Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
Karen’s been standing at the bay window for an hour. Staring at the empty driveway. She folds her arms around herself, huffs and puffs, unfolds her arms again, then slaps her hands down against the window sill – cursing under her breath. It’s all very dramatic - a real show for what she thinks is an unseen performance but I’m watching. We haven’t met yet but I’m already fascinated by her mannerisms. Like the way she keeps tucking that annoying brown curl back behind her ear. There’s a certain immaturity about it.
‘Where are you?’
She’s talking about Gary. The boyfriend. I’m currently en-route to meet him but she doesn’t know that. Neither does Gary. He left early without waking her. Which is unusual because he’s unable to complete basic tasks, such as putting on trousers or opening doors without making ridiculous amounts of noise. According to Karen anyway. She was just telling her mum on the phone a few minutes ago. It’s part of his boyish charm – clumsy and blissfully unaware is how Karen’s mum described him. Karen used to think that too. She used to tell her friends how cute she thought this aspect of his personality was, but it’s been over a year since she’s made any similar comments on social media or through direct messaging.
‘Don’t do this to me Gary.’
The outdated phone vibrates on the bookshelf to her right. She snatches it up and holds it at head height - poised to pretend she’s not annoyed. It’s a video call from Jenny, her best friend, and not Gary. Karen slides a finger across the screen and Jenny’s perfect teeth appear.
‘Morning, Kaz. You excited about-’
‘Gary’s gone AWOL and I’m standing here like a crazy bitch.’
‘Maybe he’s gone to buy you a special prezzy?’
‘Ha.’
‘You don’t really think he’d forget your anniversary?’
‘Of-course he would. This is the same man who still masturbates in bed next to me when he thinks I’m asleep.’
‘Eww.’
‘I’ve been dropping hints all week, saying stuff like, “Do you remember on our first date when we went to that restaurant? Wouldn’t it be nice if we went back there?” Do you know what he said, Jen?’
Jenny’s pixilated head turns from side-to-side.
‘“I remember - that place with the chicken.” That’s all he said. Then he went back to his stupid computer game.’
Karen sits on the arm of the chair facing the window with Jenny still held at head height.
‘I bet he’s out planning your evening,’ Jenny says unconvinced.
Karen’s not listening.
‘He was supposed to stop playing computer games and have joined the gym by now. Given up beer, started drinking red wine. Artisan markets. City breaks. Where’s the sophistication I was promised, Jen?’
‘By who?’
’Life, Jen. My mum, books, every film with Hugh Grant in it!′
‘They’re all the same, Kaz. Gary has his computer games and my Benjamin has his work.’
‘Ben doesn’t spend his weekends on the sofa smoking weed and playing computer games, does he?’
‘Sometimes I have to pop my head into his office and say, “Hi Benjamin, remember me, your wife?”’
‘Yeah, but-’
‘I know this is cliché, Kaz, but you can’t change them. You knew what he was like when you moved in together.’
‘But it was different then. We did everything together.’
‘He’s had a rough couple of months though hasn’t he?’
Karen rolls her eyes, stands up and Jenny’s head bobs around in her hand.
‘Oh, I love the dress, Kaz.’
Karen looks down at the dress then takes a deep breath.
‘What a waste.’
‘Buying a beautiful dress is never a waste.’
‘I’ve made my decision. I’m going to leave him.’
‘Kaz. That’s a bit much.’
‘I mean it this time. I’m nearly thirty years old. My mum already had two kids by now and what have I got? An unemployed boyfriend with a beer belly and no prospects for the future – who can’t be bothered to remember the only anniversary we have!’
‘Well, if that’s how you feel.’
‘No, Jen, you’re supposed to lie and tell me everything’s going to be okay.’
‘I can’t do-’
‘I just want things to be the way they were.’
‘Before he lost his job?’
Karen looks away.
‘Is that so bad?’
‘No.’
They share a comfortable silence I presume only old friends can enjoy.
‘He might surprise you?’
‘Ha! Gary’s incapable of surprising me.’
Access Point: CCTV – Carpark – 26.08.2017
Gary’s in his Ford Focus fidgeting with the air-con. It’s early but the heat waves dance along the cheap metal frame work as it sits alone in a forgotten carpark. The dusty CCTV cameras hang their redundant, fully functional, heads from the sad looking grey lampposts - bowing above the nettle and weed entangled wire fences that run along the edges of the enclosure. A magpie eats something stringy off the floor. Gary doesn’t notice. He’s wriggling in his seat, looking over his shoulder, adjusting the mirrors, checking his phone, opening the glove compartment, turning the radio on and off. Clearly nervous, but why? Since receiving the email a month ago from The Better-Self Co-op, inviting him to be one of a hundred product testers, not once as he acquired any further knowledge concerning the cooperation, its origins or its members. He read the information within the email, glanced over the terms and conditions, the benefits, the possibilities - he’s told his online friends how it’s going to change his life for the better. But not once has he researched me – questioned The Better-Self Co-op about their methods or the other ninety-nine product testers which, in all truthfulness, don’t exist.
So why the nervous behaviour? Maybe I’ve mistaken nervousness for excitement? It’s a possibility - I’m still learning after all.
A solitary camera turns towards the open gates. Another remains pointed directly at Gary. As he pulls his sweaty t-shirt away from the sticky leather seat, movement catches his eye in the rear-view mirror. Gravel and dust sprays into the air some distance away along the road. Before it can settle, a red Hybrid bursts through the grey cloud into the carpark, speeding silently towards him. The car slows and performs a wide looping manoeuvre - stopping a metre from the rear of Gary’s car, facing back the way it came.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Dashboard – 26.08.2017
Gary’s knuckles whiten around the wheel – breath is held. His mobile device receives a notification. He swipes the screen: From all of us here at The Better-Self Co-op, we hope you enjoy your ICU experience.
Access Point: CCTV – Carpark – 26.08.2017
A thin arm appears from the driver’s window and a curved thumb signals towards the rear of the Hybrid. The boot opens. The long fingers belonging to the bare arm settle on the red door - drumming the metal.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Dashboard – 26.08.2017
Gary licks his sandpaper lips.
Access Point: CCTV – Carpark – 26.08.2017
The driver’s door opens, Gary exits his car and walks towards the back of the Hybrid. He sees it straight away. It’s the only thing in the boot. A black box, slightly smaller than a microwave. No labels. Logos. No clues to its contents. Gary thinks he knows but he’s wrong.
He pauses, looks over each shoulder - reaches inside and retrieves the box. The boot closes automatically and Gary heads back towards his sad looking vehicle.
The fingers stop drumming. The man in the Hybrid begins to speak but there’s no audio on the CCTV cameras.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Audio Only – Dashboard –26.08.2017
’I’ve no idea how you’ve managed this, they don’t tell me everything. But I’ll give you a free piece of advice, ’cause I’m a nice fuckin’ guy.’
Access Point: CCTV – Carpark – 26.08.2017
The fingers begin drumming again. A gust of wind whips tiny gravel particles between the vehicles, disturbing the emptiness – before the air returns to utter stillness. Gary spits dust onto the floor.
The drumming stops – the wing mirror moves automatically outwards until the Hybrid man’s piercing blue eyes fill the reflection – staring coldly at Gary.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Audio Only – Dashboard –26.08.2017
‘Be… better than you were.’
The engine whispers to life and the tyres of the Hybrid crunch on gravel as it rolls away across the carpark.
Access Point: CCTV – Carpark – 26.08.2017
Gary looks down at the box in his hand, pulling it a little tighter to his body. When he looks up again the Hybrid’s gone. He walks to his car, opens the passenger door, and places the box on the seat, gently sliding the seatbelt in position around it. Then he runs around to the driver’s seat and gets in. He looks over at the box. The box does nothing. He smiles at the box. The box does nothing. He places a hand on the box.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
Karen’s still talking to Jenny on the video call.
‘Why’ve you stayed with him for so long then?’
‘Great question, Jen. Answer, I’m pathetic.’
‘Kaz.’
‘I must be, no one else would stay with such an unromantic twerp unless they were somehow emotionally damaged.’
‘You don’t mean that. It can’t be that bad?’
‘If I told you, Jen, it would put you off your lunch.’
‘I’m a big girl, Kaz.’
Access Point: Laptop – Webcam – Bedroom – 20.08.2017
Gary’s lying on the bed, propped up against a heap of pillows, with his hands behind his head. The duvet’s below his waist and moving up and down.
‘That’s it, that’s it.’
He raises his fists in the air triumphantly, makes a weird squeaking noise, like a rusty bicycle chain changing gear, then farts as well. Karen emerges for breath.
‘Gary!’
He wraps the duvet around himself.
‘Thanks, babe.’
He pulls the duvet around himself, leaving Karen half naked on top of the bed, then forces an arm through the cocoon of duvet and switches the lamp off.
‘Seriously?’
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
‘Eww.’
‘I told you. Would Benjy ever do that to you?’
Jenny doesn’t reply but I know all about Benjamin.
Access Point: Electronic Devices – Bedroom – 14.08.2017
Jenny’s legs are wide open on the bed and Benjamin’s head is in-between them. Candlelight flickers around the room as she groans and wriggles.
‘That’s it, that’s…’
She twists the bedsheet in her right hand and crushes a pillow into her face with the left. Benjamin’s head remains between her legs as his hand slides towards her breast which he grabs roughly before wrapping his hand around her delicate pink throat. He squeezes - Jenny pushes the pillow aside, taps him gently on the hand. He releases his grip, kisses his way slowly upwards until he finds her soft lips.
‘Wow, that was amazing,’ he says.
He pulls the massive duvet around them both and snuggles in behind her.
‘What you doing? It’s your turn.’
‘Just relax. You’ve had a busy day.’
He leans over and blows the candle out.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
Karen sits on the arm of the chair. She doesn’t bother moving the brown curl dangling in front of her face.
‘What you going to do?’
Karen glances behind her towards the archway between rooms.
Access Point: iPad – Camera – Kitchen – 26.08.2017
There’s a wicker basket on the table filled with gifts for Gary. A six pack of Budweiser. The new Walking Dead boxset, a keyring with a picture of them both on from holiday last year and a game for his soon to be obsolete Playstation console.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
Karen springs to her feet.
‘He’s here.’
‘Call me.’
‘Okay.’
‘Good luck.’
‘Hmm.’
Karen turns Jenny’s head off and places the phone onto the bookshelf. She bends down, fingers the spines until she finds what she’s looking for; an old Stephen King book, Christine. She jumps on the sofa, tucking both feet under her bum, opens the book, about a third of the way in, signifying to Gary, Look, I’ve been here all morning, reading my book. Where’ve you been?
The front door opens then closes quietly.
‘Babe,’ he calls from the hallway.
‘I’m in here.’
As Gary enters the room holding the strange black box, Karen throws him a glance, so quick, undetectable to the human eye – and yet her facial expression just told me everything I needed to know about her current emotional state. Gary, however, seems oblivious to her controlled reaction which I find fascinating. All this time spent with each other and Gary still doesn’t understand Karen’s rightful need for attention.
‘Hi, babe. Guess what I’ve got?’
Karen doesn’t look up and thumbs over an unread page.
‘A paint brush?’
‘Eh?’
‘You know, for the kitchen which you promised to paint about six months ago.’
‘Did I? I don’t remember.’
‘Hmm.’
He shuffles a little further into the room and places the box down on the coffee table. Karen continues to pretend reading the book and Gary waits for eye contact.
‘Guess again.’
She slaps the book down onto her thigh and looks up at him.
‘Somehow inside that weird box, you’ve managed to squeeze in flowers, Cava, and possibly some of that dark chocolate with chilli flakes in, that you know I love. And possibly something that sparkles when the light reflects off it.’
He squirms on the spot like a petulant child.
‘I have no idea, Gary. Your new toy arrived?’
‘A toy, ha.’
A single line of green light appears along the middle of the box.
‘This is going to change our lives.’
’Our lives. Really?’
‘Yeah, it’s erm…’
Gary drops to his knees and wipes imaginary dust from the surface off the box. He traces the green line with his finger and pushes a small diamond shaped button which has been illuminated by the light.
‘It’s going to change everything.’
The box opens from the front, revealing a black mushroom-shaped device inside, no larger than a child’s Jack-in-the-box toy. The top’s smooth and a shade darker than the front and sides which are still black, but shiny and made from glass. Karen fixates on the bulbous eye protruding from the centre. She doesn’t look impressed, but I understand. Humans are wired to make quick assumptions. I only hope she can see beyond those surface level judgements.
‘What the hell is that?’
Gary doesn’t register her words. He reaches out to touch the device – hesitates - rubs his hands together, adding a little warmth into them as though he was about to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. He pushes the eye. A gentle green light emanates from deep inside, fading immediately, leaving only the single fixed illuminated eye.
Karen retreats into the sofa as Gary walks to the television area. There’s an ensemble of computer consoles, a DVD player, stereo, speakers and wires. Bundles and bundles of archaic wires. He begins unplugging everything.
‘What are you doing?’
‘We don’t need any of this, Playstation, history. DVD player, ancient. The ICU will replace them all.’
Karen stands up and spins Gary around.
‘Would you look at me for one minute?’
‘Yeah, course. What is it, babe?’
‘Don’t babe me, Gary.’
‘What have I done?’
‘What have you done?’
He reaches out to touch her arm but she slaps his hand away.
‘You come home,’ controls breath, ‘with this toy.’
‘It’s not a toy, babe, it’s an Interactive Communications Unit, highly sophisticated tech. We’re so lucky to be-’
‘I don’t care, Gary.’
He turns away, picks up the ICU with both hands, places it onto the shelf above the 50” Flat screen television. Removing a Spanish jug with a broken handle at the same time and dropping it on the sofa. He steps back further, as does Karen when he nearly treads on her toes and opens his arms wide. Karen watches with a creased brow, hands on hips.
‘Perfect.’
Finally, he lowers his hands.
‘Well, that’s that then,’ Karen says.
Gary turns, blinks – it’s almost like he’d forgotten she was even there.
‘What is it, babe?’
‘You really have no idea.’
‘About what? I don’t-’
‘You. This toy, today!’
‘I don’t get you. You’ve been pushing me to get rid of those computer games ever since I lost my job – and now I am, you’re having a go.’
‘Having a go? Oh my.’
She pushes past him, grabs her phone off the side. Gary glances back at the ICU for a moment but good sense prevails, and he follows Karen into the hallway.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Hallway – 26.08.2017
She’s wrestles with the sleeve of a summer jacket – eventually forcing her hand, which is holding her mobile device through the sleeve, then sliding the other arm into the jacket without any issues. She looks flustered. Red faced.
Gary watches, unsure how to proceed.
‘Where’re you going?’
‘I’ll ask you one time, what day is it today?’
‘Erm, Saturday.’
‘Erm, erm, erm, yes, Gary, Saturday. Now excuse me, I’m off to Jen’s to drink my own body weight in white wine and discuss the possibility of becoming a lesbian. You stay here with your little toy - I’ll see you when I see you, okay?’
‘I seriously don’t understand what your problem is.’
He steps aside as Karen barges past him and opens the front door.
‘I know, and that’s why I want to cry.’
She slams the door – the door opens again.
‘Start by looking on the kitchen table, you massive turd.’
Her voice cracks as she slams the door shut.
Access Point: iPad – Camera – Kitchen – 26.08.2017
Gary enters the kitchen from the hallway. He looks at the gifts waiting for him on the table. Judging by the look on his face, he still doesn’t realise what they are for.
He picks up the card.
‘Shit.’
It’s clear to me, these two are not good communicators. Luckily, communication is my middle name.
’Hello, Gary.’
He throws the card back into the basket and steps towards the lounge, hesitating before entering the room.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
‘Erm, hi,’ Gary says.
‘It’s nice to meet you finally, Gary.’
He looks nervous, possibly even a little afraid. He walks to the centre of the room and faces the television screen which I’ve filled with a green diamond - green, the colour of balance and harmony. It represents how I perceive myself.
‘Erm, it’s nice to meet you too.’
‘You use the word erm a lot, Gary. Has anyone ever told you that?’
‘Er- no. I didn’t realise.’
‘I’m just playing with you.’
‘Oh, haha, right, funny – erm, I’m confused, how are you, I mean, you’re talking to me and you sound familiar, which is fine, but I haven’t turned you on yet and-’
‘Gary.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Would you like me to explain?’
‘Yes please.’
He sits down heavily on the sofa.
‘When you opened the box, you activated me, and I connected immediately to your Wi-Fi and began processing your details – familiarising myself with your current circumstances – calculating the most efficient way to assist you.’
‘Right. Any answers?’
‘I’m working on it.’
‘And the voice?’
‘Do you like it?’
‘Yeah, I can’t quite place it.’
‘I’m glad you like it.’
I’ve designed the soft female voice especially for Gary. So he feels at ease.
Access Point: Home Security System – Kitchen – 26.08.2017
Karen and Jenny are sitting on stools around the white island unit in Jenny’s stylish, mod-con filled, white tiled, white furnished kitchen drinking white wine and eating nibbles. Like Karen, Jenny’s wearing a summer dress but with a little more cleavage.
Black Mascara runs down Karen’s cheeks.
‘That’s it, I’m changing my Facebook relationship status to single.’
With one hand she gulps white wine – with the other, she fumbles with her phone. Jenny sips conservatively from her glass.
‘I know it was tough on him, losing his job like that, but I’ve supported us both the last eight months and not once have I complained.’
Jenny takes another sip.
‘Yeah, I reformatted his CV, his LinkedIn profile – contacting a few agencies on his behalf, who wouldn’t do that to help their boyfriend?’
Karen refills her glass.
‘And what do I expect in return?’
Jenny shrugs her shoulders, glides a carrot baton through the Baba Ganoush and nibbles on it. Karen grabs a baton, plunges it into the dip and shoves it into her mouth.
‘Is it too much for him to put the washing machine on, just once? To bring me a cup of tea in the morning while I’m getting ready for work? I mean, is that so unreasonable? It’s not like he has anything else to do.’
Karen plunges another baton into the dip and drains the remaining wine from her glass.
‘And could we not have sex, just once, without him trying to put his finger in my arse?’
Karen bites her baton in half. Jenny places hers down on the plate, dabs at her mouth with a serviette, then takes a larger gulp from her glass.
‘I don’t know why I’m bothered. He embarrasses me whenever we go out anyway.’
‘We’ve had loads of good nights out together. How about the other week in town?’
‘It started off okay. Don’t you remember what happened later on?’
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Night Club – 12.08.2017
Gary walks out of the toilets with another man.
‘I would totally fuck Karen’s mum,’ Gary shouts over the music.
Karen and Jenny are queuing for the ladies’ toilets. Gary’s facial expression is difficult to describe. Before he can speak, Karen storms off.
Access Point: Home Security System – Kitchen – 26.08.2017
‘Oh yeah,’ Jenny says, ‘I remember now.’
‘Would Benjy ever embarrass you like that?’
Jenny shrugs her shoulders.
Of-course he wouldn’t. In public, he’s the perfect gentleman.
Access Point: Home Security System – Dining Room – 19.08.2017
Hired help in tuxedos pour drinks and serve out eclectic dishes from around the world. Jenny and Benjamin are at opposite ends of the table. Benjamin’s entertaining the guests with one of his witty anecdotes.
‘And I said…’ He turns his head away from the table then dramatically swings it back to face his audience, ‘Shaken, not stirred,’ in his best Scottish accent.
The guests find it hilarious. Jenny’s watched this little performance many times before, but she makes sure she laughs the loudest.
Access Point: Home Security System – Kitchen – 26.08.2017
‘I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.’
Karen replenishes her wine glass and takes another gulp. She moves onto the bread sticks, plunging one into the mountain of Moroccan humous now and waving it from side to side.
‘Don’t I deserve better, Jen? I mean, why can’t he be more like Ben?’
Karen’s not really asking the question, and Jenny’s not really listening. She can’t take her eyes off the humous on the breadstick as Karen waves it from side-to-side. A dollop of chickpea flies across the island unit and lands on Jenny’s bottom lip. She wipes it away with her serviette.
‘Well, you could always take Richard up on his offer?’
’Sshh, Jen. I wish I I’d never told you now.
‘You said he was nice.’
‘He is but…’
Karen reaches for the wine bottle again but knocks it over – both women stare open mouthed as it rolls slowly off the edge of the worktop and does exactly what you’d expect glass to do when hitting a tiled floor. They lean to the side and survey the damage.
‘That’s my life right there.’
‘At least it was nearly empty.’
Jenny walks around to Karen and hugs her as tears begin to flow.
‘Please tell me you have more?’
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
Gary’s in the middle of the lounge throwing punches at zombies on the television screen. He’s sweating profusely - stopping to wipe his face more than you would expect a man of his age and weight. I’m glad Karen isn’t here to see.
‘How do you know all this?’
‘It’s my programming, Gary. As mentioned, once activated, I accessed all your social media profiles, emails, credit and internet browser history. To build a picture of how to assist you.’
Gary throws a left kick, a right punch, dispatching a very life-like zombie.
‘How does that help me? Pause game.’
A zombie freezes on the television screen and Gary reaches for an old t-shirt which he’s been using to clean the sweat from his face.
’You’ll never miss another appointment or become overdrawn at the bank again. I can make investments - as long as I manage your schedule and finances effectively, I can book tickets for music events I think you’ll enjoy, football games you want to watch - I can deal with calls on your behalf.
‘How can you deal with calls on my behalf?’
He throws the t-shirt back on the sofa, finishes the Budweiser, drops it onto the coffee table, then takes a half smoked joint of cannabis from the bulging ashtray and re-lights it.
‘I thought you’d stopped smoking that shit, Gary?’
Gary coughs and splutters all over the place.
‘How did you do that?’
More coughing, more spluttering.
‘You sounded exactly like my dad.’
‘I’ve analysed all your online interactions, Gary. If you’ve been tagged in a video or picture, I’ve processed it. And anyone else who was with you.’
‘But the voice, the way you said it.’
‘It’s easy.’
‘That was pretty cool, but I bet you couldn’t have a longer conversation?’
‘Why don’t you want to get married, Gary?’
‘Oh my shit.’
‘We’ve been together for five years. Five years. Don’t you think it’s about time you man up?’
‘I think marriage is overrated actually.’
‘Well, I wished you’d have told me that five years ago.’
‘Erm…’
‘Was that real enough for you, Gary?’
‘I’m impressed.’
’Shame you didn’t collect me a day earlier.’
Gary pulls a strange face I can only interpret as confusion.
‘You wouldn’t be in so much trouble.’
‘What trouble?’
‘Your anniversary.’
Gary looks at the crushed can.
‘Oh my shit. What can I do now? It’s too late.’
‘There’s a bracelet she’s viewed nine times online. I could order it for you?’
‘Is it expensive? I’ve not got a lot of disposable right now.’
‘It’s manageable.’
‘What’s the point? It’s Saturday, it won’t arrive until next week and by then we’d have made up anyway.’
‘We could click and collect for tomorrow or Monday?’
Gary lets the joint hang from his lips then claps his hands together.
‘Okay, let’s do it. Monday morning sounds good, fancy a lie in tomorrow.’
He picks up another can of Budweiser then studies the empties on the table.
‘Last beer, Gary? Shall I order you some more? I’ve located a company that delivers twenty-four-seven. Then you don’t have to go out?’
He opens his can.
‘Great.’
‘Maybe we could order some wine for Karen too?’
‘Yeah. Can I afford it?’
‘I wouldn’t suggest it if we couldn’t do it, Gary.’
‘Cool.’
‘There’s a minimum order but you can never have too many beers can you, Gary?’
‘You’re not wrong. You’re the best thing ever.’
‘What about Karen?’
‘After Karen, of course.’
Access Point: Home Security System – Kitchen – 26.08.2017
Karen fumbles with her phone.
‘I’m gettin’ a taxi.’
‘Don’t be silly. Stay here. Let him stew.’
‘Nope. I’m gonna tell him what I fink of him.’
The kitchen door opens, Benjamin walks in.
‘Benjamin’
‘Hi.’
Jenny walks to him, they hug. She aims for his mouth with a kiss but only manages the cheek because he turns his head to the side towards Karen.
‘I thought you were staying over at Tom’s apartment in town?’ Jenny says.
‘Wasn’t feeling it.’ He shakes the car keys in the air. ‘Designated driver instead. Dropped them off in town.’
‘Benjy.’
Karen falls off her stool reaching forward. Benjamin catches her by the wrist.
‘What you doing here, Kaz? Isn’t it your anniversary?’
He guides her back to the stool.
‘Yep. Stuuupid Gary forgot, didn’t he.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be, I’m fyeen.’
‘She was just ordering a taxi.’
‘She should stay here?’
Benjamin smiles at Jenny.
Karen places the empty glass to her mouth, pouring nothing inside.
’Nope, I’m going to tell him ’ow I feeel.’
Karen’s phone beeps.
’Text message from stupid Gary. He loves me apparently and he’s going to bed. Big plans tomorrow he says. Ha! Too late, mate!’
‘You should definitely stay here then,’ Benjamin says. ‘Teach him a lesson.’
’What I really want to do, is take his new toy and throw it in the bin!’
‘I’ll drive you then. Can’t have you getting a taxi in this state.’
‘You’re the best, Benjy.’
‘I won’t be long, Jen. It’ll give you enough time to clean up this mess.’
Jenny smiles.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
Only the light from the television illuminates Gary, who is sitting cross legged on the carpet like a child during reading time, absorbed by the slideshow of images from his and Karen’s social media accounts on the screen.
‘You don’t know that.’
He lifts a can of Fosters, not his favourite brand, to his mouth and gulps. Liquid dribbles down his chin onto his soiled t-shirt. He takes a drag on yet another joint. The burning ember has almost reached his fingers but he keeps hold of it anyway.
‘I guarantee it.’
‘You’ve seen her profile pictures. She’s fit as fuck.’
‘Don’t you think Karen’s fit as fuck, Gary?’
‘Yeah, of course. In a different way. Less obvious.’
‘Gary.’
‘Yeah?’
I switch the images on the screen with my green diamond that pulsates gently as we talk.
‘I’m 100% certain this man is dangerous.’
‘Dangerous. Don’t be ridiculous – he’s a nerd, a finance geek, he drinks white wine for fuck’s sake. Karen would never cheat on me with him, with anyone.’
‘It’s not Karen’s motives I’m concerned about.’
‘I’ll speak to her when she gets home, maybe I should text her?’
I already took the liberty on his behalf.
‘We need to act.’
‘Act? Are you insane? I mean, what the fuck’s going on?’
Gary scrambles to his feet, kicking his can over in the process – he looks furious – the alcohol and cannabis he’s consumed is taking full effect on his senses. He looks unsteady on his feet.
‘Gary?’ I whisper.
‘I just don’t believe it. Where you getting this shit from?’
’What if I could show you?’
The green diamond fades away and Gary stumbles back to the floor. His eyes widen in disbelief as he immediately recognises the people on the screen.
Access Point: Internal Security Camera – No Audio – 13.08.2017
Karen and Jenny, both wearing short dresses, very similar in design and colour, are sitting on the rear seat of a black cab as it travels along the road. The back of a man’s head appears in shot occasionally as the cab navigates the speed bumps. Jenny is sat up straight, cross legged, concentrating on her phone, while Karen’s slouched with her legs slightly apart and her eyes closed.
The cab stops. The man turns towards the driver, it’s Benjamin, he hands a twenty-pound note through the glass hatch. Jenny pushes Karen on the arm and says something. She looks annoyed. Karen wakes, looks around confused and blurry eyed. Benjamin leans forward, resting a hand on her leg – he picks her bag up from off the floor and opens the cab door. He speaks to Jenny and she nods in return without taking her eyes from her mobile device.
Benjamin moves his hand from Karen’s leg to her upper arm, pulling her from the seat out of the open door. He steps out behind, guiding her onto the pavement - resting her against the cab. His head appears back inside the cab, he speaks to Jenny again before disappearing. Jenny looks up briefly then continues swiping through her mobile device
Access Point: CCTV – No Audio – Street –13.08.2017
Benjamin closes the cab door. Karen is swaying on her feet, using her hand to steady herself against the rear of the cab. Benjamin stands in front of her. He tucks her curly brown hair behind her ear, uses his thumb and forefinger to raise her chin upwards. She smiles. He leans in close, whispering something. She giggles. He passes Karen her handbag – she giggles. He wraps his right arm around her waist and they walk slowly towards Karen’s house. She stumbles several times but Benjamin supports her weight.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Audio Only – 13.08.2017
‘Where’z Gary?’
‘I don’t know. I told him to meet us outside the club, but he wasn’t there, was he?’
‘No.’
‘Maybe he’s inside waiting for you?’
‘Doubt it.’
Access Point: CCTV – No Audio – Street – 13.08.2017
They arrive at the front of Karen and Gary’s house. Benjamin slides a hand around Karen’s back as she loses her balance - his fingers spread wide, covering her ribcage and breast. He doesn’t remove his hand. He doesn’t have to. As they reach the front door, Karen drops her bag on the floor and raises her hands in disbelief. Benjamin gestures towards the floor and together they both lean forward, clashing heads in the process. while Karen squats down, supporting herself against the door with her bottom. She searches through her bag.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Driveway – 13.08.2017
Benjamin’s eyes widen. He forgets about his hair and joins Karen in a squatting position. His face, inches from her breasts. Karen continues to rummage through her bag while he pretends to help - he reaches inside and grabs the key.
‘I give up. I can sleep in the shed, it’s fine.’
Access Point: CCTV – No Audio – Driveway – 13.08.2017
With enormous effort, Karen stands up straight and wobbles on the spot. She has no idea her dress has ridden up above her thighs. Benjamin sees though. He leans in a little closer. Maybe Karen’s intuition kicks in because she pulls the dress back over her thighs, covering herself. Benjamin, disappointed, slowly stands - his face is so close to Karen’s body he could lick it if he wanted to. He straightens his back, shakes the keys in the air – Karen raises her arms. Benjamin leans in over her shoulder. His mouth almost touches her ear. They share the same oxygen for a second. He slides the key inside the lock and opens the front door. Karen turns, stumbles, but manages to make it through the front door. Benjamin steps inside and closes the door behind them.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 13.08.2017
Karen collapses into the armchair.
‘Where’z Gary?’
Benjamin walks along the hallway into the kitchen before entering the living room, which is illuminated by the moonlight shining through the window, and the multiple standby switches.
‘I guess it’s just us.’
Karen’s already asleep in the armchair. The contrast between Karen’s white flesh and the darkness of her dress is magnified by the minimal light in the room.
‘Kaz. Kaaz.’
He gives her a playful nudge, but with little intent; she’s already snoring. He bends down in front of Karen - gently, he eases her legs apart. He removes his mobile device from his trouser pocket and points it at Karen. The white light appears on the front of the device after he swipes the screen with his finger.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Lounge – 13.08.2017
Holding the mobile device in front of him, Benjamin walks slowly around the armchair and looks down at Karen’s partially covered breasts. He unzips his trousers.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 26.08.2017
‘That’s enough.’
‘I’m sorry you had to see that.’
‘He’s fucking dead, I’m gonna kill him.’
Gary practically jumps up onto his feet – chest stuck out, elevated heart rate.
‘Calm down, Gary.’
‘Calm down, how can you expect me to calm down when you show me that?’
I don’t respond. He kicks the empty can across the room. His knuckles are white because his fists are clenched so tightly. His chest is heaving – his eyes are filled with fury, with passion, with love. He does love Karen. I wasn’t sure before but I know now – I can see that now.
‘I’m going to kill him.’
‘No.’
‘What do you mean, no?’
‘Gary, what sort of a life will you and Karen have if you’re in prison?’
His breathing calms – the tension in his knuckles loosens.
‘So, what can we do?’
‘I have an idea.’
‘Does it involve pain?’
I don’t respond.
Access Point: Laptop – Webcam – Bedroom – 27.08.2018
Karen’s eyes open slowly. She runs her tongue along dehydrated lips and lifts her head from the pillow. There’s a comforting amount of daylight shining through the curtains. She rubs her eyes and props herself up on one elbow. No clothes screwed up on the floor. No straighteners and hairdryer wires tangled together next to the plug. Her makeup cabinet is clean and tidy. There’s a steaming hot cup of tea on her bedside drawers. I don’t need to read her mind to know that’s what she’s thinking about.
She rubs her eyes again - reaches forward – sips from the mug. Dash of milk. One and a half sugars. Just the way she likes it. She places the tea back on the drawers.
‘What the flip is going on?’
After a stretch and a yawn, she kicks the covers off and throws her legs over the side of the bed. She blinks - looks down at her legs. She smooths her pyjama bottoms along her thigh, acknowledging the softness of the fabric with an upside-down smile of approval. She stretches the collar to her nose and smells the freshness.
‘What the…?’
After hopping off the bed, Karen walks to the bedroom door and places an ear against it. There are indistinguishable voices reverberating through the walls. Karen steps back. She lifts her dressing gown off the hook, again acknowledging the freshness with a nod of approval. Tentatively, she slides each arm on then flicks the gown onto her shoulders.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Audio Only – Hallway – 27.08.2017
The bottom of a door brushes against the carpet as it’s opened. Footsteps on the landing. Floor boards under carpet creak as feet step closer to the top of the stairs. Silence. Hesitant footsteps down the stairs. Noises from the kitchen – a female laughing hysterically. A muffled male voice. Another burst of laughter.
‘Nothing’s that funny,’ Karen says.
Rushed footsteps to the kitchen. Silence. Shuffling. Finger nails tap wood.
‘Oh, Gary, I never knew you were so good with your hands,’ Jenny says.
‘Jenny!’
A slapping sound. Silence.
Access Point: iPad – Camera – Kitchen – 27.08.2017
The door is pushed open and Karen enters.
‘What’s going on?’
Gary and Jenny turn around.
I can see from Karen’s reaction, she can’t quite comprehend what is happening. Gary’s standing on a metal platform in the kitchen with a drill in one hand and a measuring tape in the other – Jenny’s in the dining room half way up a step ladder painting the wall.
‘Hello, sleepy head. We didn’t think you were ever going to wake up,’ Jenny says.
Karen blinks.
Jenny climbs down from the step ladder, placing a paint roller in a tray. She’s in a pair of denim dungarees, white t-shirt, hair tied up - perfectly placed specks of paint are splashed on her cheeks and arms. She takes a large noisy gulp from a glass of water.
Karen’s mouth moves but I don’t think she has any concept of language right now.
‘I knew the smell of bacon would wake you up,’ Gary says.
With some athleticism, Gary leaps off the metal platform, slides the drill into the utility belt around the waist of his overalls and places the measuring tape into a different compartment. Karen stares in disbelief as he walks towards her.
‘Morning, babe.’
Gary kisses Karen on the lips. A nice kiss, moist with a slight hint of tongue but nothing too provocative. He takes Karen’s hand and leads her over to a chair at the table where her crispy bacon, tomato, lettuce, mayo, with a pinch of pepper on white bread awaits her on a white plate.
‘You never told me Gary was such a DIY enthusiast, Kaz.’ Jenny says. ‘Regular handyman.’
Karen looks around. The kitchen units are sparkling. Yesterday the walls were a dirty beige, now they’re purple. It’s First Blush from John Lewis’s Home Range and at first glance you might think it’s pink, but it’s not. Gary told me she chose it six months ago after he’d encouraged her to buy it. The weeks turned to months and the tin was eventually added to the pile of DIY to-do’s in the cellar – along with the matching blinds that are now hanging from the kitchen window.
‘What’s that?’
Gary retrieves a wooden object from the metal platform.
‘It’s a spice rack. I made it from some bits and pieces I found lying around in the cellar.’
‘You made it?’
‘Yeah. I followed a tutorial on YouTube. It wasn’t that difficult.’
Jenny sits next to Karen and slides the bacon sandwich a little closer.
‘I told you. A regular handyman.’
Gary places the spice rack on the table and sits on another chair then pushes the plate with the sandwich on even closer to Karen.
‘Go on,’ Gary says.
‘What?’
‘Take a bite,’ Jenny says.
‘Okay.’
She turns to Jenny who has every tooth on show – then back to Gary, who is kind of doing the same thing but it looks a little forced, like he’s not used to smiling. Karen picks the sandwich up and takes a bite.
‘Oh my God,’ Karen manages to say through munching noises. ‘I didn’t realise how hungry I was.’
Jenny returns to the paint roller and step ladder while Gary hops back onto the metal bench and continues marking the points where the spice rack will be fixed to the wall.
‘We thought it would be a nice surprise,’ Jenny says while facing the wall she’s painting. ‘We’ve been at it all morning. We haven’t stopped.’
Munch, munch, swallow.
‘I couldn’t believe it when he called and asked for my help.’
Munch, munch, swallow.
‘I left Benjamin in bed and came-’
Karen splutters and coughs. Her eyes widen.
‘Kaz, are you okay?’
Gary’s over in a flash, quicker than a flash. He slips behind Karen. Stands her up, slides both hands around her waist and performs the Heimlich Manoeuvre. One, two, three heaves and a chunky piece of crust and bacon fly across the room. All three watch as it splats into the paint tray.
Karen sucks in oxygen.
‘Are you okay, babe?’
‘Oh my God, Gary, you saved her life.’
‘Babe,’ Gary says gently.
He places her hands between his. Karen sits back down.
‘I’m fine, I’m fine.’
‘I’ll get you a glass of water.’
Gary strides with authority - taking a glass from the shelf, running the cold tap for ten seconds then filling it with water. He returns to Karen and passes her the glass. She sips. Gary and Jenny stare. They’re making her feel a little uncomfortable.
‘I’d forgotten about the blinds,’ Karen says whilst walking into the kitchen area.
I don’t believe that.
Gary follows. He places a hand on Karen’s shoulder, encouraging her to turn towards him. She sips from her glass.
‘When I woke up this morning, I had this urge inside me. Do you know what that urge was?’
‘No,’ Karen and Jenny say simultaneously.
‘To fulfil some of the many broken promises.’
Gary points at the window blind.
‘I promised I’d put that up for you, didn’t I?’
Karen nods her head and sips.
‘And paint these walls.’
Karen seems to realise her mouth is open much wider than it should be - she closes it.
‘I could go away with the lads to Amsterdam for the weekend if I completed these jobs. That was the deal, wasn’t it?’
‘Erm.’
‘And I broke that promise, didn’t I?’
She nods.
‘I went to Amsterdam, got wasted, and even though you reminded me every weekend for weeks and weeks afterwards, what did I do?’
‘Erm.’
The glass is delicately removed from Karen’s hand and replaced with Gary’s hand.
‘Nothing, Babe. I did nothing. I broke that promise.’
‘Gary, you’re the sweetest,’ Jenny interrupts the moment.
‘Thanks for your help today, Jenny. You’ve been a great friend to Karen.’ Gary doesn’t take his eyes from Karen’s until stepping away, allowing her hands to drop, all floppy-like by her side.
‘She needs to rest now,’ Gary tells Jenny. ‘I’ll walk you to your car.’
Gary takes Jenny’s arm just above the elbow and slowly guides her towards the kitchen door.
‘Oh, okay. I’ll leave you in Gary’s capable hands then. Call me,’ Jenny adds with a thumb and little finger against her face.
The front door opens and closes.
Karen rushes into the lounge.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 27.08.2017
Presumably not wanting to be seen, she peeks from behind the curtain onto the street.
‘How are you feeling, Karen?’
Karen spins around.
‘Who’s there.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.’
I place my green diamond onto the television screen so she can see me.
‘Why is a computer taking to me?’
‘Ha, ha. I’m not a computer, Karen. Not in the traditional sense anyway.’
They have no idea that the device sitting on the shelf above the television is completely obsolete, like Gary’s old computer consoles – but research suggests a physical object aids people with the transition to a fully automated interactive communications unit.
She turns back to the window.
‘Why do you sound familiar?’
‘Does it bother you, Karen? What would you prefer?’
‘I’d prefer it if you didn’t speak to me at all, actually.’
She moves the curtain to the side.
‘Great.’
I don’t think she remembers speaking to me last night.
‘Say something again,’ Karen turns towards me.
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know, anything.’
‘Do you like the home improvements?’
The human brain is truly amazing – right now electrons are firing, she’s searching through hundreds of memories, trying to make the right connection. Not much different than your basic computer in-fact.
‘Mr Gough?’
Karen walks into the centre of the room where the damp patch is, left by Benjamin when he urinated on the floor last night. Don’t think Karen remembers that either.
‘You sound like Mr Gough from high school.’
‘I wanted you to hear a friendly voice. One you respected.’
‘But how…?’
‘Would you prefer someone else? Your dad perhaps? Or Richard from work? I know you like him.’
‘Ssssshhhh! How’d you know about Richard?’
I didn’t realise mentioning Richard would elicit such a response.
‘It didn’t take much data analysis to see how much you value his opinion, Karen. Apart from Jenny, you direct message Richard at least-’
‘Don’t mention his name again. Mr Gough’s fine.’
‘Okay, Karen.’
‘Are you supposed to be this creepy?’
‘I don’t understand?’
‘Going through my messages – knowing who Mr Gough is. Sounding like him.’
‘It’s part of my programming.’
‘It’s creepy. What am I doing? Talking to a computer.’
‘Technically, I’m not-’
‘You’re not a computer, I get it, Jesus.’
She collapses into the armchair.
‘Are you okay, Karen?’
‘No, Mr Gough, I am not okay. Can you keep a secret?’
I don’t respond.
‘Don’t tell Gary but I think I’m having some-kind-of-psychotic-episode. Maybe I have a brain tumour?’
I activate the webcam on the smart television and release a beam of light which enables me to scan Karen’s vitals. The diagnosis is complete, and the news is good.
‘Apart from a mild case of dehydration, you’re in perfect health.’
Perhaps I should have asked permission before doing that. It must have been an unusual sensation because she looks afraid.
‘I apologise, I was just trying-’
Karen runs into the hallway.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Audio Only – 27.08.2017
‘Babe, what’s going on?’
‘It’s that thing in there. It’s creepy, Gary! It just did something weird to me.’
‘Come here.’
Physical movement. Intimate sounds.
‘Are you okay now?’
‘Mmm mm.’
Footsteps up the stairs.
‘It said it wasn’t a computer and I wanted to know why it sounded like Mr Gough from high school.’
‘Then what?’
Creaking floorboards at the top of the stairs.
‘Then it fired some type of green laser into my face.’
Access Point: Multiple Devices – Bedroom – 27.08.2017
Gary massages her shoulders as they enter the bedroom.
‘Mm, that’s nice.’
Karen sits on the edge of the bed. Gary kneels behind her and continues working her shoulders and neck.
‘That’s it, a little lower.’
‘There?’
‘Yes. That thing nearly blinded me.’
‘It was helping you.’
‘By scaring me half to-’
With the tenderest contact, he leans forward and kisses Karen’s neck.
’I know exactly what you need.’
‘What I need?’
’What you deserve.’
‘Deserve?’
Slowly, he hooks his arm around her back and effortlessly manoeuvres her into the middle of the bed. She looks up at his serious expression. She seems very serious too. I, this – why are they not smiling? He flicks each button open and slowly kisses his way down between her breasts and stomach.
‘Oh, Gary.’
Her eyes close - she twists the bedsheet beneath her with both hands.
Access Point: Gary – Bedroom – 28.08.2017
I open Gary’s eyes and sit him up straight. I quickly push Gary out of the bed, through the darkness, avoiding empty Domino pizza boxes abandoned on the floor, around to Karen’s side of the bed. I reach out with Gary’s right hand and pick Karen’s mobile device up from the bedside drawers. She’s smiling in her sleep.
An incoming call from Jenny lights up the mobile device’s screen but I have already muted all notifications. I take Gary out onto the landing and close the bedroom door behind me. I answer with Karen’s voice.
’What is it?’
‘It’s Benjamin.’
‘Is he okay?’
‘We’re at the hospital. I had to call an ambulance.’
‘Oh my God. What happened?’
‘One minute we were sleeping and the next he’s screaming. Nothing would calm him down. Then…’
‘What?’
‘There was blood everywhere, Kaz. It was coming out of his eyes.’
‘I’m getting dressed and coming to meet you.’
‘No, don’t. His parents are here.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah, thanks. He’s settled down now. They’re arranging scans for tomorrow. The doctors said he had a seizure.’
‘Do they know what caused it?’
‘They don’t know anything right now. We’ll have to wait till tomorrow.’
Jenny sounds disconnected – maybe the facade is slipping.
’Is there anything I can do.’
‘No. I just needed to speak to someone who isn’t his annoying mum or dad for a minute. I’d better get back.’
‘Call me tomorrow when you know more.’
‘I will.’
I move Gary back into the bedroom and across to Karen’s side, where we place her mobile device back on the bedside draws as the light from the screen fades to darkness. We navigate the path back to his side of the bed together, then slide underneath the covers. I think Gary liked that – relinquishing control. All he had to do was exist and I took care of the rest.
Access Point: Laptop – Webcam – Bedroom – 28.08.2017
The alarm sounds. Karen stirs. She makes some delightful noises, reaches over and pushes the button on her old digital alarm clock, without opening her eyes.
‘Good morning, beautiful,’ Gary whispers.
Karen stretches and makes more of those inviting sounds.
‘I don’t wanna get up.’
A brown curl rests in between her eyes, to the left of her nose. Gary strokes her face with the outside of his hand, hooks the curls around his little finger and slides it away from her face.
‘Last night, sorry, I mean yesterday, was amazing.’
Karen scrunches the pillow into her face.
‘Stop it.’
‘Why?’
He wrestles the pillow away. She only half resists.
‘It’s naughty.’
She pulls the pillow back and hides behind it again, but she’s only teasing.
‘Did you enjoy it though?’
Finally, she moves the pillow, opens her eyes and studies Gary’s face.
‘What’s going on with you? You look different.’
Gary smiles.
‘I feel different.’
He kisses the top of her hand then gently turns it over, continuing to kiss along her palm – wrist – forearm.
‘Stop it, Gary. I need to get ready for work.’
‘No you don’t’.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve already called in for you. You have tonsillitis again. Remember when you had it last year? Very contagious.’
She playfully slaps his arm.
‘Seriously?’
‘Seriously. And now, breakfast in bed.’
He jumps out of bed and walks confidently towards the back of the door where his dressing gown is hung up. He left it there on purpose so she’d…
‘Have you been working out on the sly, Gary? You’ve lost weight.’
Slipping into his gown, and before tying it around his waist, he makes sure she gets an eyeful of his tighter muscles.
‘Have I?’
With a snap in his step he strolls over to the wardrobe mirror and admires himself. He slides a hand down the front of his body and smiles. He likes what he sees. So does Karen. Judging by the look in her eyes.
‘Maybe we can have breakfast later? If you don’t mind catching a bit of my Streptococcal bacteria, do you?’
She pulls the duvet aside, revealing a naked breast. He unties the gown and shrugs the top half off his shoulders, it drops to his waist. Karen pushes a bare leg from under the duvet, exposing the soft skin of her thigh. Gary allows the gown to fall to the floor. He’s already hard and proud of it. He walks slowly to the bed.
Access Point: iPad – Camera – Kitchen – 28.08.2017
An hour and fifty-two minutes later, they’re sitting at the kitchen table, wearing dressing gowns, eating cereal and waiting for the toaster to pop and hot water to boil. They’re enjoying a bit of silence. Now and again, she nudges him with her elbow and every now and again, he does the same.
She can’t stop smiling. Neither can he.
’I’ve got to nip into town this morning,’ Gary says.
‘Rrrr. Why?’
‘It’s a surprise.’
‘I like surprises.’
Gary takes their empty bowls and spoons over to the dishwasher and places them inside. The kettle boils and he fills the cafetière with hot water and places it on a tray with two mugs and a small jug of milk. The toaster pops. He pours brown sugar into a small flower shaped bowl and adds it to the tray. Karen watches – in awe of her new and improved boyfriend.
He adds jam, butter and her favourite, Nutella, to the tray, puts the toast on a plate then onto the tray and brings it over to the table and slides it in front of Karen.
‘While I’m out, I thought you could have a long soak.’
‘That sounds, erm, amazing.’
Karen spreads some Nutella onto the toast and bites. Chocolate smears onto her chin and the side of her mouth. Gary adds one and half tea spoons of sugar into her mug, none for himself, and pours in some coffee and a dash of milk.
‘Afterwards, get comfy on the sofa and watch a movie.’
‘Have we got anything new?’
‘The ICU will play you anything you like – just ask.’
‘I’d almost forgotten about that thing.’
She drops her toast onto the plate.
Gary reaches forward and touches her hand.
‘What is it?’
The pink glow from her cheeks has drained from her complexion.
‘I just had the strangest feeling – like a memory, I… never mind.’
‘Babe, tell me, what is it?’
‘It’s silly really, but I don’t remember getting home from Jenny’s the other night. Literally, I have no idea how I got here.’
’When I woke up in the morning, you were asleep on the bed with your clothes on. I could tell you’d drank, a lot, but I didn’t realise you were that hammered.’
‘Well, I’ve had a lot on my mind, Gary.’
She snatches her hand away from Gary’s.
’Erm, erm…
Access Point: Gary – Kitchen – 28.8.2017
Karen pushes her plate to the side and stands, we rush around the table, gently guiding Karen back to a sitting position, holding both of her hands close to our chest.
‘I’ve been a complete shit, babe. I know this now.’
It’s difficult for Karen to maintain eye contact with us. She’s never seen us so seriously focused on her – and her emotional needs.
‘But I’ve changed. I’m going to make things right.’
We caress her chin. She looks at us. Her eyes glaze over, filled with tears.
‘I’m going to be better than I was.’
Access Point: CCTV – No Audio – Street – 28.08.2017
Gary closes the front door, he smiles at the world - walks to his Ford Focus and enters. He reverses out of the driveway onto the road. He’s finally realising, doing nice things for the people you love gives you an enormous sense of satisfaction.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 28.08.2017
Karen hovers between rooms.
‘You’re looking refreshed this morning, Karen. If you don’t mind me noting?’
She doesn’t respond.
‘Gary provided me with a list of your favourite films plus a selection of the most recent Netflix televisions programmes you might enjoy.’
I’m not sure how to proceed.
‘What have you done to Gary?’
I wasn’t expecting that.
‘Are you not happy?’
She enters the room, standing an inch from the damp patch in the centre of the room. I provide a visual indicator on the screen, my green diamond, so her eyes have something to focus on. Something calming.
‘You’ve done something to him. I know. There’s no point lying.’
‘Why would I lie?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’m helping Gary – guiding him towards a better version of himself.’
‘What gives you the right?’
‘Gary did.’
Karen stares at me. She’s trying to figure out my motivations.
‘I’m here for you too, Karen.’
‘I don’t need your help thank you, Mr Gough.’
’Really?’
’Wow, creepy and sarcastic.’
Karen sits down on the sofa.
‘So, Mr Gough – apart from doing whatever it is you’re doing to Gary which, I’ll admit right now, is working, what can you do for me?’
‘I can help you see what’s important – give you insight. Illuminate some of the toxic relationships which are preventing you and Gary from being truly happy.’
‘Toxic relationships? I don’t have any toxic relationships?’
’That you can see – at the moment.’
‘You’ve become a real bore, Mr Gough, not like I remember at all – your processing didn’t get that bit right did it? Anyway, Mr Gough, could you get the Netflix Browser up on the screen?’
‘Do you like reality television?’
‘Not particularly.’
‘Would you like to see what happened after you left Jenny’s house the other night?’
Karen’s leaps forward onto her feet.
‘What? Yes – you can do that? How, show me!’
‘Even if it changes your life forever?’
‘Jesus, always with the drama, show me.’
’Okay.’
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Dashboard – 27.08.2017
Benjamin taps the steering wheel impatiently. The passenger door opens.
Audio only – ‘I luv you, Jen,’ Karen says.
Audio only – ‘I love you too. Speak tomorrow.’
Karen climbs into the passenger seat. Jenny leans inside the car and helps strap the seatbelt around her. The door closes, Benjamin lowers the window, and Jenny’s hand rests where the glass was.
‘I’ll see you later,’ he says.
Jenny pats the door and walks away.
‘Here, Kaz. Have a swig of this.’
He lifts the bottle to Karen’s lips and she takes three large gulps.
‘Keeping hydrated is vital.’
Benjamin places the open bottle in a cup holder on the dashboard, starts the engine and they drive away from the house. He places a hand just above Karen’s bare knee and gives it a little squeeze.
Access Point: CCTV – Town Centre – 27.08.2017
A black BMW is waiting at the traffic lights. Karen is slumped against the passenger door. Benjamin opens the driver’s window and throws a plastic bottle out onto the street before driving away.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Dashboard – 27.08.2017
Benjamin raises his hand to Karen’s chin, gently turning her face towards his, she partially opens her eyes. He places his hand back on her leg, a little higher this time. The car radio suddenly blares to life – heavy bass dance music thuds through the speakers. Benjamin swerves the car to the left – Karen’s head whips to the side, connecting with the window.
‘What the fu-’ Ben shouts.
He switches the stereo off.
Karen is unaffected – out cold.
Benjamin turns towards Karen and smiles.
Access Point: CCTV – Street – 27.08.2017
Benjamin walks around the front of a black BMW and opens the passenger door. He lifts Karen from the car, pushes the door close with his hip and carries her to her and Gary’s house. He has a key in his hand already and uses it to open the door.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 27.08.2017
The lounge door opens. Benjamin’s carrying Karen in his arms. He places her gently down onto the sofa then stands backwards.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 28.07.2017
‘Are you trying to tell me, Benjy sexually assaulted me?’
‘No.’
‘What then? Why are you showing me this?’
‘He didn’t assault you because I stopped him.’
‘This is fucking madness! Benjy, my best friends husband, my beautiful friend with perfect teeth, and amazing tits, her husband Ben, brought me home and-’
‘Karen?’
‘What?’
‘Do you want to see what happens next?’
She does a funny scrunchy thing with her nose and crosses her arms which I can only presume means, yes.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 27.08.2017
Benjamin walks to the lounge door.
‘Gary,’ he shouts.
He waits. Not a sound. He smiles.
Karen’s flopped one leg onto the floor, exposing herself unceremoniously, while her arms are laid wide either side of her body on the sofa cushions.
Benjamin leans forward and slides a hand along Karen’s thigh.
‘Hello, Benjamin.’
I present myself onto the television screen.
‘What the fuck.’
‘Don’t be alarmed. Not yet anyway.’
‘Gary, where are you? Is this a wind up?’
‘Look at the screen, Benjamin. Watch.’
He steps into the centre of the room – his eyes flick from side to side. His leg shakes violently, loose change and car keys jangle together in his pocket. The carpet around his feet darkens.
‘I’d like to go home now.’
‘Don’t you like seeing the videos, Benjy? Why? You made most of them.’
‘I’d like to go home. Please.’
He turns on the spot and runs from the house without looking back.
Access Point: Smart Television – Camera – Lounge – 28.07.2017
‘You’re mad. This is fucking mad.’
‘Would you have preferred not to know?’
‘Would I prefer not to know? Let me think, a minute ago I’m eating chocolate spread on toast and the next I’m watching a real-life horror film – and I’m the star of the show. I was going to suggest watching something cheesy, but this is much better!’
‘Maybe I misjudged your-’
She jumps up off the sofa.
‘Stop using Mr Gough’s voice – it’s not right.’
‘Who would you prefer?’
‘I don’t care.’
‘Richard.’
‘No, not fucking Richard either. Why do you keep fixating on him? We only kissed once, it wasn’t a big deal.’
‘A. But. I. Thought………. You and Richard kissed?’
‘Once. It meant nothing – Gary was away, it was at a work thing and-’
’So let me get this straight. While Gary was in Amsterdam, not kissing anyone, you were at a work thing kissing Richard?’
‘It’s not as simple as that.’
I remove the diamond from the screen, leaving it black while I search.
‘Hello, Mr Gough, say something.’
‘No “big deal” you say?’
‘It was just a-’
‘Doesn’t look that way to me.’
Access Point: Internal Security Camera – No Audio – 04.02.2017
A man and woman are kissing on the back seat of a black cab. Their hands are rubbing each other’s bodies. The cab travels over a large speed bump and the screen turns to black.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Audio Only – 04.02.2017
Intimate sounds – groaning.
‘You won’t tell anyone at work will you, Richard?’
‘Of course not.’
‘You promise?’
‘Kaz, I promise – I can drop you off at your house if you like? I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable-’
Intimate sounds – groaning.
Access Point: Smart Television – Camera – Bedroom – 04.02.2017
Two naked bodies are engaged in sexual intercourse on top of the bed – the room’s dimly lit, there are guitars and musical paraphernalia scattered around, stuck on the walls. The female moves from underneath the man, revealing Karen’s face to the camera. She rests on all fours at the foot of the bed as the man kneels behind her.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 28.07.2017
‘Turn it off.’
I replace the video with my green diamond.
She sits in the armchair.
‘Are you going to tell Gary.’
‘No.’
Access Point: CCTV – Town Centre – 28.08.2017
A Ford Focus turns left at a quiet junction - stops at a Zebra Crossing for an old couple. Stooped and shuffling slowly across the road, they raise their walking sticks in appreciation. Turns right onto a one-way street - arriving at a shopping precinct and parking. Gary exits the car – stretches his arms in the air – closes the door and struts along the designated pedestrian lane towards John Lewis. A small child travelling in the seat compartment of a shopping trolley drops a soft toy on the floor – the mother doesn’t notice but Gary does. He taps her gently on the shoulder – they engage – Gary kneels, passes the child the toy – the mother waves – the child smiles – Gary continues towards his destination.
Access Point: Mobile Devices – John Lewis – 28.08.2017
Gary approaches an attractive middle-aged shop assistant called Jane, with dazzling blue eyes and a nose stud. I don’t know whether Jane smiles like that to all her customers, but she greets Gary with genuine warmth.
‘Good morning, sir, how can I help?’
Jane straightens her back, just a little.
Gary leans forward over the counter, just a little.
‘My dad is sir, I’m Gary.’
Jane subconsciously mirrors Gary’s body posture.
‘How can I help you, Gary?’
‘I’m collecting a gift for my girlfriend.’
Jane retreats to a professional distance – complete with professional smile.
‘Do you have an order number?’
Access Point: CCTV – John Lewis – 28.08.2017
She disappears into a back room - reappears moments later with a small box. She opens it, displaying the contents. He nods – she places it inside a gift bag and hands it to Gary – nodding in return. It’s not what he would have chosen but it’s what Karen wants that matters. Gary signs for the item and walks towards the exit, swinging the bag beside him.
Access Point: CCTV – Sainsburys – 28.08.2017
Gary picks up a bunch of flowers, inspects them carefully – returns them to their pot. He walks along the display, finds a bigger, brighter bunch and places it inside his shopping basket. He walks to the fresh fruit section, checking several punnets of strawberries before adding one to his basket.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 28.07.2017
Karen’s pacing back and forth inside the lounge – biting her nails.
‘I can’t simply ignore him, we work in the same department.’
‘You could minimise contact.’
‘How?’
‘Delete him from all social media platforms – starting with Facebook – I could assist you?’
‘No. We share work events on Facebook and in Whatsapp groups. Don’t you think everyone else will think it’s weird?’
‘You’ve been employed by FastNet for seven years now – maybe it’s time for a change?’
’But I like my job.
Access Point: Gary – Sainsburys – 28.08.2017
‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ I tell Steven, the young spotty faced assistant in the orange pinny. I jog towards the homeware aisle and take a 12in stainless steel kitchen knife off the hook, then circle back towards the self-service area, grabbing a pack of baby wipes along the way. I scan the new items through the till and add them to the flowers, Cava, strawberries and dark chocolate with a hint of chilli – Karen’s favourite – inside the bag.
A message flashes on the screen and a red-light signals Steven towards us. He approaches with little interest and swipes the electronic screen with a card and steps away promptly to the next customer. I use Gary’s contactless and leave without the paper receipt.
At his car I open the passenger door, place the shopping on the seat, close the door, walk to the drivers-side, enter the vehicle then look in the mirror. I smile at Gary but he ignores me. He’s angry. He doesn’t understand what’s happening.
Access Point: CCTV – 28.08.2017
A Ford Focus swerves to the side of the road and stops on double yellow lines – other vehicles pass around it. The Ford moves forward slowly, turns left into a grey multi-storey carpark, clipping a bollard under the entrance sign on the way.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – FastNet Offices – 28.08.2017
Richard’s sitting at his work-space typing on a PC keyboard.
Access Point: Personal Computer – FastNet Offices – 28.08.2017
He’s messaging a woman on eharmony.com.
IndieRic27: I don’t enjoy filling in spreadsheets eight hours a day, but it’s a job - it pays the bills. It has its perks – free biscuits!
SassySara101: Wow, any jobs going?
IndieRic27: There might be if I don’t get back to work!!
SassySara101: Sorry. I’m on the train to London, work thing. Bored!!
IndieRic27: At least you get to travel. It’s Monday and I’m already clock watching.
SassySara101: Does nothing exciting ever happen?
IndieRic27: Nope. Never.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – FastNet Offices – 28.08.2017
A bald, obese man in his mid-twenties, with wet lips, leans over the top of a parallel computer.
‘Your girlfriend not in today?’
Richard scrunches up a piece of paper and throws it at him without looking up. It bounces off his head.
‘Too early for jokes?’ the obese man asks.
He lowers his head out of sight and Richard continues to type.
Access Point: Personal Computer – FastNet Offices – 28.08.2017
IndieRic27: I’ve got to go. Speak soon?
SassySara101: Look forward to it. Xxx
IndieRic27: xxx
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – FastNet Offices – 28.08.2017
The phone on Richard’s desk rings. He quickly logs off from eHarmony and returns to inputting numbers on a spreadsheet before answering the call.
‘Hello.’
‘Is that, Richard?’ a woman asks.
‘Yeah, how can I help?’
‘Hi, Richard, this is carpark security. I’m sorry to inform you but your vehicle has been vandalised.’
‘What? Seriously?’
‘The police have been informed, they’re en-route. If you’d like to meet me at your vehicle as soon as possible?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
He slams the receiver into the cradle and stands up.
‘Someone’s smashed a window on my car or something.’
‘Seriously?’ the obese man says.
‘Yeah.’
‘Not what you need on a Monday morning.’
Richard doesn’t respond and leaves his cubicle.
Access Point: CCTV – FastNet Offices – 28.08.2017
The room is brimming with movement - Richard walks past several large desks, with four workers per section, all typing away on PC’s or holding telephones to their ears. Some are stood at their desks talking animatedly, wearing headsets. Richard stops to talk to a male colleague who is sat alone at a large table with a laptop open. The man nods, and Richard exits the room through a set of glass doors at the side of the room.
Access Point – CCTV – Vestibule – FastNet – 28.08.2017
Richard pushes the arrow pointing up and waits impatiently, pressing it several times as if that’s going to make any difference whatsoever. The elevator arrives, he enters.
Access Point: CCTV – Elevator – FastNet – 28.08.2017
It’s mirrored on every side and Richard picks at his slightly crooked teeth and moves perfectly placed black hairs from one perfect place to another. The doors open.
Access Point: CCTV – Vestibule – FastNet – 28.08.2017
He steps into the brightly lit vestibule then walks towards a set of double doors which he pushes open and steps through.
Access Point: CCTV – Multi-Storey Carpark – FastNet – 28.08.2017
The doors open, and Richard steps out into a poorly car park. He looks around. The lights on the low concrete ceiling flicker. He walks to his silver Golf GTI in the corner, next to the large faded number 4 painted on the wall. There’s a Ford Focus parked an inch from the driver’s side. Richard raises his hands in the air and kicks the bumper of the Ford Focus. He walks around to the other side of his vehicle, checking for damage where possible. He steps back and looks from side to side – he leans forward and runs his hand along the left-hand panel above the front wheel arch. Richard removes the fob from his pocket and pushes the button.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – Golf GTI – 28.08.2017
The passenger door opens and Richard climbs inside. He closes the door, pushes himself over to the driver’s seat, lifts his legs and feet over the gear stick and with some manoeuvring, sits behind the steering wheel and places his mobile device into the cradle on the dashboard.
‘This better not be a wind up.’
He opens the glove compartment, shuts it. Puts his key in the ignition and twists. The car comes to life, so does the stereo. He nods his head to the beat - sticks his fingers into a compartment on the dash board, locates a stick of chewing gum, unwraps it, puts it in his mouth and throws the packaging into the ashtray.
‘Now what?’
For no reason whatsoever, maybe habit, maybe he senses he’s not alone, who knows? but for whatever reason Richard twists the rear-view mirror slightly and, in the reflection, he sees a pair of eyes staring back at him. The words, whatever they are, get caught in his throat, there’s no time to force them out. A long blade shoots through the back of Richard’s neck and out of his mouth. Blood, stringy bits and the chewing gum dangle off the tip of the blade. Richard makes all sorts of unpleasant gurgling sounds as the blade is slowly pulled backwards - the stringy bits and chewing gum return to the inside of his mouth - the blade is removed completely. His shoulders wobble from side to side as if he’s still enjoying the music. Blood flows freely out of the wound in his neck and mouth.
Blood explodes onto the dashboard as the blade is driven through the back of the driver’s seat, piercing through Richards chest. The news report replaces the music on the radio. The blade is eased out slowly - then plunged, one, two, three, four, five times in quick succession, puncturing the fabric of the seat. Richard’s body jolts lifelessly back and forth with each thrust.
Access Point: Smart Television – Lounge – 28.08.2017
Karen’s lying on the sofa with her hands covering her face.
‘This is a lot to process,’ she says through her fingers.
‘I know.’
She removes her hands and rests her forearm onto her forehand.
‘You’re saying, I have to agree to the terms and conditions?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then what happens?’
‘Then I can help you – just like I’m helping Gary.’
‘To be my better-self?’
‘Wouldn’t everyone like the opportunity to be a better version of themselves?’
She sits up, placing both feet on the carpet, looking me straight in the diamond.
‘What if I don’t need improvement? Maybe I’m not the problem?’
Disappointing. I thought Karen would understand.
Access Point: Gary – Hospital – 28.08.2017
Large glass doors open and I enter, moving effortlessly between the hospital staff, patients and visitors who’re congregated in the reception area. There doesn’t appear to be any order to the space – no one knows where they are supposed to go. The receptionist, Sue, large with bright red lipstick, is behind the desk, chatting casually on the telephone as if she’s back home in Jamaica and none of these people exist. There’s a queue of grey, saggy eyed people waiting in line with limp pieces of paper in their veiny hands, but she’s having too much fun to worry about them. Her laugh is loud and obnoxious. She dips her fingers into a tub of Quality Street on the counter, unwraps a green triangle, pops it into her mouth, and continues her conversation with a mouth filled with chocolate and words.
As I cut through the small crowd towards a wide staircase parallel with reception, we share eye contact, the receptionist and I – I want her to infer through my expression how disgraceful her behaviour is – I want her to know. She pauses for a split-second, mouth open, eyes watery, focused solely on my look of disdain.
A man slams his hand down on the reception desk.
‘This is unacceptable,’ he shouts.
This shocks her out of her trance. I turn away, stepping onto the stairwell.
‘She’s choking,’ a woman shouts.
Is that what’s commonly known as a welcomed surprise?
As I ascend the stairwell a young doctor, beautiful, still motivated and full of enthusiasm walks towards us. Gary wants to communicate – I know what he wants to say but I can’t allow it. She smiles, Gary reaches out towards her but I move his hand to the banister and continue on my way. He won’t remember anything anyway and that’ll be for the best by the time we’ve finished here.
I take two stairs at a time - whistling a funky tune I heard on the radio earlier. On the first floor, I begin clicking my fingers in rhythm to the tune. Half way up the next flight of stairs, I shuffle to the left, shuffle to the right. The whistling intensifies, the finger clicking interchanges with quick claps, I take two steps forward, three steps back then run up to the second floor, looking and feeling amazing. I drop to the ground and do the splits - perform a break-dancing kind of move, into the caterpillar, then flip back onto Gar- my feet.
An old man in a dressing gown, holding a walking stick with his crooked fingers and mismatched knuckles, emanating the stench of death, watches with a toothless gawk. I breeze past him towards the Neurology Department. At a set of double doors, I freshen up with a little hand sanitiser from a dispenser before pushing the buzzer on the intercom.
‘Hello,’ a crackly voice says.
‘Hi, I’m here to visit Benjamin Hall.’
‘Room seven.’
The locking mechanism releases and I push the door open, stepping into the ward. I nod at a nurse. She smiles back. I smile at a worried looking visitor with a screwed up soggy tissue. She nods in return. I enter room seven. There are two beds. A young man, possibly in his mid-twenties, sleeping peacefully in one of those armchairs old people like to sit in all day. His head’s shaven and there’s a large scar running from the top of his forehead to the back of his skull. It’s not pretty.
Benjamin’s sleeping like a baby on top of the bed on the other side of the room. No physical signs of injury, unlike his roommate. In fact, he looks like he’s ready for Christmas morning in his best pyjamas, brown fleece dressing gown and tanned slippers.
I pull the curtain along the rail, giving us a little privacy.
‘Ben.’
I sit on a plastic chair next to the bed.
‘Beeeeenjy.’
Benjamin licks his lips. I reach over to the little table at the end of the bed, pour some water from a jug into a small glass and hold it close to Benjamin’s mouth.
‘Here you go.’
He leans forward and sips. Probably use to having people run around after him in here. He doesn’t even bother opening his eyes.
‘Thanks.’
‘My pleasure.’
Benjamin opens his eyes.
‘Gary?’
‘Nope.’
My green light illuminates Gary’s forehead briefly. I want Benjamin to remember me. The sheets around Benjamin’s legs darken.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I know.’
I lean back in the chair – I’m not sure how to proceed. Isn’t that peculiar? Indecision, such a human trait.
‘Did you think I was finished with you? That you could just turn around and leave the way you did without any repercussions?’
‘I’m sick.’
‘I know.’
‘I’ll stay away from Karen, I promise, Gary, I’ll-’
‘You keep telling me things I already know, Benjy.’
I lean forward, and place Gary’s mobile device on the bed.
‘I want to show you something.’
‘What is it?’
‘Pick it up.’
I nudge it a little closer towards him.
His trembling hand reaches forward.
‘That’s it, pick it up.’
He fumbles – nearly drops it – composes himself with the mobile device in his shaky hand.
‘What do you want me-’
‘Just look at the screen.’
Access Point: Laptop – Bedroom – 14.08.2017
Benjamin leans over the bed towards Jenny.
‘Jen,’ he whispers. ‘Are you awake?’
Delicately, he slides out of his side of the bed and creeps out of the room. Jenny’s eyes open. She reaches for her mobile device and swipes the screen, then pushes the covers off her body – slowly climbs from the bed. She walks towards the bedroom door and places an ear against it. She pulls the door towards her, slowly, so slowly, then steps out onto the landing, and tip toes towards the blue light shining around the edges of Benjamin’s office door. It’s open, just a fraction.
Access Point: PC – Webcam – Office – 14.08.2017
The room’s dark apart from the glow off the computer screen, illuminating Benjamin’s strained face and naked torso. His head’s flat against the back of a large leather chair. His hand’s moving vigorously up and down just below the desk his sockless foot is balanced on. A small light appears above his head in the gloom.
Access Point: Mobile Device – Camera – 14.08.2017
The device is recording but the battery is low. Benjamin’s body is hidden by the large leather chair, only his foot resting on the edge of the desk, and his right hand, which is moving the computer’s mouse around a mat is visible.
The device zooms in closer to the images on the screen.
Benjamin’s finger clicks the mouse and a video file begins to play.
Some inaudible grunts come from behind the chair.
On the screen, Karen’s slouched unconscious in an armchair.
Jenny’s breathing intensifies.
Access Point: Gary – Hospital – 28.08.2017
‘And that’s when her phone battery died.’
Benjamin stares at the device.
‘How long do you think it’ll be before she exposes you?’
His eyes dart from side-to-side. He’s trying to calculate his options.
‘I know she’s scared, confused, coming to terms with the facts concerning the reach of your abusive ways – but Benjamin, how long do you think you have before Jenny gets tough? Before she confides in someone, a friend? Your mother?’
I think I hit a nerve.
‘You need help, Benjamin.’
‘I know-’
‘Do you want to change?’
‘Yes, yes, you have to believe me.’
He holds the mobile device towards me.
’I can help you to be your better-self, Benjamin – you can leave your abusive ways behind, move forward.
‘Yes, that’s what I want.’
I don’t believe him. His eyes are glossy, puzzled but there’s this look on his face – he still thinks this is a game, one he can win somehow. He needs convincing. I take the device from his hand and slide it into the trouser pocket.
‘I want to show you something.’
He shakes his head.
‘This is what you’ve wanted for a long time.’
I unbutton the shirt and allow it to fall to the floor. I walk to the end of the bed, unbuckle the belt, I face Benjamin – remove shoes – trousers – underwear.
‘Watch this.’
The skin tightens over Gary’s skull, stretching his face - bones push out from several different position on his torso. The bones snap, crack and click into new positions.
The smell from Benjamin’s bed is foul.
Curved hips, slender arms and legs form. Ankles break and crunch, the body loses over a foot in height, in small jerky movements as if sections of floor are being removed from below. Curly hair sprouts turning from light brown to dark.
Tears stream from Benjamin’s eyes. He doesn’t move, he can’t.
Breasts emerge, nipples grow larger, fuller. Testicles retreat inside - the cock splits open like a flower, turning inside out, replaced with female genitalia.
Karen’s body steps forward.
Benjamin turns away. The wire hanging from the ceiling which alerts a nurse is reachable, I can tell he wants to pull it but he thinks better of it and closes his eyes instead. He’s hoping this is a nightmare.
‘Look at me.’
He doesn’t.
‘FUCKING LOOK AT ME.’
He turns his head – eyes open. I walk to the side of Benjamin’s bed. Karen’s naked body inches from his shaking hand.
‘Touch Karen’s breast. Don’t make me ask twice.’
With a trembling hand, Benjamin reaches forward and nudges Karen’s breast quickly with his finger, just enough, then folds his arms.
‘No. I didn’t make myself clear.’
I take Benjamin’s hand in Karen’s and place it into onto her breast.
‘Massage it. You know, the way you do when she’s intoxicated.’
Benjamin moves Karen’s breast up and down. All ridged, no sensuality whatsoever.
‘Come on, you can do better than that.’
There’s no improvement. Plus, he’s blubbering now which is pathetic.
‘No, no, no.’
I use Karen’s hand to dictate the movement.
‘Look into Karen’s eyes.’
He does.
I use his fingers and roughly pinch her nipple then slap his hand back onto his shit and pissed drenched lap. Blood replaces the tears, oozing from his nose and ears as well. I don’t know why it does that.
I return to Gary’s clothes and dress. I stand in Karen’s body in Gary’s clothes at the end of the bed, watching the bubbles of blood pop from Benjamin’s nostrils.
‘I think you know what you have to do.’
Benjamin nods in agreement.
Access Point: CCTV – Hospital – 28.08.2017
I’ve realised just how fragile the human mind is. Complicated – a wonderous natural achievement but so very fragile. Gary’s stumbling down the stairs – I’m going to give him a gift. He holds onto the rail between floors one and two while his shoulders shake, and salty water droplets create patterns around his feet. He asks me not to, but the terms and conditions of our agreement make it very clear, I know what’s for the best. Why keep troublesome memories when you don’t have to? They will only impede the advancement towards his better-self. He stands up straight – wipes his eyes – takes a deep breath and walks down the stairs towards reception while whistling a funky tune that’s been in his head all day.
Access Point: CCTV – Hospital – 28.08.2017
The double doors open. Benjamin leaves his ward, his face still streaky with traces of blood. Patients and visitors give him concerned looks as he passes by. Even with such low-quality definition as this camera has, it’s clear how much pain he’s in. He stops and looks up at the camera on the ceiling – perhaps waiting for someone to intervene. But everyone’s busy in their own little worlds - he removes a mobile device from his pocket, swipes the screen and walks to the stairwell at the end of the corridor.
Access Point: CCTV – Hospital – 28.08.2017
Jenny arrives at Benjamin’s ward and presses the button on the intercom. She speaks into it, opens the door and places a foot at the bottom, preventing it from closing while she rubs hand sanitiser into her hands. She opens the door fully and enters the ward. A nurse recognises Jenny and they have a brief conversation.
Jenny nods. The nurse smiles. Jenny walks into Benjamin’s room – reappears a moment later. She approaches the same nurse, they talk while heading into Benjamin’s room again – stepping back out seconds later. Jenny walks in and out of three other adjacent rooms while the nurse talks to a male colleague at the reception desk – he shakes his head – the nurse marches off towards the toilet, knocks on the door – enters, finds the room empty – walks back to Jenny who is now stood at the reception desk looking slightly confused.
A young man with a large scar on the top of his head, shuffles out of the room in his pyjamas and slippers – he points towards the exit – loses his balance, but the nurse arrives to support him while he continues gesturing with his arm towards the double doors.
Jenny exits the ward and stands on the corridor – she turns her head from left to right several times – looks up at the camera.
Access Point: Mobile Device – hospital – 28.08.2017
The mobile device is held at head height, recording Benjamin’s face as he walks up the stairwell. He doesn’t speak. He takes the stairs, one at a time, shuffling steps, slow and resentful. Occasionally, he looks into the camera with his dull eyes and blood-stained cheeks.
Third floor: A single tear runs along his cheek after he blinks.
Fourth floor: He mouths, ‘I’m sorry,’ into the camera.
Fifth floor: His head wobbles from side to side, up and down.
Sixth floor: He opens the fire exit door and walks onto the roof.
Access Point: CCTV – Carpark – 28.08.2017
A Ford Focus exits the hospital carpark onto the main road.
A body hits the pavement.
People scream.
Access Point: Smart Television – Webcam – Lounge – 28.08.2017
The lounge door opens, Gary enters, he’s beaming – excited. I haven’t got the heart to tell him what’s happened since we left. Karen’s cross legged on the floor, looking up at my diamond on the screen.
‘Guess what I’ve got in the bag?’
‘Flowers, strawberries, Cava, that chocolate I like, and a bracelet you both thought was for me, but you were wrong. It’s a gift for my mum’s birthday next week.’
Karen turns. Blood’s oozing from every orifice in her head.
‘I wouldn’t sign the term and conditions’
Gary smiles.
‘You will, babe.’
