One.
What’s the best way to kill yourself? Straight and fast or slow and painful?
I didn’t have the answer, but as I looked at his limp, helpless body, it felt like the answer was right in front of me.
The truth was, I didn’t want to know.
Maybe this was the way he picked his end, the way he picked his last moments. Either excruciatingly long or amazingly short. But that was his decision.
I picked to take the long way, maybe even to the point where I went mad.
Because I was not going to give up, I was breed for this, and I was already in too deep.
I started to feel the effects to traveling for two day as I marched down the street. The dense crowd shielded me from the world beyond the streets. I shoved my way threw the duly dressed people. I kept my head low trying not to get any attention. I turned onto a small alleyway, and push open a cracked, wood door. The air inside was thick and humid. The smoke from cigarettes burned my eyes and the smell of hard liquor was all too familiar. I unwrapped the tan scarf that was keeping my lower face hidden. Threw the mumble of people and clinking of glasses I heard a stool scoot on the floor.
“Bea! Welcome back,” I looked up to see Isaac walking towards me, “You look like crap.”
He hit me on the shoulder and I playfully pushed him backwards.
Isaac has always been like my second brother, because once I turned 16, my real brother stopped acting like one.
“What bring you back to this dump?” He questioned.
“They raised the money, Isaac”
“How long ago?”
“Two days.”
“Wow, people do get bored fast.”
“The only ones older than me is CB, Darren, and Karsten. You know they will be dead in the next week, unless CB finds another dumb way to stay alive. But after them, I’m next,” I said, trying to keep my voice monotone, but the worry inside of me was beginning to become too much.
“Come on Bea, do what you do and hide, and if someone finds you, fight. You trained for this for 12 years,” Isaac said trying to comfort me. I shook my head. My short, brown hair tickled my shoulders.
I have always considered dying it blonde because the public seemed to favor light haired girls and they aways had the easy way out. But, seeing how none of them are alive now, I have aways decide against it.
“I’m sick of hiding! It’s all I have been doing for the past three years! I am sick of this game, it disgusts me,” I could feel the anger boil inside of me, but my knees shook from the concern of my own life. Ever since my brother decide to take his own path in this sick game, I have been alone.
This is the only life I’ve known. Seventeen years of my life I couldn’t figure out if it had been pointless or I had been working towards something.
I breathed in hoping to keep my calm composer. The Goners they called us. We get taken from our families when we are only one. We get put through long test and are forced to learn anything that is put in front of us. Once our class turns thirteen, we are released.
We are free to travel anywhere we want, but we are forced to kill each other. When we kill someone, we get money. No one has survived this gruesome game past 21.
I heard something slide across the counter and I grabbed it with ease. I looked up to see Isaac smiling at me. The cold glass felt refreshing against my hand.
“This ones on the house,” he told me, “Where have you been these past months?”
“Haven’t you been watching?” I replied.
“Well of course, it’s the only entertainment we have around here, but they are not showing your whereabouts much. You are becoming boring,” I sigh knowing that I have been in the shadows for too long. If I don’t bring attention to myself soon, they will come after me.
“No where important, just have been staking up on supplies,” but I knew that wasn’t the truth. I have been grieving. Over something that I knew was going to happen for a long time. I was confused. Why was I so sad over something that was bound to happen?
He nodded in understanding. I finished up my drink and got off my stool. I headed towards the door. I pulled my scarf back over my face and turned around. I gave Isaac a small wave, not knowing when I was going to see him again.
I washed all of the previous thoughts out of my head and stepped back out into city life.
The streets were more crowed then before. I slipped in the pack hoping to blend in. I already knew they have located me, the only place they couldn’t was Isaac’s bar. I could feel tingles running up my back as the cameras read the black markings that ran up and down my spinal cord. Every player in The Goners has them. It’s how they track you. Drones and cameras pick up on the signal and follow us around on the streets.
All the sudden I heard yelling behind me. I already knew who they were. They were boys from a younger class then me. When younger classes still have the majority they team up and work on killing the older classes, splitting the pay equally. I started running, I knew I could outsmart them, but groups have dominance. I picked up my pace as the shouting got louder.
I turned to cross the street, and I heard a cars tires screech and car horns honking. I looked up and all the sudden everything around me was going in slow-motion. I saw a silver car’s brakes scream trying to stop. I driver looked panicked, not really sure what to do.
As I braced for impact I felt a strong warm hand pull me back onto the street. I kicked the persons behinds me shin. I heard them yelp in pain, but their grip on my arm just became tighter. I heard the person crash into an alleyway wall, pulling me onto their lap. I tried to scream, but they covered my mouth with their hand, against my retaliation. The shadows that the walls created gave me no information about who was holding me down.
I stopped struggling once I heard how close the group of boys were. I decided to let this stranger get what they want for the time being.
I held my breath and closed my eyes. I imagined how ruthless they would be, they were still beginners and would still believe killing to be fun. Would they stab me through the chest or shoot me through the head, watching me scream out in pain.
I heard the boys close to me, and then they started getting farther away. I let out a sigh of relief. I quickly remembered, that I was sitting on a strangers lap in his arms, unable to escape.
