Prologue
When Delilah, America’s favorite Bachelorette in years, chose Ryan over Zane, everybody watching the finale held their breath. No way! The worst decision in the history of the show by far. Zane’s exit speech was so beautiful that I remember crying in front of the television with my former roommates from college. Three years later, it felt very different. Delilah and Ryan were happily married now, and Zane Mullen had proven to the entire nation that he was as much of a reality tv asshole as one can be. He was still beautiful, with perfect teeth and a deep blue gaze that made me twitch every time —twitching is my thing, long story, it involves my high school crush. Zane was shedding the most haunting single tear television ever saw while saying goodbye to Delilah. “I only wish that he makes you as happy as you made me all these weeks,” he said. Next to me in the couch, Chloe started sobbing.
“I can’t believe I was in France during this season,” she said. “Another thing French stole from me.”
“What else did they steal,” I asked.
“My youth, my Louis Vuitton suitcase, my anal virginity…”
I jumped, then burst out laughing. “Been there done that.”
“Just kidding, it was a fake Louis Vuitton,” said Chloe. “Anyway, so this Greek god is the reality television star you´d be ghostwriting for.”
“Apparently not even ghostwriting. My name will be in the cover,” I explained. “I would be his biographer, I guess?”.
“So, after two years turning shit into decent books for those people, they finally offered you a real job. This was your big drama, the reason I am awake at two in the morning watching old episodes of The Bachelorette.”
“I… Yeah. Kind of,” I said. “I mean, he is a jerk now. Didn’t you see that TMZ video last year? He peed in the street and almost punched the cameraman!”
“Almost punched. Cry me a river.” Chloe rolled her eyes.
Chloe was right. Profanity and overall craziness aside, Chloe was right most of the times. No wonder she was a rising star in finances and my favorite roommate ever. Adulting in New York as a poor English doctoral student was somehow bearable thanks to her. Going to that gay bar in East Village my first summer in the city was the best decision I ever made. It got me a financially solvent roommate and a best friend. Everything a boy could need in life.
In the morning I called Julia, one of the editors in Horizon Press, and accepted the job. She explained that Zane Mullen was in town —although he was planning to move back to Los Angeles soon, after the theater failure— and he would like to meet me soon to start working. Deadline for the first draft was May, to release the book after the summer, but we were almost in February. As usual, Julia didn’t care about my already tight schedule with school. “May, or we’ll find somebody else who wants to expend hours with a hot stud and write the next non-fiction best seller,” said Julia.
But, could I write a best seller? Was the life of a D-List celebrity even best seller material? Suddenly I regretted my decision. Being the TA of a cranky professor and procrastinating writing my thesis sucked, but at least was comfortable. I was used to being a loser, that was easy. But going after my dream and failing… That was just terrifying. So much that I wanted to call Julia and tell her I had changed my mind, that I wanted to remain a crappy ghostwriter forever. Then Chloe came home from the gym and forced me to watch The Amazing Race, where Zane Mullen starred after The Bachelorette.
“We should apply for this shit. We’d put the ‘amazing’ in The Amazing Race,” she said. “Damn, he is hot. If you become friends with this guy, please set me up with him. Please, Andy.”
“Promise.”
