and looked at it. “Hopefully this works!” I placed the pencil down onto the paper and wrote once again for the billionth time in a row.
Something something girl problems. That’s all I’m going to say for right now. I don’t even know where to start, but I might as well begin. I dated three different girls throughout my four years of high school: Renee, Furlise, and Brinsley. I’m just going to say this, my relationship with Renee was the quickest relationship that I’ve ever been in during my life.
I met her during the middle of my ninth year in high school, and we pretty much had the same things in common. And when I mean by same things, I mean like movies and video games. We started to hang out and get to know each other, even to where she invited over to play some Assassins Creed at her place. We went as far as hand holding and kisses on the cheek and sometimes on the lips. To be honest though, ninth grade was a pretty pure year for me. But anyway, Renee and I broke up since we didn’t really have anything else in common. Plus, there were other things going on in her life too that caused her to get stressed out and didn’t want to be in a relationship because of it. Sad, I know. Our relationship only lasted for eight weeks. I was devastated by the relationship ending but quickly moved on with it since we didn’t really get along that well. It felt like more of a friendship relationship than an actual romantic relationship.
I read over it and couldn’t help but think about Renee. It was for a brief moment, then I forgot about and it and simply moved on. It did feel like a friendship more than a relationship. I moved the paper down and continued writing.
Furlise was quite an interesting girl. We lasted for about six months before breaking up. We pretty much hung out after I got caught with porn from my phone during chemistry class. It was in tenth grade, and one of my old friends decided to send me a link. Little did I realize that it was porn. Even worse, when I clicked on the link, the audio play aloud for everyone to hear. God, it was embarrassing as hell.
+++
“I can’t believe you did that!” I looked at Reginald, who was busy laughing his ass off because of what he did.
“Sorry man, I just had to!” Reginald placed his hand onto my back, patting it gently.
“Well thanks to you,” I moved his hand away from my back, “I now have to chat with Mrs. Lockes about this thing.”
He chuckled then let out a sigh. “Good luck with that Pax-”
“Mister Heine!” Mrs. Lockes voice echoed from the door and into the hallway as I turned to look at her. “Do come in, we need to talk about...this.” She held up my phone with her hand as I got off of Reginald and walked on over to see her.
Reginald called out. “Good luck!”
I turned, looked at him and simply mouthed the words “Fuck you”. I was going to flip him off too, but I simply decided not to do so. Though when I mouthed the words to Reginald, his face showed a shocking expression, then he just shrugged and walked off.
“So,” I looked at her, “you wanted to talk Mrs. Lockes?”
“Yes, do come in.” She opened the door to the room as I walked inside. I took notice of a girl sitting at the front of the room where Mrs. Lockes’s desk was at. Beside her was another empty chair. I couldn’t help but take notice of the girl. Her cream colored skin, long blonde hair and green-blue eyes were stunning to look at. She was beautiful.
Mrs. Lockes directed me to sit right in the empty chair, which I did. She walked over to her desk, sat down in the chair, and placed my phone onto the desk.
“Now,” Mrs. Lockes looked at me, “mind telling me as to what happened exactly?”
“For starters,” I began to explain, “it wasn’t me. It was Reginald. He linked it to me through my Gmail account and I clicked on the link thinking it was some cute video, but what I got instead was very loud porn.”
“I see,” The girl stated, “so he sent you the link by Gmail.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Okay Paxon, all I need from you is the proof and you’d be good to go.” Mrs. Lockes slid my phone towards me as I grabbed it, type in the code, and then went to my Gmail. I scrolled until I finally saw the personal email that Reginald had sent me.
The girl beside me didn’t say anything, she just twiddled her thumbs back and forth. I gave my phone to Mrs. Lockes and she read the message silently, then she slid it back to me and smiled.
The girl looked up and looked at my phone then to Mrs. Lockes. “So?”
“Well, you’re good to go Paxon. I’ll be talking to Reginald about this incident. Go ahead and leave.” Mrs. Lockes gave the approval as the girl and I got up from our seats and exited out of the classroom.
++++
“By the way, the name’s Furlise.” The girl stated this to me as she held out her hand for me to shake it. I did so and introduced myself.
“The name’s Paxon. Paxon Heine.”
Furlise chuckled. “Cool. Hey, maybe we can hang out or something like that. If you want to.”
I stopped walking and looked at her. “....Maybe we should get to know each other first. Don’t you think that’s a good idea? And besides, I don’t know what hobbies and stuff you like so far.”
Furlise looked at me, her body language to me seemed to be mad at me. I’ll admit, I did sound a bit rude towards her. Then again, I barely know her so there’s that too. It took a minute for her body language and posture to change as she looked at me and let out a small sigh. “Okay. Fine.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Fine what?” I spat back at her as we continued walking. “Do you not want to get to know each other or-”
“Maybe if you weren’t suddenly acting like an asshole after what I did back there to help you.” Furlise responded back to me while combing her fingers through her hair.
“I wouldn’t say that you,” I paused for a brief moment then continued, “well, in a way, you kind of helped me. But, at the same time, not really.”
A slight smile was on Furlise’s face as she looked at me. “I’ll just say that I helped you. How’s that?”
Before I could respond, my eyes took notice of a dark blue car coming our way. I pointed over to it, “Is that your ride?”
“Yep!” Furlise waved her hands like a distress signal as the car came to a halt by the sidewalk. “I gotta go, bye!” And with that, she made her way to the car and opened the door, then shut it from behind.
I’ll admit, Furlise was right. I was sounding like an asshole to her. God, I felt like such an idiot for acting like that.
As I was making my way home, it felt like I was repeatedly facepalming myself on the head. All this due to the fact that the way I acted towards her made me feel regretful.
+++
As the weeks went by, Furlise and I started to get to know each other more. After the whole porn incident thing, I figured that was not a way for us to know one another. We both got it over that situation, that and I broke off my friendship with Reginald during those weeks as well. Soon enough, the more and more the days went by, the more we started to connect with one another.
+++
It was one night that Furlise and I were walking out of the gas station, laughing about how amazing it was for us inside there. No, we didn’t have sex, we were just trashing the place.
“HEY!” A loud voice boomed from the gas station. “You kids come back here and clean this mess up!”
“Shit shit shit shit shit!” Furlise grabbed my arm and the two of us took off running. We were in a fit of laughter, and I can’t blame her. I never expected to be dating someone who had the crazy idea of trashing a gas station.
“How about hiding over there?” I pointed over to the bushes as we made our way behind it to hide.
Furlise looked at me with a bit of concern in her eyes. “Think they’ll spot us?”
“Dammit! I lost them!” The gas station worker’s voice could be heard from afar. I moved my head up to see what he was doing. The worker looked around for a moment more, only to go back inside the store.
“Nope.” I turned around to see Furlise again as I propped my bottom back down onto the ground. “We’re good to go.”
“Thank goodness.” Furlise smiled. “This was quite the fun adventure.”
“That’s because you came up with the idea.” I replied and we both laughed again. “So, what do you want to do—”
Furlise’s lips pressed against mine in a quick movement before backing away. “Crap, I am so sorry about that.”
I move my face closer to hers. “It’s fine.” And I kissed her back. She did the same, only a bit more harder. That was when we started making out. Tongues moving in and out, her lips biting mine for a brief moment, it all felt surreal. My mind felt like it was going numb, I wanted more. Much, much more.
I backed away from her lips and moved down to kiss her cheek, chin, making my way down to her neck. My hands couldn’t help but move lower and lower, going from her back to wanting to cup her abdomen and—
There was a sudden push as I fell onto the ground and landed on my back. It was painful. “What the fuck?” I propped myself back up to look at Furlise, I was pissed.
“Sorry, it’s just-” Furlise covered her mouth in silence for a moment while looking at me, “look, I-I don’t think I’m ready for this.” Her hands made a back and forth motion towards the two of us.
I had a concerned look on my face. “You’re not ready to have sex?”
“Yeah. I just don’t want to beget pressured into it by you. Plus, we’ve only been together for a month. You’re moving things too fast, Paxon.” Furlise replied as I nodded my head, agreeing with her.
“Okay.” I stood up from behind the bushes and brushed myself off. “We’ll go slow, just kissing.”
Furlise propped herself up and walked over to me. “And making out.” She kissed my cheek, only to avert her eyes back towards me. “If. . .that’s okay with you.”
“It’s fine.” I reply. “Now come on, we should go.” I grab her hand as we make our way out of the bushes and begin to make our way back out onto the road.
+++
Furlise and I were both going strong. The two of us were always together and had a pretty good relationship. We were about eight months into our relationship, and Furlise decided to take me over to her house to talk. Little did I know what was going to come next.
+++
“So, what did you want to talk about?” I glanced over at her sitting at the desk. Furlise turned her chair over towards me and moved closer.
“Well, for starters,” Furlise began, “I’m glad you decided to come over to my house so I can talk to you.”
“Okay. But,” I was fiddling with my thumbs, thinking about what to say next, “you brought me here for a reason. Just tell it to me, please.”
Furlise sighed and began to speak, “I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?”
She motioned her hands back and forth between me and her. “Us.”
I pressed my fingers towards my temples and got up from her bed. I started to pace myself around the area for a bit, just thinking about it all.
“Look,” Furlise began, “I’m-”
“No no no. Don’t even start to say sorry to me.” I was pissed, aggravated, stressed, all the above I just couldn’t believe this, it felt unreal. “I can’t believe you, you brought me all the fucking way over here and for what? Just to break up? Are you tired of our relationship or-”
“Yes!” Furlise got up from her chair and pulled me closer to her. “I’m tired of this, okay. I’m sick and tired of us!”
I pushed her off of me. “Why are you touching me? You’re not even my girlfriend anymore. And why are you tired of us? At first we were all loving and happy about this relationship and now you’re tired? Why?”
Silence. Furlise didn’t speak at all.
“Tell me, Furlise. Please.” I replied, my tone sounding like I was begging for an answer.
“I-”
There was a knock at the front of her bedroom door. My eyes averted over to the doorknob. “I’ll get it.” That’s when I opened the door and saw who it was.
“Um, hi.” It was a guy, I didn’t know him at all. “I’m here for Furlise.”
That’s when it hit me. I turned back towards Furlise, then to the guy. “I’ll let you two be alone.” I pushed the guy out of the way and ran downstairs, to the door, and left her house.
I don’t even know if Furlise was calling for me to come back, because I could feel the tears starting to run down my face while I was running.
+++
Furlise broke up with me. We dated for eight months, and then we broke up. All because she cheated. As I’m writing this, my mind keeps going back to when I was fifteen, and finding out that my mom cheated. It’s been three years since I’ve last seen or heard from her. Transitioning over from 9th grade to 10th grade, then dating a cute girl, only to be cheated on sucks. Ever since that breakup, I removed Furlise’s contact.
Going from 10th to 11th grade seemed to be even more rough. Summer during that time was slightly disappointing—for better or worse. But then came Brinsley, a girl who I met by helping out with getting her locker to open. Simple start, sure, but there was something about her that made it all worthwhile.
+++
“Come on, come on…”
I was in the hallways and could hear a faint voice, followed by some yelling, kicking, and screaming.
“Where’s that noise coming from?” My good friend, Devonte, asked.
“I’m guessing it’s from the lockers.” I replied.
“Or some girl raging during her menstrual cycle.” Devonte gave a blunt response. I said nothing.
“I’m pretty sure it is the lockers.” I stated back. “Let’s see what the fuss is about.” Devonte and I began making our way over to the lockers.
Devonte stopped in his tracks. “There.” He pointed towards the girl at the very far end of the hall. “Her locker must be stuck.”
“Obviously, dumbass.” I muttered under my breath. I made my way over to the girl and her locker. “Need help?”
She took notice of me and backed away from the locker. “Go ahead.”
The first thing I did was ask for her combination in order to bust it open. She told it to me as I began to do the code and jerk the locker handle. It took about three tries before it completely opened. “There you go.”
“Thanks.” The girl pushed her hair to the side as she looked at me. She looked stunning. The way her hazel eyes and dark brown hair glowed, her cream colored skin and outfit going together. It was perfect.
“So,” I began, “I’m guessing that based on that accent of yours, you’re from-”
“Australia?” The girl replied. “Yep! The one and only place that’s down under. The name’s Brinsley by the way.” She held out her hand as I shook it.
“Nice to meet you, Brinsley. The name’s Paxon. And behind me is Devonte, he’s a good friend of mine.” I replied back. Devonte went over to Brinsley and also began to shake her hand.
“What’s up?” Devonte replied. “The name’s Devonte. I’m quite the charmer, if you get what I mean.”
“If you mean by not getting any girls, then sure. Say that.” I look at Devonte with a slight grin on my face. He punched me in the arm after I said that.
“Nice to meet you, Devonte.” Brinsley responded as she let go of his hand. “Well now, if you two excuse me, my ride is out front. I’ll catch you guys, say, another time?”
Devonte and I agreed that we should all meet up again. Brinsley said her goodbyes and moved past us, making her way down the steps and out of the school building.
“So,” I turned to look at Devonte, “what now?”
Devonte grinned at me. “I have the perfect idea.”
+++
After meeting Brinsley, there was something about her that just made me wonder—what was she like? She’s Australian, I know that. But I wanted to start getting to know her more. I didn’t want to repeat the whole Furlise thing, seeing how it didn’t do so well after that.
Devonte decided to take ourselves over to some cafe, and I didn’t know why he took me there. I remember he was flirting with some of the waitresses, which made me feel slightly uncomfortable since they’re older than he is. That, and the fact that Brinsley was there.
Meeting Brinsley again for a second time after I helped her out with her locker made me nervous. Due to the fact that I barely knew her, Devonte assumed that I liked her, etcetera. Needless to say, when I went over to see her at the table, it didn’t actually turn out as bad as I imagined it would be.
+++
“So, you look nice.” I replied, eyeing at Brinsley from head to toe.
Brinsley chuckled for a moment. “Are you flirting with me, Paxon?”
“No.” My tone went serious. “If I was flirting with you, then it’d require me to say some cheesy pickup lines.”
“That’s true.” Brinsley took a sip of her drink while I did the same with mine.
“So, what made you move from Australia to the U.S?” I questioned.
“New job.” Brinsley replied. “My dad had applied for this big job online and after doing the interview and all, he made it in. It was located in the states, so we had to pack our bags and move all the way over here. I’ve been living here for about a year and a half now.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
Brinsley nodded her head in agreement. “Yep! I have an older brother, he’s 30, and he’s moved to another country with his fiance and is settling there. So it’s just myself, my mom and my dad all living here. What about you?”
“Only child.” I began. “My parents got divorced when I was 15, so it’s been a bit of a rough time for me to get through. I’ve been trying to get over it for a while now.”
A frown laid upon Brinsley’s face. “Sorry to hear that. Hey, if you need someone to talk to, you could reach out to me for advice.”
I chuckled a bit. “You’re making it sound like you’re going to be my therapist or something like that.”
Brinsley raised her eyebrow. “Is there a problem with that?”
“No.” I could feel myself grinning a bit more. “Not at all.”
“Alright then.” Brinsley reached to grab something and from her bag as she placed it down onto the table. It was her phone.
“Let me guess,” I look directly at her, “you want me give you my phone number.”
She nodded her head as I grabbed her phone and typed in my contact information.
“Thanks.” Brinsley responded, taking her phone back from me. “Want me to do the same with yours?”
I reached inside my pocket, got my phone out, and went into contacts.“Go ahead.” I slid my phone across her way as she began typing.
“Thanks.” Brinsley replied. It took a few minutes, but I didn’t get why it was taking her so long.
“Are you done with adding your contact into my phone?” I asked.
Brinsley put my phone down and slid it over back to me. “Yep.”
I grabbed my phone back and placed it inside my pocket once again. My eyes went from looking at my pocket to looking at Brinsley, a small grin laying on her face. “What’s making you so happy?”
“I’ll admit,” Brinsley’s smile went even wider, “I may have decided to look at your other contacts.”
As soon as she said that, there was this sudden instinct telling me to just get up from my chair and hit her. All because she was looking through my contacts. I thought about it and realized that it’d make me feel like an asshole.
“I’ll let you slide with it.” I replied.
“Okay, dad.” Brinsley responded back, grinning. Man, the way I said it did make me sound like a dad.
My cheeks went red with embarrassment, knowing what I just said. “I-”
“Someone’s embarrassed.” Brinsley’s tone went sing-songy as she said it.
“I think you should stop or else you’re going to make me even more red.” I responded, the red from my cheeks fading away.
Something tapped me on the back as I turned around to see who it was: Devonte.
“Hey.” Devonte spoke. “Looks like you and Brinsley over here are in good hands. I’ll leave you two to it.” He turned around to walk away but I stopped him.
“Where are you going?”
Devonte turned back around to look at me. “Home. I have work and stuff to do back at my house. Besides, Brinsley might just have a car. Right?”
“Yep.” Brinsley reached into her bag and got out her keys. “I have one.”
“Thanks.” I replied back. Devonte said his goodbyes and left the cafe. I got up from my chair and so did Brinsley.
“Alright then, let’s go!” Brinsley began to make her way over to the exit as I followed her from behind.
+++
“Want me to turn on something?” Brinsley had a curious expression on her face.
“Just drive me home,” I turned to look at her, “okay?”
Her face went into a frown. “Oh, okay.”
“Wait! You can turn on something. Anything that sounds good to you.” I replied.
“Awesome!” Brinsley moved her fingers on the radio dial, the song blasting in the car. I motioned my hands over towards Brinsley for her to turn it down, and she did just that.
“You know,” I began, “I never expected you to be listening to this old music.”
“Hey!” Brinsley stated this to me, all while her eyes were on the road. “For your information, I think the Rolling Stones are an amazing band. Besides, my dad made me grow up on old music, but as I got older, I did embrace the newer side of things. I still do enjoy new music, but listening to some oldies just reminds me of him.”
“Ah, I see.” I replied. “That’s a pretty nice thing to cherish when thinking of your dad, especially with how much you miss him.”
Brinsley was almost at my house, I began telling her directions with which way to get to the front of my home. “What about you?”
My expression went confused. “What do you mean?” As I said this, Brinsley parked the car across the front of my house’s driveway. After that, she turned down the radio and looked at me.
“What I mean is, just like how I have something that reminds me if someone,” Brinsley spoke, “I wonder if you have one too. Look, what I’m wondering is whether you have something that reminds me of your mom.”
I went silent. It felt impossible to think of something that reminded me of her. I was starting to suddenly feel this anger, thinking back to the affair that my mother had. “I have to go.” That was all I said as I unlock the car door, opened it, and went from the car to making my way inside the house.
+++
That was the feeling: anger. I felt angered with all these other thoughts in my head, from the affair my mother had to the breakup I went through with Furlise. All this made me feel distrust towards Brinsley. During the weeks that we spent time talking and getting to know each other, I felt angered as soon as I got home after those talks. Hell, Brinsley could tell something was wrong with me, but I shook it off as if nothing was wrong with me at all.
Eventually, I decided to tell Brinsley about why I felt upset in the first place.
+++
The door opened up instantly as Brinsley came out. Her hair was wrapped up in a ponytail and she was wearing a yellow tank top and khaki shorts. Thankfully, there was a bra underneath it. “What’s up?”
“We need to talk. Or rather, I need to talk to you.” I pointed to the inside of where she was standing. “Mind if I come in?”
Brinsley let out a sigh and motioned her hands for me to get inside the house with her. She closed the door from behind as soon as she let me in. I sat down on the couch, waiting for her to come over.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Brinsley asked, making her way over to the couch. I’ll admit it, the way her hips swung back and forth going over to the couch made me slightly aroused.
“Okay, look,” I began, “you want to know the reason why I felt angered all the time during and after those talks? It’s because I felt distrust and-”
“Are you saying that you don’t trust me?” Brinsley’s tone went bitter, interrupting me. “Not only have we’ve been getting to know each other, but I’m trying to help you. And that’s been for how long, about a month now?”
“Let me finish.” I responded, glaring at her. “I said that I felt distrust towards you. I kept thinking back to the affair my mother had and the breakup that my old girlfriend, Furlise, and I had. I felt this anger and distrust towards you because I didn’t know how it’d be if we got together. That, and whether or not I could trust you.”
Brinsley looked at me, her face was slightly flushed. “Oh, so that’s what you meant.” She paused for a moment and moved her body closer to me. “Wait, you want us to be together?”
I thought back to what I said and nodded my head in agreement, looking at Brinsley. “Y-yeah.”
A smile came upon her face. “Well, do you want to be my boyfriend?”
I retracted back. “Don’t you think we should get to know one another first?”
Brinsley nodded. “Yeah, we should. It’s definitely a good idea to do this before we pash and cop a root.”
A confused look fell on my face. “What does that-”
“Pash is another way to say kissing, cop a root is another way to say having sex.” Brinsley responded, interrupting me. “I seriously need to teach you some Aussie slang, mate.”
A light chuckle escaped my throat. “Yeah, you really should teach me. But, I should get going.” I began to get myself off of the couch as Brinsley did the same.
Brinsley let out a small sigh. “I guess all is forgiven then?”
I nodded my head, agreeing with the statement. “Yep. Seriously, sorry about that whole ordeal. It was my fault for causing you to feel that way.”
“It’s fine, no trouble at all.” Brinsley went over to the door and opened it for me. I thanked her as I began to make my way out. But then, I stopped in my tracks.
“Wait,” I began, “think we’ll see each other again, tomorrow?” I turned back to glance at her, she looked down on the floor, and her expression was definitely teasing.
“Yeah.” Brinsley went from looking at the floor to looking at me. “That’s fine by me.”
I couldn’t help but grin. “Well then, I hope to see you around.” I said goodbye and walked out of Brinsley’s house, the door shutting from behind me.
We’ve only met for a month, and my mind keeps telling me to wait. It’s right. I do need to wait, otherwise I don’t know how our relationship is going to go.
+++
Somehow that month turned into two, then three, then four. Brinsley and I went to see each other every day of the week after school hours to talk about personal issues and getting to know one another more.
Within those months, our friendship turned into a relationship. Brinsley confessed to me how she truly felt, and I did the same. And it felt like the right time, because it was the perfect time. The first time we kissed was not at her place, but mine. It was a study date we had and that’s when she kissed me all of a sudden, and I did it back.
During the summer, we hung out and I got introduced to her friends and I introduced her to some of my old friends. It was a bit awkward, but still quite enjoyable.
The next and final year for me came. We were still dating, going strong for several months. It wasn’t until one day when we did something, and I didn’t know how to feel after that.
+++
I knocked on the door, multiple times. “Come on, come on.”
“I’m coming!” The muffled sound of Brinsley’s voice was heard. I ran my hands through my dark hair, trying to keep it from looking terrible.
The door opened and it was Brinsley. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Her black dress and heels went well with the silver bracelets and necklace she was wearing. Her dark brown hair was down, and her hazel eyes looked back at me.
“You ready to go?” I questioned.
“Of course.” Brinsley held out her hand as I grabbed it, bringing her down from the small step and over to my side.
Brinsley’s mother came over to see the both of us. “Awh, look at you two! I’m so proud that my daughter has someone to take to prom with.” Her eyes went watery, on the verge of tears. “I’m so happy for you, Brinny bear!”
Brinsley’s cheeks went red with embarrassment. “Mom, please, you’re embarrassing me.” Her eyes went to look at me, I was holding back from bursting into laughter.
“It’s fine.” I stated. “No worries.”
“Well, make sure you two stay safe tonight, alright? Be back here by at least midnight.” Brinsley’s mom responded. It wasn’t pitch black dark outside, so we had plenty of time.
“Got it.” I responded back as I grabbed Brinsley’s hand and we began to walk on the sidewalk, heading to my house where my car is.
“Sorry about that.” Brinsley said.
“I don’t get why you’re apologizing.” I stated. “It’s fine, brinny bear.”
That was when Brinsley gave me a small slug in the arm and man, did it hurt.
“Don’t ever call me that again.” She replied. I was trying not to laugh.
“Well, I can’t help it.” I stated. “It’s a decent nickname.”
The two of us kept walking until we found my car. It was parked on the outside of the sidewalk by the driveway to my house. It wasn’t there before, so it made it obvious that my Dad parked it there.
Brinsley couldn’t help but be in awe of it, hell, I’m still in awe of it too. It was dark crimson red with black leather seats on the inside.
“Wow, this is a nice car.” Brinsley looked at me. “Your dad seems pretty cool to be giving you this car.”
“Yeah, technically, I have two cars. The other one is inside the garage.” I stated, pointing at the garage.
“What’s the other car for?” Brinsley asked.
“It-”
“It’s for any kind of trip that my son wants to take with his friends.” That voice. I looked to see my Dad, getting up from the porch chair with the keys in his hand. “Hello, Paxon.”
“Hey Dad.” I replied.
“Hi, Mister Heine!” Brinsley replied, waving at him. My dad began to make his way down from the porch to see us.
“Sorry about that.” My dad replied. “I believe you’re looking for these.” He held up the keys right in front of my face as I grabbed them out from his hands.
“Thanks.” I responded. “Dad, you already know Brinsley, I don’t need to introduce you two again.”
“I know that.” He replied. “Anyway, just make sure that you come back here safe and sound. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
“Okay.” I stated. “Come on, Brinsley, let’s go.” I made my way over to the car, Brinsley followed from behind. I began to unlock the doors and the two of us went inside. I was in the driver’s seat, and Brinsley was in passenger.
As I began to place the key in the ignition and turned the car on, Brinsley looked at me. “I’m surprised you didn’t hug your Dad back there.”
I briefly looked back her to respond. “It’s complicated, somewhat. Let’s just say that there are the days where I do care about him and the days that I don’t.”
“Oh. Okay then.” Brinsley’s voice sent quiet as I started to drive from the sidewalk and go onto the road.
For the rest of the trip there, the two of us remained silent.
+++
I lost track of time after we finished with prom. All I know was that I had a hell of a good time with Brinsley and everybody else that was there. And we slow danced together, and I felt happy, knowing how much I truly cared about Brinsley. But, I just wanted more. I wanted to take things to the next level.
“So,” Brinsley looked at me with a bit of excitement in her eyes, “where to?”
“I know this pretty nice place we can go and stay at.” I stated this to her as I made my way over to the car, opening the door and getting in. “Want to go there?”
“Do we have the time?” Brinsley asked. “I was thinking maybe we should just go back home. More so, continue at your place.”
I don’t even know whether or not my dad was at home. “Sure, let’s go.”
Brinsley placed herself into the car and I turned on the ignition. We went back out onto the road again, this time making our way back to my house.
+++
“And we’re here!” I turned off the car’s ignition and unlocked the door, letting myself out. Brinsley did the same, on her side. I shut the door and made my over to the front of the house.
“I hope you have a house key.” Brinsley stated this while walking over to see me.
“I do.” I bend down to reach underneath the carpet of the front door to get the key.
“Ah, the good old fashioned under the door house key.” She responded back as I began to unlock the door and make my way inside. Brinsley followed and closed the door from behind.
I turned on the lights and looked around, letting out a sigh. “Ah, thank goodness my Dad isn’t home.”
Brinsley had a questioning look on her face. “Where do you think he’s at?”
I made my way over to the couch in the living room, untying my shoes. “Knowing him, he’s probably busy at a bar on the other side of town.”
“Huh.” Brinsley made her way over to sit beside me. “What does he do there?”
“Flirt with some of the women, make vulgar comments, gets drunk as fuck and then gets a ride home from some ‘friend’ of his.” I replied, my tone being angered and frustrated all at once. “It’s ridiculous. This pretty much became his routine when my dad’s brother, or my uncle, came to visit, bringing his girlfriend with him. This happened when I was sixteen, a year after my mom’s affair and the divorce. My dad heard about this cool restaurant slash bar in town, so we’d all agreed to go. When we got there, my dad requested to sit at the bar, while I, along with my uncle and his girlfriend, go eat together. My uncle was surprised by this, and so was I. I didn’t understand what the point of us eating separately instead of together like a family was about. During the time we were eating, I kept looking back at my dad at the bar. He was flirting with some other girl sitting, waiting for her drink.”
“What happened after that?” Brinsley questioned.
“Oh god, it was terrible.” I stated this, groaning in anger once again. “The girl’s boyfriend at the bar came back and that’s when things started to get ugly. My dad was drunk off his balls and angry at the boyfriend. He started saying all these vulgar and obscene things, which ended up getting everyone’s attention. That’s when the fight broke out between the two, and I felt even more uncomfortable. Seeing my father act like that in such a state made me feel frustrated and annoyed at him. Thankfully, my uncle broke up the fight and we all left the restaurant. He made the decision to drive the car this time, and his girlfriend was in the front too. Me? I was stuck in the back with my dad, and he completely passed out. See what I mean now?”
Brinsley nodded her head, agreeing with my statement. “I’m so sorry that this happened to you, Paxon. Thanks for being honest about it.” She placed her hand into mine, I squeezed it gently.
“No problem.” I looked at her, a small smirk creeped up onto my face in that moment. “No problem at all.”
Brinsley moved in closer and pressed her lips against mine. She backed away for a moment. “Sorry. Look, I-I was wondering if you want to…?”
“Yeah.” I replied, nodding my head. “I want to do this.”
“Then lay down.” Brinsley stated as I began to turn my body over sideways and slowly make my way down onto the couch. I propped my body at the end of the couch arm, and Brinsley placed herself down on top of me.
“You’re gorgeous.” I whispered softly as I began to wrap my arms around Brinsley’s neck and pulled her in close. “So gorgeous.”
We kissed again. Her lips meeting mine, the two of us feeling aroused and excited all at once. I moved down from her lips to her neck, making Brinsley let out a mixture of a chuckle and a moan. My hand reached over to the back of her dress.
“P-paxon…” Brinsley was saying my name, and we weren’t even naked and banging yet. I slowly pulled the zipper down on the dress and she stopped me. “Let me.” Brinsley pulled off the straps of her dress, letting the whole front half of her body be shown.
I pulled her back in and continued kissing her, from the tip of her nose to her collarbone, I wanted more. “Brinsley, Brinsley…”
“Pax, Paxon. I-” She suddenly pushed herself off of me and straightened herself out. I went from being blissful to pissed off.
“What the hell, Brinsley?” I asked.
“I can’t do this.” Brinsley responded. “Look, it’s just that-”
“I took you out, we had fun at prom, and we were going to have sex!” I stated. “And now you decide that you don’t want to do the deed? God, you’re reminding me of my other ex.” I looked to see Brinsley, she was on the verge of tears.
“Well,” Brinsley began, “at least I don’t cheat. At least I tried to help you with your problems, at least I got to know you more, at least I got to introduce you to my friends, at least I got to become your girlfriend for over a fucking year! Don’t compare me to someone that I’m not, because I’m not that girl. I’m not like your old exes, I’m not like your father, and I’m sure as hell not like your mother!”
I was silent. I didn’t know what to say. I felt so good and then I suddenly messed everything up again. “Why did you resist the sex?” That was all I could think of to say to her, I didn’t want to say something bad to her again.
“Because I feel pressured.” Brinsley replied. “I just felt this nerve kick in, telling me, ‘I shouldn’t be doing this’, over and over again. And, it’s right. We shouldn’t be doing this. It just doesn’t feel like the right time to have sex. Maybe some other time?”
“Yeah. Whenever you feel like it.” I replied. Brinsley thanked me and went over to the front door to leave.
“I’ll see you again soon.” She waved goodbye to me and exited out of the house, closing the door from behind.
+++
I remember thinking back around that time to what Brinsley said. See you again soon. Just that sentence. It was stuck in my brain, knowing that I’m going to see her again soon.
But somehow, those words she’d said to me went the complete opposite direction. There were times when I went to go see Brinsley, only to find out that either she was busy or doing something else. It felt like weeks went by anytime I tried to go and see her, but it was days. Anytime I called her, it went to voicemail. Anytime I texted her, she didn’t reply. Graduation was rounding the corner and I couldn’t see to hear back from her at all.
Finally, after two weeks of searching, I came across Brinsley. And I was furious. I began to argue with her, wondering where she had been and questioning whether or not she cheated on me. That’s when Brinsley argued right back at me. After that, our relationship tore apart.
I broke up with Renee due to us not having a lot in common and our personal lives getting in the way. Furlise broke up with me because she was tired of our relationship and she cheated. Brinsley broke up with me in a text.
When Furlise and I broke up, I was upset due to the entire thing. Brinsley was different. It made my heart hurt so bad, just to read the text from Brinsley. I stayed in my room and cried because I thought about our relationship as what it could’ve been, but it failed miserably. I still have Brinsley’s contact on my phone. I left it untouched for weeks now, not knowing whether or not I want to delete it.
There seems to be a problem with me when it comes to getting girls. I seriously need a girlfriend, but just the right one that I won’t argue with, actually stay committed to me and not cheat, just to name a few.
This problem with girls that I have needs help, serious help. And I have no clue how I’m going to do it.
***
“Perfect.” I placed my pencil down onto the desk and sighed. “Thirty pages is a new record, Paxon.”
A lot has happened. I graduated, I’m now eighteen, and I still have a problem with getting girls. Hopefully, some chick will come to me and be my girlfriend. Hopefully.
There was a knock on my bedroom door as I asked for them to come in. The door opened, and it was my Dad. “Hey, how’s my son doing? You ready for summer?”
“Dad,” I begin, “June isn’t for another week. But, then again, summer is right around the corner.”
“That’s right.” My dad smiled. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.” He began going back into the hallway, his sound schooling throughout the room. “Here’s to hoping that you have a plan for what to do this summer!”
“I do!” I yelled back. My eyes went back to looking at my desk. “Now then…”
I grabbed my notebook. I tore out another piece of paper and took out a pen. It was then that I wrote down in all caps: SUMMER PLANS: GET A GIRLFRIEND.
“This summer’s going to be quite interesting.” I thought. “Very interesting.”
