A fine, nightmarish journey.

"This piece has a lot going for it. It captures the endless drone of a commute, the claustrophobia of the car on the road, and the nagging sense of dread that comes from being in a scary situation. There's a lot of potential to turn this into a Bradbury-esque terror fable of ghosts and looping routine. I think that the piece suffers from some distancing and repetition issues. Many of the sentences start with "She_" and it starts feeling more like a list of stuff that happened, rather than an actual story. Because of that structure, we lose some of the intimacy that we need with Shelly so that the ending has the maximum impact. Still there's a lot of good stuff here. It just needs a little polish."