Bromantic

Ever since our new principle has come to town South Park has been changing in so many ways. We now have a Whole Foods, and tons of new shitty restaurants that think its okay to sell Yelp reviewers boogers and cum. To be frank, our town has gone to shit. Plus the one boy I have had feelings for since moving here in the 6th grade is now in a relationship... that doesn’t involve me at all.. Hell! it doesn’t even involve my gender! It just doesn’t make sense. I have had the biggest crush on Craig for so many years. We use to talk occasionally, well not really, more like just saying hello in the hall ways and the frequent but quick gazes into each others eyes. But looking back on it now I must have just imagined it.

I cant seem to get him off my mind, it should be easy now knowing that he plays for the same team and all, but I still find my self thinking of his dreamy blue eyes that are so hypnotizing. That black hair that peaks out from under his hat. He’s so incredibly handsome. I know, I sound obsessed, but Im not, its just a crush and ill get over it... some day, just not today. I remember about one year ago, he walked past me. I couldnt help myself but give him just a small smile, but then he fliped me off as he made his way passed me. I was so numbed by the smell of citrus that was waved into my face while he was walking past, that I didnt have time to be offended by his gesture. But now things are different. Craig is in a relationship with Tweek. These Japanese girls that moved here recently have made tons of paintings of the two together and the whole town feeds into it. They buy them and hang them on their walls! About a month ago Craig and Tweek broke up for about two days and it broke the towns heart! I for one was so happy, but it didn’t last long. They ended up getting back together, and then all those stupid, shitty painting came back. I cant help my self but just feel the need to destroy them! One time I bought $100 worth of Craig and Tweek paintings, took them home and stayed up all night burning them. It felt nice.

I’m in school, basically going crazy about all of the talk about Craig and his boyfriend. Im ripping through my locker trying to find a piece of homeowrk paper that is due today, and with my luck, I’m not finding it.

“Dude no, I asked my dad last night he said that the Japanese decides who’s gay and thats how its always been.” I overheard Stan say behind me. He was talking to a group of boys, who have been freaking out the past few days about not noticing two of there closets friends being homosexual. If this was anyone else I would probably tell them they are being ridiculous, but it isn’t someone else, it Craig and Tweek, no one saw it coming.. especially me.

Before I left school for the day I noticed a bunch of those Japanese girls drawing the pictures of my crush kissing Tweek. I couldnt help but stop.

“Why did you decide to make them gay?” I asked curious, but I could tell that my voice came out pissy.

“I donno, we just like drawing yaoi.” One of the girls said to me.

“Is that the only reason?” I asked as all of the girls nodded in unison.

“Well, could one of you maybe draw a picture of me and Criag?” I asked timidly as the girls raged with laughter. Their laughter struck me hard. Almost like they had impaled my heart. I could feel my body rising with heat over the humiliation they brought me. I ran out of the school all the way home, because what other choice did I have? At least its mid winter break so I wont have to show my face at school for the next two weeks.

Maybe Craig really is gay, It just dosnt make since. If only there was a way I could find out. All I have to do is get close to him! I ran down stairs and grabbed plastic wrap. I took it back up to my room and took my shirt and bra off. I wrapped the platic around my chest tightly several times until my D chest was almost believably flat. I grabbed one of my brothers green T-shirts and a dark green jacket, a pair of his pants and a hat and shoes. Everything was big on me but with a belt and some socks stuffed in his shoes everything fit and definitely made me look like I had a body of a 17 year old boy, well a short and skinny, weak 17 year old boy, but if I throw on some sunglasses, there will be no way of telling. I threw my long hair into a bun and put the hat on after sizing it to fit my head. I put my hood up and pulled it tight like how Kenny wore his. It muffled my voice enough to where if I talked in a lower tone my voice could actually pass for a mans. A man that would obviously be a tener, or possibly a alto, but that’s the best I can do seeing how I’m a saprano in every singing class I’ve taken.

The clock read 2:15, which means most of my class was probably all hanging out at the park, so that’s where I’m heading. The nice air brushed the tip of my nose as I came to the park. All the guys where playing a basket ball game on a court that looks like it was recently covered in snow but was shoveled. Every guy was there except two of course. Craig and Tweek. They where sitting on a bench by the court holding hands. Both of their faces were down cast, looking towards the snow. They looked upset. I made my way toward them praying they don’t recognize me.

“Hey.” I said, my voice low and muffled. Hopefully they’ll be able to understand me.

“W-who are y-you?” Tweek said as they both looked up at me. Well, they can understand me but I didn’t fucking think about a fake name, or back story.

“U-um, I’m Jason. Just visiting my Aunt and Uncle. Do you know the (L/n)?” I asked nervously

“(Y/n) (l/n) parents? Your her cousin?” Craig said my name. His voice sounded so smooth and my name coming out of his lips made my insides melt like butter.

“Yupp, Got bored so figured I’d come meet some people. You two look bored, wanna go do something?” I said. My leg began to shake uncontrollably, I’m not sure if it was from my heart beating so fast, or the fact that my body was starting to grow cold.

“No, we’re fine.” Craig said with that monotone voice of his.

“Craig we are not doing anything here lets go. Do you wanna come to my house Jason? We can play some video games and stuff?” Tweek twitched a bit as I nodded, we began walking to Tweek’s house while Tweek dragged Craig along by his hand. When we walked into Tweek’s room they immediately stopped holding hands and wiped them on their pants. They got the PlayStation 4 set up and we started playing. Though I couldn’t help but start thinking about their strange behavior, and it is getting considerably hard not to ask them about their relationship.

“So Jason, are you gay too?” Craig asked without taking his eyes off the Tv screen. The word “too” made my pulse quicken, he just said he was gay. I mean its obvious that he was, but I never actualy heard it come out of his mouth.

“Um, no. Why would you think that?” I said. I could hear my voice waver even through the muffling that covered my voice.

“Well I dont know. There was so many poeple you could of talked to. But you came straight over to me and Tweek. Too guys. Holding hands.” Craig said stating his points like he always does when he is confused or upset about somthing. I began to sweat because I didnt really have a reason for goign over to them except for the truth. That I am a crazy girl that is in love with him, so I put on a disguse to see closer into his relationship. Oh my god! I sound crazy! I should just leave. Ill just make a little bit of small talk and walk out the door.

“Well I dont know, you guys looked really upset. I thought maybe it was because everyone was avoiding you.” I put down my game controller as I said this. I saw Tweek glance at Craig nervously.

“Well, Ill get going then” I made my way to Tweek’s bedroom door.

“Jason wait!” Craig said slightly louder than his usual voice. I turned around confused and looked at the two of them. They were both sitting on a queen size bed sitting as far away from each other as possible.

“You arntleaving because you thing we are gay are you?” Craig said.

“C-Craig?!? W-What are you doing man!?” Tweek pulled at his hair. I was too speechless to talk. Craig just said “think they are gay”. Holy shit was I fucking right!? I could do anything, I couldnt even move my foot, so i just shook my head no searching Craigs face for an answer.

“Jason, you are new to South Park and somthing you should know is when things happen we dont really question them, we just do what this fucked up town wants us to do. Well this time this town wants me and Tweek to be gay. As much as we fight it nobody seems to listen.” Craig seemed to be staring off into space as he talked to me, well not me, but my fake cousin Jason.

“Y-yeah. It started off with these gay p-paintings! Then the whole town bought into them! And then my parents!” Tweel looked like he felt relived to let this off of his chest.

“I dont know man, someone should know the truth.” Craig said turning off Tweeks television.

“I dont understand, If you guys arnt gay, then why dont you date a girl? Then the town will eventually learn they are wrong” My voice seemed to come out a bit more passionate than I wanted it too. I could feel the platic wrapp around my chest begging to ripp from my heavy breathing.

“Because South Park isnt like that man! T-they will just keep shoving until we become what thwy w-want! Why fight it?” Tweek began freaking out a bit.

“Because you guys arnt happy! Screw this town! Just do what makes you happy! Ill see you two tomorrow.” And with that I left Tweeks house crossing my arms trying to keep the plastic from ripping any farther.