Chapter 1
My name is Auristela Allisya Kiehl, I went to school at SMAN 61 Jakarta, next Friday I graduated from high school. after graduating I decided to study in Germany. When I told my father that I would continue my studies there, my father was very happy. I said this to my mother. my mother objected to my decision but I insisted and finally my mother allowed it even though halfheartedly.
I’m of mixed Indonesian-German descent. both of my parents divorced when I was 10 years old. At that time I quite understood what it meant to be divorced, I felt sad and disappointed. I don’t want them divorced and my parents know that. They told me that they also didn’t want this to happen, but to be a good parent for me this was the way they had to choose. They just don’t want to hurt me because I often hear their debates. they also say they still love each other, they just stop hurting each other because they also don’t want to hurt me. even though they separated they would still be my parents and always love me. Someday I will understand, that’s what my parents said. after the divorce I lived in Indonesia with my mother and my father returned to Germany.
For 7 years I was separated from my father. Once a week my father called me to ask how I was and vice versa. I really want to meet him and hug him. I miss him so much, because all this time I can only see his face while on a video call and hear his voice by telephone.
I contacted my father, told him to come to my graduation program. but my father could not come to Indonesia because my grandmother was sick and my father could not leave her. actually I was disappointed but I tried to understand the situation.
since my mother got married about 2 years ago, I began to feel uncomfortable living with her. not because I don’t like my mother remarrying but I don’t want to spoil her happiness. I’m happy my mother can find happiness again. I want my mother to enjoy her life and I don’t want to be a burden for her.
another case with my father, until now he hasn’t remarried. either because they haven’t found a suitable partner or indeed don’t want to remarry. my dad isn’t too open to me. my father was also very economical in speaking, he would only talk when he wanted to talk.
I can’t wait, it feels like I want to get past my graduation program, fly to Germany and meet my father. Another reason why I want to go to Germany is because I want to be closer to my father and pass the days with him. My father only has me, while my mother has someone who can take care and protect her.
