His Guilty Pleasure

SUMMER: GABBY

“No.” I stare my stepmother in the eyes, daring her to challenge me. “I am not spending my summer with Leo Hamilton. Actually, I take that back. I will. When Hell freezes over.”

Janice brushes a strand of red hair behind her ear and rolls her eyes. “Quit being so dramatic, Gabrielle. It’s not the whole summer, it’s a month. And he’s just a boy.”

“Correction: he is Satan.”

“We’re going. It was very nice of Vanessa to invite us up there.”

“But--”

Janice’s eyes widen and her lips thin, and I know to be quiet. I may be angry but I don’t have a death wish. I stomp my foot. “God! Fine!”

“Get packed.”

“Get packed.” I mimic, spinning on my heel and marching to my room. Angrily, I start to yank things out of my closet and throw them into one of my three suitcases. If I’m spending the stupid summer in the stupid Hamptons with stupid Leo, I’m not packing light. I must be making a ruckus because Bianca comes into the room, giving me a glare.

“Can you stop stomping everywhere, you freaking diva? I’m trying to read.” My older sister crosses her arms and purses her lips. She’s going to be a freshman in college after this summer and I’m going to be a senior, so of course she assumes she’s in charge.

“Too bad, so sad.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t want to go to the friggin Hamptons.”

“What the Hell, Gabby? Do you hear yourself? We’re spending summer in the Hamptons. Do you know how privileged we are?”

“You volunteered at the homeless shelter once, Bianca. And it was only because you had to for school. Stop talking about privilege like you’ve ever experienced being anything less than it.”

Bianca frowns at me. Ever since she started dating this guy, Juan, she’s been pretending to be an intellectual. That’s who she is--she changes herself for guys. She dated pretty much our entire school’s football team and for the longest time she was a ditzy blonde who gave handjobs under the bleachers. She dated my best friend Camille’s brother, a creative type named Kingston, and all of the sudden she was a starving artist. Now, she’s an activist that attends poetry slams. I give it another week before Juan dumps her.

“Whatever.” She pouts. “Just keep it down.”

I continue to pack, making sure to be extra loud. Let Bianca and her big brain take that.

Janice’s Range Rover is packed to the brim. Dad couldn’t come so she has our pit bull mix, Layla, sitting up front with her. She got the okay from Leo’s mom, Vanessa, to bring her along. Haley, Bianca, and I are stuffed together in the second row since the third row is cluttered with suitcases, makeup boxes, snack bags, Layla’s chew toys and dog bed, and whatever else Janice felt like packing. I think I even see a hatchet in there somewhere. Kurt, our step brother, is driving separately because he has one last lacrosse game, so luckily we have one less body to haul. Thankfully, the Hamptons is only a couple hours drive from Manhattan, so I don’t have to listen to Bianca prattle on about Juan and Haley belt along to whatever horrible country music she is feeling at the moment. I try to read but the roads are so curvy and I’m so crammed that I feel too sick to keep my eyes trained on the words. Instead, I sit in silence for two hours, mentally preparing myself for the Hell that this summer is going to be.

I almost kiss the ground when we arrive at the mansion. Unlike Manhattan, the Hamptons have real, live space in between the houses and the New York City sounds that have become a constant in my life are gone, leaving only the sounds of birds chirping and waves crashing. The mansion is breathtaking, but I would expect nothing less from the Hamilton family. It’s an ivory color with vines that seem to go on forever. The lawn is immaculate and the house is all windows and marble. It’s beautiful, there’s no denying it. In fact, if it hadn’t been tainted by Leo Hamilton, this might have been my dream home.

Emerging from the double doors comes a willowy, brunette woman. She’s wearing a white gown that leads me to believe she’s going to a gala and not greeting an old friend. Janice, with her hair tied up and in her t-shirt and sweats, runs to the otherworldly woman and embraces her.

"That’s Leo’s mom?” I turn to Bianca and Haley who look entirely unfazed. They’re used to being surrounded by beautiful people. I’m not used to being around people, period.

Mrs. Hamilton and Janice break their embrace and both turn to us.

“My goodness, Haley, how you’ve grown! You look breathtaking!” Mrs. Hamilton steps to my youngest sister. Haley is only a year younger than me but is far more beautiful. She’s got legs for days, curly blond hair, green cat eyes, and an elven nose. She knows she’s gorgeous, too.

“You look beautiful. Absolutely radiant.” Mrs. Hamilton tells Bianca, wrapping her in a hug, and then her eyes land on me. Bianca is a classic kind of beauty, with big hazel eyes and rosy cheeks and dirty blond hair. She has a beauty mark above the corner of her lip and looks like Blake Lively’s twin. I resent her for it.

“Wow, Gabrielle! You look so...nice.” Mrs. Hamilton takes a step forward and gives me a half hearted hug, stepping back quickly.

I know she doesn’t mean to be rude, but I am able to pick up on when a person finds me particularly disgusting. Like when they describe my sisters as beautiful and radiant and breathtaking and I just look ‘nice.’ Or when they go in for a huge hug with a tight squeeze to my skinny, pretty sisters and then give me a one armed embrace before pulling away. She likely doesn’t realize she’s doing these things, but I do. And it hurts.

“Where’s Kurt?” Mrs. Hamilton questions, putting a hand on her dainty hip. “I was so looking forward for him to get acquainted with Leonardo. I think they’d be fast friends.”

“He’ll be here after lacrosse.” Janice promises, before turning to us. “Let’s unpack, ladies!” Janice squeals, Layla lets out a happy bark, and the girls shriek with excitement to be in the Hamptons--where the wealthiest of the wealthy vacation. I let out a sigh. A long, exaggerated sigh. And no one notices.

They never do.

We eat dinner in silence until Haley finally speaks up.

“Where’s Leo?” She questions, cocking her head in curiousity. Mrs. Hamilton gently sets her fork on her plate and wipes her mouth with a silk napkin.

“A very good question, dear.” She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Probably out in the town, chasing after pretty girls like he does every summer. I haven’t told him about your family coming to stay with us for the month. He’ll be very pleased.” Mrs. Hamilton purposely eyes Haley and Bianca, no doubt weighing up the two and deciding which she would like to see on her son’s arm. She doesn’t so much as glance at me, and I don’t mind. I hate Leo Hamilton more than I hate my mother, which says a lot.

Just then, the door to the dining room bursts open, and in comes Leo with a pretty brunette wrapped around him. She has a golden tan and yellow eyes, full lips painted purple, a perky nose and perky breasts which are very noticeable as she is wearing a bikini and nothing else. When Leo sees us all, his eyes widen. He clearly hasn’t anticipated guests.

“Mom!” Leo frowns. “I didn’t think the dining room would be occupied. We just wanted to get a snack...”

“Who might this be, darling?” Leo’s mom asks, her smile unwavering.

“This...is Phoebe.” Leo speaks after some hesitation. “We met at the beach.”

“I can see that. Did she forget her clothes?”

“I...” Leo is clearly at a loss for words. I turn to see my family’s reaction, but Bianca and Haley are just looking at him with heart eyes and Janice is on her phone, presumably texting my dad about how much she misses him and how positively boring life is without him. Barf.

“--and then join us.” Mrs. Hamilton finishes. I blanked out on what she was saying, but the girl is crying and Leo looks very sheepish. He nods and he and his girl turn to leave. Before he exits, though, he turns back one more time. I expect his eyes to land on Bianca or Haley who both stare at him adoringly, but he only glances at them before his eyes land on me.

And then he smiles.

The asshole who has made high school a living Hell for me looks me right in the eyes and he smiles.

I can’t stop thinking about Leo. Or, more specifically, how he’s treated me in school. Before this summer, I was a junior. Now I guess I’m technically a senior, even if school hasn’t started yet. I remember when he moved here sophomore year and, the second Leo learned my name, he told everyone to call me “Flabby Gabby.” That stuck all throughout sophomore year. He and his friends would never full on bully me but they’d make snide remarks whenever they saw me. It wasn’t like they pursued me to make fun of, it was more of a thing where if they saw me, they’d have at it. Bianca was a popular senior my junior year, technically still this year, but she never tried to stop the bullying which has persisted. Haley is the grade below me, she’s going to be a junior now, and she was too scared to stand up for me too.

I hate Leo Hamilton.

But most of all, I hate how no one cared enough to stick up for me.

The first week and a half has been fairly uneventful. Bianca broke up with Juan, much to my surprise (she’s usually the one being dumped), and went after Leo. Then he dumped her and went after my younger sister, Haley. I thought she was smarter than to fall for his charms, but she was head over heels for him until he dumped her too. Now that they’ve gotten Leo out of their system (or so they insist), they stick to hanging out with one another. I’ve always been the odd sister out. My step brother, Kurt, has just discovered weed so we don’t see much of him this summer. I can’t believe Janice hasn’t noticed, but maybe she has and chooses not to care. Kurt is kind of a lost cause. I have no idea where Leo is, not that I’m eager to see him anyways. Janice spends her time with Mrs. Hamilton so I am left alone.

On the Monday of week two, I decide that I’m done lounging around inside all of the time. I decide to braid my hair, swipe on some lipstick, and tan by the pool. I put on a skimpy black one piece and walk through the summer home, enjoying the sound of my feet padding along the stone floors, until I reach the porch. At first, I’m awestruck, because the curtains are billowing down and so the porch looks as if it has walls. White, flowy walls with light coming through. It’s really beautiful--something out of the Buchanan’s house in The Great Gatsby. Then, I push my way past the curtains and freeze. There, right before my eyes, is Leo Hamilton.

I’ve managed to avoid him ever since that first encounter in the dining room, which was easy as he sleeps until noon most days and then goes out. Today, it seems, I have no such luck.

He’s not wearing a shirt so his abs are in full display. His wavy black hair is slicked back with pool water and his baby blue eyes are scanning me up and down. His chiseled jaw clenches and he bites a full lip. Is he...is he checking me out? No, that can’t be. He’s the one that started the Flabby Gabby nickname. He finds me repulsive.

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, let’s all just look at how fat Flabby Gabby is, huh?”

He studies me and my stomach clenches. There’s something different about him, the contempt that is usually in his eyes when he sees me is gone. “You look beautiful.” He smiles softly. My eyes widen. What is he up to?

He must be trying to pull a prank. Well, I can play along too.

I go and sit on the edge of his pool chair. “Well, Leo, aren’t you just full of surprises?”

"Wouldn’t you like to know, Gabby Hampton.”

I momentarily break my facade. I have to know why he’s being so kind all of the sudden. Just a few weeks ago, he and his friends were screaming in the halls because a ‘beached whale’ was in the school. “What are you playing at?”

He leans so close that I can smell his minty breath as it fans my face. “Why don’t you come a little closer and see?” He shuts his eyes and moves to close the gap between our lips. Before he can, I lurch back and giggle.

“What?” Is all I can say. I’m at a loss for words, so I just giggle some more. “Are you kidding me? You make my social life a living Hell and now you want to kiss me?”

His beautiful face darkens. “Just forget it.” He glowers, looking away.

“No, screw you! You’ve been nothing but a bully to me. You’re the reason everyone bullies me about my weight. And you think that just because you’re hot you can kiss me? Did you somehow forget that you’ve messed with both of my sisters in the past week, too?”

He sputters, looking everywhere but into my eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what--”

“What came over you? Stupidity. Simple as that. Listen, I don’t know if you assume that just because I’m fat I’m easy, but I’m not. Especially not with you. So how about we go back to pretending one another doesn’t exist until this shitty month is over. Thanks.”

With that, I stagger away and back into the house, a million thoughts racing through my mind.

Mainly the thought that a part of me, a bigger part than I’d like to admit, wants him.

And I have a feeling that if he tries again, I won’t be able to say no.

The next day Leo is at home again. Bianca, Haley, and Kurt went surfing but I can’t even stay up on my own two feet on land most of the time, so I don’t want to take my chances in water. Especially with the threat of sharks. Janice and Mrs. Hamilton went shopping, so I thought I was home alone, but here is Leo in all his glory sitting on the olive green couch in front of me.

“Sit.” Leo commands once he spots me. I’ve tried to turn and leave the room as quietly as possible, but Leo must have a sixth sense or something because he speaks up before I can take even two steps.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” I whirl around, but I find myself walking to the couch and sitting.

“I’m sorry, Gabby. For how I’ve been treating you these last few years. I only say that kind of shit because that’s how you get popular.”

“Stop.” I hold up my hand. “Do you even hear yourself? You put me, someone who had never done anything to you, down so you could propel up to the top of the food chain. You can’t apologize for something like that. You just can’t, Leo.”

He sits there for a while, just staring at me. He searches my eyes, his brow furrowed, biting his bottom lip. I memorize every feature of his face because as much as I hate him for being an asshole to me, he is a very gorgeous asshole.

“I was fat.” He finally speaks up, like this revelation will make me all of the sudden kneel and kiss his feet. “In junior high. Not really fat, only a little, but people teased me. The eighth graders used to push me in lockers, only, I wouldn’t fit. They called me Fat Leo. Eighth graders aren’t very creative. Once I got hot freshman year the girls started noticing me but the guys...anyways, sophomore year, when I moved from Cali to New York and I switched schools, no one knew me as a fat kid. I’d gotten fit, I was hot. But panic set in when I got here. I still had that fat kid in me, and he was scared of being at the bottom again. So I figured if I found a different target for everyone to focus on, it’d never be me again.”

I’m silent. I’m stupified. No way was Leo Hamilton, sex on legs, ever fat. It couldn’t be. It doesn’t make me hate him any less, bullied or not he can’t just be mean to people, but at least now we have common ground.Maybe I could work towards forgiving him. Maybe.

“That sucks.” I finally say. “It’s no excuse, though.”

“I know.” He frowns. “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t do it because I think you’re lesser or anything. It was me or you and I was a dumb sophomore and I picked me.”

“It wasn’t me or you, though! As soon as you walked in you were the hottest guy in school! You had girls falling at your feet! Guys inviting you to parties! No one would have picked on you! You didn’t have to throw me under the bus.”

“I didn’t think, Gabby. I felt like I still was that fat seventh grader. I still thought like that fat seventh grader. And you were the only remotely chubby person I knew of, so I threw you under the bus. I’m sorry.”

“I am so goddamned tired of sorry." I whisper, before bolting out of the room.