Twined Hearts

New Years Eve 2014, Winnifred

The year was turning. Champagne bubbled in our glasses, and a turkey was resting on the sideboard. I’d never made one before. But, it was a lucky night so I was sure It would be delicious. Win lit the candles and pulled back my chair. I sat, and my skirt fell in a pool of burgundy velvet around my feet—beautiful but alarming as spilled wine. I wiggled my bare toes in the luxurious fabric enjoying the softness against bare skin.

Win looked so young in the soft light. People never believed we were twins. Even as a child, I was always taken for several years older. Win’s baby face was deceptive. At twenty-two, those round cheeks and the shock of blond hair that fell in his eyes, allowed him to pass for an adolescent. As twins we are distinctly unmatched. I am as dark as he is fair. But, this evening we were perfectly aligned. My renaissance dress was juxtaposed by the strange jewelry of tattoos across my shoulders and down my arms, and Win’s vintage tuxedo jacket and custom silk shirt was paired with torn jeans and motorcycle boots.

I’d placed a huge bouquet of white roses, our favorite flower, in the center of the table. Through the French doors, the Christmas tree gleamed in the living room. There were no servants—I would never say that word out loud, but in this house that is what they were—to disturb us. I paid the regulars to stay away for the holidays, and hired a temporary crew to come on call. We had the palace to ourselves. Although it wasn’t a palace in the traditional sense of the word, in Chicago a five bedroom house, steps from Lake Michigan with enough acreage for a pool, tennis courts, a guest house and gym is the stuff of fairy tales.

“Freddie, should we fix our plates? The turkey smells fantastic,” Win snapped the white linen napkin, a Dubios family heirloom, from the holder with a flourish and laid it across his lap.

“Not yet. We need to make a toast.”

“Of course, how could I forget that. New Year’s Eve is all about toasts, kisses, and resolutions, isn’t it?”

It had been snowing all day, and I was caught up in the magical silence. A sudden gust of wind slapped the branches of the giant oak tree outside the dining room against the window. From under the table came a yowl and skitter of claws on wood.

“Weezer, what’s the matter with you. It’s just the wind.” Win scooped up the distraught Siamese and settled her in his lap.

I raised my glass. The gold bubbles could augur nothing but happiness. Win raised his. “To empty chairs,” I tilted my flute to the seat at the head of the table and the one at the foot. Win did the same. We clinked and drained our glasses in a single gulp.

I refilled our champagne. “To Winston and Winnifred. Twinned at birth. Twined in heart and twisted in imagination.” Then, I kissed my brother on his cheek. There was no one else in the world like him, except, perhaps me.

“What a beautiful toast Freddie. You’re always so clever.”

We clinked again and just as I was about to swallow, the simpering ping of our suburban doorbell broke the New Year’s spell.”

“Don’t answer,” said Win. “Who comes to visit uninvited on New Year’s Eve?”

“The ghost of Christmas past,” I said. I finished my champagne. “Come on. Let’s try that turkey.” We got up and took our plates to the buffet. The doorbell rang again. And, then again.

“Shit, they’re not going away. I bet it’s those people who just moved in to the Farley place down the road. When I was getting the mail the other day, this guy made a point of leaning out of his car and shouting ‘Hi neighbor!’ to me as he drove by. He was waving so frantically, he almost crashed into a lamp post. I thought he was just some crazy—they’re everywhere. I hope this isn’t going to be a pattern. Who should go?”

“We should just ignore it,” I said. “If whoever it is gets offended, they deserve it.”

The bell rang again.

“Ok, now I’m curious. I have to see who’s out there.” Win put the cat on the floor, ran a hand through his hair and stood.

“You charm them away,” I said. “I’m incapable. I just want to tell them to fuck off. But be careful. Look through the peephole first.If you see a gun, don’t let them in,” I laughed. Although it didn’t really seem funny. Strangers at the door always make me uneasy.

Win took a breath and headed to the hall.

I heard the New Year’s greetings, the rustle of packages, and then Win saying, “We were just sitting down to dinner,” the cue for them to apologize for disturbing us and leave.

“No worries.” The voice was deep, masculine and authoritative. “We just wanted to toast our neighbors and introduce ourselves. Look the bottle’s open, and we’ve brought glasses.”

“How kind.” Win’s voice was flat.

“We won’t stay long, I promise.”

To my complete astonishment, I heard Win say, “Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque, a favorite. Come in.”For some reason, the admonition about a vampire needing to be invited to cross your threshold came to mind. But the man who interrupted our New Year’s dinner was more Professor Van Helsing than Dracula. He was short, ruddy and brimming with annoying enthusiasm. Whether it was the cold or some skin condition that made his cheeks scarlet was impossible to tell. He looked as though he’d just heard some very funny joke and was about to burst out laughing.

“We’re your new neighbors. We just moved into the Farley house. Loving it. What a great place. Well, I’m sure you’ve been inside. But you’ll have to see what we’ve done. Taken it to a new level. I’m Neal Blankenship, and this is my wife Elise.” He had the kind of resonate, dramatic voice that I associate with those old newsreels from the World War II era.

Elise moved out from behind her short husband’s shadow. She looked as though Neal’s exuberance had sucked the life out of her. She was a wraith whose complexion and hair were as pale as the beige fur coat wrapped tightly around her slight frame. Who wears fur any more? Were they time travelers? Aliens in disguise? Without being invited they both removed their coats and hung them on the coat tree by the door. I was surprised Elise was being so cavalier with her expensive fur.

“Wonderful to meet you,” she whispered.

The hand she extended was cold as a corpse. I dropped it immediately. “Please have a seat.” I said with a sinking heart, indicating the empty chairs at the table. I wondered how long it would take to get rid of them. Win picked up the cat again and took a seat at the head of the table as though that might give him the authority he needed to throw them out.

“Now, let’s have some of this wonderful champagne. Elise, the glasses,” Neal gestured at a tote bag that Elise was carrying. She extracted a fancy red gift box stamped with the Neiman Marcus logo and handed it to me.

I unwrapped four Baccarat crystal glasses. “These are lovely, you’ll have to take them home with you.” I refused to be indebted to these clowns.

“Oh, we couldn’t do that,” whispered Elise. “They’re for you. A sort of reverse welcome. It’s our little tradition whenever we move to a new neighborhood.”

“I wasn’t sure whether that was a dig or not. Did she think that we should have visited first with a tray of brownies. Now, we’d never get rid of them.”

“Well, Cheers.” Win raised his glass.

“To friendship,” said Neal.

I wanted to vomit. No way were we going to see these people ever again.Instead, I raised my glass and we toasted around the table. Win and I chugged, and Neal and Elise sipped.

“We’ve heard such interesting things about you,” said Elise. Her voice was so soft I had to strain to understand. I wondered if she was doing it purposely to be annoying.

Win raised an eyebrow, “What could you have heard?Freddie and I don’t socialize much, at least not in this neighborhood.

“Well, I guess you could say you’re notorious.”

The guy had balls. But why? Were they tabloid reporters in disguise or something worse. I thought we had outrun them all. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I said.

“Oh, you know that whole business with the nanny,” said Neal.“I’m sorry, Elise didn’t mean to bring it up.Did you Elise?”

“No, of course not. Let’s enjoy our champagne,” said Elise.

I could feel the blush beginning at my collar bones. In a minute my entire face would be bright red. It’s what happens when I’m angry. But, the gloves were off, I no longer needed to pretend to be polite. “You know, Win and I were just about to eat dinner. In fact, I’ll probably need to warm the turkey up. Perhaps we could visit another time. Maybe a drink at the Saddle and Cycle.”

“Oh, of course,” said Neal. “We just wanted to meet our neighbors. Come on Elise. We don’t want to keep the Evil Twins any longer.

Had I heard him correctly? When you’ve never met a person, it’s hard to gage their intentions. I wasn’t sure whether Neal’s reference to the media’s poisonous name for us was meant to be mean, humorus, threatening or a really stupid mistake.

“Oh, forgive me! Really, I’m so sorry. I watch too much TV. Elise, get your coat. We should go.”

Neal might be a lot of things. But I knew he wasn’t sorry. Win and I were silent. Weezer had the last word. When Elise shot out of her chair and made a dash for the coat tree, the cat arched her back, raised her tail and yowled.

The turkey was cold, and the lucky night I imagined had vanished as quickly as the pristine snow on Neal’s boots. He’d left a trail of muddy footprints behind.