Chapter 1
Ally
It all started at breakfast.
I’m not sure if I should have start with a once upon a time, but really, this story never started once upon a time. Sure, all families have there mishaps all through life, but this didn’t happen all through life.
It started as soon as we heard the news.
Honestly, it started the night before, when Josie texted me the news, but since mom and dad have a strict no-cell-phones-after-9 rule, they didn’t see it until this morning.
“Oh. My. GOODNESS!” Mom squeals. “She’s getting married! Jake! Come and look at this. Our baby is getting married.” she clutches her phone to her heart. “Josie is getting married. She is getting M-A-R-R married!”
“Hmm.” Dad peers over his newspaper. “I approve. When’s the date?”
“November 8th. Thats next month!” Mom cheers, then goes faint. “Thats next month.”
“Good for her, to get it over with fast.” Dad turns to look at me. “My wedding prep took at least a year. Then it even rained on that day. Our wedding was ruined. After 12 months of prep.”
Mom shrugs. “At least it wasn’t like Israel’s wedding. That horrid wind practically swept the wedding away.”
“Oh, remember my wedding?” I chime in. “I wanted real live doves, and they could barely fly.” I shudder at the memory. “Feathers were everywhere.”
“And James’ wedding. The reception party was at our house. They were so loud that the neighbors filed a complaint. The police came, and shut the whole thing down for good.”
We are all laughing now, remembering the dreadful weddings that us Homes have went through.
“There was edith’s wedding when someone poured maple syrup on her chair, and she couldn’t stand up?”
“That reminds me of Nevaehs wedding. The orchestra was sick, and they kept sneezing during the songs. It was like this. Hmmm-ahhh!-hmmm-achoo!” Dad mimics, laughing so hard that he chokes on his coffee.
I guess now it’s funny to laugh at our family mishaps now.
We have our share, just maybe a little more than the average family. All our mishaps come in groups.
Groups of eight.
Like, when Mom slipped on the steps and got a concussion, dad tripped over the coffee table, James fell off his bike, and Josie twisted her ankle at gymnastics. Then, Israel hit his head on his bunk bed, Edith put her hand on the burner, Naveah fell headfirst into the hot tub, and I slammed my finger into the front door.
It’s not always too horrible.
Like, once we all forgot to bring our toothbrush on vacation. On the same trip, we all go pinched by the same crab on the same day.
But then sometimes it’s really bad.
One time, we all landed in the ER on Christmas Eve.
I guess no matter what happens to anyone in the Holmes family, everyone is affected.
We call it the Eight Strokes.
Our family weddings have been included. Every wedding has ended really, really bad. It got so bad, that after Edith’s wedding, nobody wanted to get married.
But you can’t turn down a proposal because of that. I mean… what would you say?
“Sorry, I can’t marry you. I’m afraid if I marry you, we’ll have bad luck at our wedding?”
Yeah right.
So, Naveah got married, and her luck wasn’t half as bad as the rest of ours.
But Josie…
She’s the last one in our Stroke of Eight.
This is the last wedding.
I don’t have high hopes.
Josie
I know about the Eight Strokes.
But I couldn’t turn Peyton down. We have been dating for a year, and a half. I don’t have the heart to say no.
So I said yes.
Besides, I actually really love Peyton, and it’s not fair I turn him down for a family issue that I couldn’t help if I tried.
So I said yes.
I don’t know how much my sister told you about the Strokes, but there is more I can explain.
Like, if you say yes to something that will be bad, it will let you know.
For instance, we were at a sushi restaurant, when Peyton proposed. After I said yes to the wedding (and oodles of bad luck) my stomach started hurting. When I got home, I threw up twice. It was because of the raw fish, but how coincidental is it, that when I say yes to the wedding… I get sick?
Peyton, and I have come to the sushi place plenty of times before, and I have never gotten sick at all.
Yes, it was definitely part of the Strokes.
The other thing you need to know, is that the Strokes come in eights, even for you. Like if you get sick, you’ll probably run out of Advil, then your toilet will clog as soon as you throw up, and then you’ll realize you forgot to wash your clothes so you have to stay in your slimy, thrown up in clothes, and more, and more, and more.
It never stops.
I still have to explain the Strokes to Peyton, but I don’t want to.
What if he gets dragged in?
I’m pretty sure he won’t… but still.
Israel, James, Ally, Edith, and Nevaeh have all gotten married, and their spouses have nothing to worry about. Israel has two kids, and a dog. To my understanding, they live the most healthy lives, have never been to a hospital, broken a bone, or been very sick.
James travels the world with his wife Susanna. Susanna have never been around when James has had trouble like running out of gas, or a plane delay.
See, whenever the other family is around, things go just fine. But when it’s a Holme alone, your in trouble.
And that just scares me.
Ally
I pick up James at the airport a couple minutes after twelve. He is standing alone, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“Hey James. Sorry I’m late.” I huff. “Israel and Company just got here. Geez, has his wife always been this picky?”
James cracks a smile. “I don’t know, but she never liked me, so… um… yes? I don’t even know why she hated me.”
“Because you played the 'Holme Alone' prank on her dumbo.” I roll my eyes. “You seriously can’t keep doing that.”
He pouts. “I know I can’t because Josie has to get married. But that doesn’t mean we can’t play other pranks.” he waggles his eyebrows "Especially on Brooke."
“Israel’s wife is not going to get pranked.” I insist. “Do you understand?”
“Oh I understand just fine.” he winks. “Doesn’t mean I’ll stop. Say, do you wanna get some MacDonalds or something? I’m craving a big burger.”
“Your always craving something.” I gripe. “But I’ll go, fine. Will you pay?” I doubt he will pay, because he's always "saving up" or broke. Usually he's broke. But since he just got home, I'll let it slide. Just this once.
“Of course I'll pay.” he grins, and follows me to my car. “So… how’s it going staying with mom and dad? Sad that Caleb isn’t around for the wedding?” he punches me in the shoulder jokingly.
“Stop making it seem worse than it already is.” I warn. “Besides, he FaceTimed me and is enjoying Paris. He’ll be back by tomorrow if the business meeting is cancelled. If it is not, then he’ll be arriving the day of the wedding. But I so dearly miss my husband. So knock it off.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” I persist. I do love James too, but oh my gosh, he wears me out. “Then where’s your sparkly princes Susanna?”
He blushes. “On another flight. She couldn’t get off work until five. She’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Oh ok. Just for tonight, it will be the Holme’s direct family, plus Brooke, and their kids.”
“You know what?” James askes, his eyes lighting up. “What if somehow we kicked Brooke out, just for the night? I mean, we need a moment of family time. Call it… Holme Alone. Besides, soon, all our aunts, and uncles are going to be showing up. Do you think Josie invited Uncle Blue? He always farts in the doorway.”
“Um… ok? That's kind of random. And no, we are not kicking out Israel’s wife and two kids because you want to play some pranks on the family, and have some alone time ok?” I pull the car up to the parking lot. “Also, it’ll trigger the Eight Stroke. You know having just the family alone is so gonna get us in trouble. C'mon James, be real.”
James gets quiet for a minute, and then he hops out of the car.
“Ally, do you still believe in the Eight Stroke? And do you still follow all the precautions? And do you see your therapist?”
“Yeah.” I reply. “Why? Don’t you?”
“I do it’s’ just… sometimes I feel like this is like a Santa Claus thing. Maybe I’m just jet- lagged." he yawns. "Thing is, nothing has happened for a while. I think we can let our guard down a little.”
I stare at James. “Um… no comment?” He shrugs, smiling.
“Let’s just get a burger. I need a nap, that’s all. I still believe in the Eight Stroke, don’t worry.” he ruffles my hair, and then wraps his arm around my neck.
“Oh I wasn’t worrying. If you are a Holme, you already have enough worry. If you didn’t believe in the Eight Stroke, I would say you are crazy.”
“I know Ally, I know. Now, back to Operation KBO.”
“K-B- what?”
“Kick Brooke Out.” With that, he starts walking towards the entrance of the door. “I seriously need that burger.”
On his way, a pelican flys over head, and poops on his head.
"Ugh, this is nasty!" he groans. "Why did it have to poop on me? It could have pooped on anyone else, but no..." he stops short because he realizes. "Oh my gosh! No freaking way!"
I nod.
The Eight Strikes have started.
Josie
