What is your opinion?
children of the earth
"Wow just WOW! That was a heart racing ride. It hooks you at word one right through to the end. Strong characters and powerful offering. I love the dialect, I am from the south and I strive to write in my "native" tongue if you will. The story was fun with the banter, scary with the unknown watcher, the knowing Hawk and the strong discussion of beliefs as for right or wrong through the eyes of two young boys. The only issue I had was the structure of your layout. It was a very, very long blocked chapter. Again, WOW! Thank you for sharing. Love to all readers and writers."
Enjoyable
"The imagery and the sensory descriptions used within the short story are well used and not over done. A subtle comparison between the hawk and the snake and the boys and the man was a great added touch. Perhaps one sentence stood out as awkward to me. "Laying in waiting..." Would it be, "Laying in wait?" Honestly, the only thing I could find to mention and that was me being picky. Overall, I really enjoyed how the author introduced the characters and carried the story from start to finish. The tone of voice with the boys was steady and nothing felt out of place. Their conversations were deep and to the point, giving the reader something further to think about. The characters felt solid and the moment of interaction between all three left how the situation ended to the readers imagination. A really good ending and a really good short story."
Impressive Style and Atmosphere
"You were able to very successfully develop a distinct atmosphere in the piece and maintain it throughout, which is very impressive in itself, and the inclusion of the vivid sensory descriptions was extremely tasteful and stylistic and further added significant value to the piece. Additionally, the dialogue was very well done from its use to advance the plot to the successful imitation of the spoken vernacular. Overall, your writing style was profoundly mature and Impressive. My only criticism was that I found the plot to be a little slow at points but overall, it was a great piece that I thoroughly enjoyed reading from start to finish!"
