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Have you ever wondered how things might have been?

Like if you had turned left and took the shortcut instead of the long way to school one day. Or you hit the snooze button one extra time and miss your bus. Perhaps you call in sick to work one day, just to enjoy the sunshine, and then get assigned as team leader on a project that nobody wanted. Or perhaps your mother doesn’t try to kill herself on your eighth birthday. Maybe, just maybe, things might have been easier? Perhaps I might not have ended up in this situation.

These thoughts were filling my head as I tried to draw a breath into my lead-lined lungs. A dull, throbbing ache pulsed through my ribcage as I leaned over to cough, a dry rattle emerging from my lips and blood drivelling down my chin. My head lulled forward onto my chest, supported by the coarse ropes that held me up. Slowly I tried to raise my head up, fighting against the alarm bells that were ringing inside. A heavy haze fell over me as I struggled to remain conscious. A sudden chill overcame me and I cried out in pain as the ropes dug farther and deeper into my ribcage.

A lone light bulb flickered above me, slowly swaying in the breeze I now felt pass through the room. Shadows danced on the walls and in my imagination. Cries echoed around me and I was unable to discern if they were real or not. Were they actually happening or were they a vague recollection of how I got here? Uncertainty and confusion welled up inside me as tears gushed down my face and I fought back the sobs. How did I end up here? Where is here? Why is this happening to me?

I looked at the wall in front of me and tried to focus, but the shadows were playing tricks with my eyes. The dimly lit wall kept revealing a dark stain that kept growing bigger with each swaying pass of the light bulb above my head. A dark, rusty stain on a dirty brown wall. The stench of vomit suddenly filled my nose as the breeze quickened around me, and a low groan from behind me gave the impression that I was no longer alone. As I fought against the ropes to turn towards the noise, a sudden blackness embraced me.