Broken Soul

As clear as a bell in a belfry, the words echoed in my mind; “I’m not in love with you anymore.”

With every ring, the sword was as sharp as the first time it had run through my heart. Its wielder meant no malice, but had nonetheless struck true.

There were no answers to why; only questions that seared the wound. Had I done something? Was it something I didn’t do? Was it the distance between us?

Now, solemnly do I walk amongst these halls. A castle once golden, now gray; as it had been before the sword-wielder’s reinvigorating touch. Living no more is the cold stone, and I fear it shall stay that way. For I have lost all faith in my path, and ne’er again shall I trust such a precious thing as my heart, to a mere mortal.

Memories of the past will now haunt me for eternity, as will the swift precision of the sword’s thrust.

But I surrender, and lay down my shield and sword, as I have no fight left within me, nor the will to continue onward. Worse than losing your purpose in life, is losing what gave you that purpose. To have it ripped away from you in a sudden, but sure wave.

Though I survive this, a part of me is gone. That which gave me purpose drifting away, I wish for nothing more than to reach out and grab it, to hold onto it forever, but it is beyond my grasp, and I cannot hope to get nearer.

But if I could, still I would have no choice but to let it go, else it would lose that which could give purpose, and I will have been guilty of caging a fox that otherwise would be free, boundless, and happy, taking away that which I loved most about it.

The scar of this wound will never heal, and my heart will forever belong to you, sword-wielder. You are not at fault for what has happened, and despite my own torment, I hope you find that which you desire most. I will never love another, nor do I desire to.

For now, my soul is shattered, and I exist as but a dim speck of light in an infinite forest, where my only light to see is what’s left of my essence. The road is lost to me.

Now I sit by a tree, and tend to my broken, imbalanced soul, while the journey we had taken together for so long, plays in my mind; out of my control, and unrelenting to keep the wound fresh, and open. The tides of the ocean that are my tears flood and ebb, and I am powerless to calm the waves. I could drown in it, if not for sheer will to survive.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing is to not know why this has happened. Is love so fragile that it can vanish without reason? No. I refuse to believe that, there must be a reason. If one is not given, it certainly must be me.

Is fate so cruel that it torments us, takes away everything, and only rewards us for the purpose of taking that, too? Even a lifetime of loss could not prepare me for such.

A lifetime of achievement means nothing without you.

I love you. I’ll miss you always...