Men, Women, & Children

Some people believe the world began 15 billion years ago. People believe that because the sun is constantly growing, it will eventually blow up and it will cause the end of the world. Surprisingly enough, this is a religion. They believed that as the world is created that it will be destroyed.

Stephen Hawking predicted that the world will end, saying Earth would a become a giant fireball. He believed that global warming would cause the Earth to become the planet Venus at 480 degrees. But these are only predictions.

Can you imagine how many days are in 15 million years? How many hours? How many minutes? How many seconds? In one year, there are only 525,600 minutes. In just those minutes, there are 31,536,000 seconds.

In just 60 seconds, you can create a single minute. In 60 of those minutes, you can create one hour. 24 hours becomes a day. 7 days make a week and 52 weeks make a year. So much time just wasted.

I don’t know what I believe in. There are exactly 4,200 different religions. There’s the Christians who believe in the justification by faith- that though the belief in Jesus, they can have a relationship with God whose forgiveness was made for the death of Jesus.

In some religions, people believe that God created the world. Muslims believe in Allah. There’s the Jews. They believe that there is only one God in the entire world and he controls it. Jews believe, not only in God but believes in the prophets: Abraham, Moses, Miriam, Samuel, Isiah, etc...

Somehow in one day, God created the night and day. On day two, he created the sky. By the third day, he created the sea, land, trees, and plants. By day four, he made the sun and the moon. Day 5, he developed the sea creatures and birds. The sixth day, he made humans and all other animals. On the last day, he realized his work was done and rested.

It’s amazing. He created the world in just seven days. He made the sea. He made us people and all types of animals, from bears to sea creatures. In seven minutes, you can start a load of laundry, clean the dishes, drink a glass of water. In seven hours, you can fly from Los Angeles to New York. But in seven days God created the world. But in seven seconds...

I shattered mine.

It was Fall of 2005. It was my first day of Kindergarten. I looked around and saw the different kids around me. There was a girl next to us. She had blonde hair like my sister, Tessa. She was wearing a pink headband, a pink and white polka dotted skirt, a yellow shirt, and a jean jacket. I looked down and fawned at my own amazement as I stared at her Dora the Explorer bracelet.

She smiled as she looked around. Absorbing every detail about this room. She looked back to her parents and waved. She ran to the table with the bin of toys in it and started picking stuff out.

I sighed as I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I looked back to my mom and dad. Mommy had tears in her eyes as she held on tightly to my hand. I looked back. I breathed in the air and my nostrils flared slightly as I took in the smell of Play-doh and Lysol.

I felt my eyes widen when I saw pieces of paper and crayons. I let go of my mommy’s hand and ran over to the table. I felt my excitement grow as I grabbed a piece of paper and slid into the chair.

I tried to think of something to draw. I remember Miss Stephanie’s flowers she planted in front of her house. I smiled and instantly began drawing. I remember seeing her flowers for the first time. They were really pretty. The color made them beautiful.

I looked down at my drawing. The flower was just as beautiful as Miss Stephanie’s. After I started coloring the flower, I decided to draw the stem and the leaf. I reached for the crayon box but it was too far away. I pushed my knees up off my kneeling position. I tried to grab the box.

Instead of grabbing the box, my hand pushed it by accident and it fell of the table.

“Oh no” I exclaimed.

I hurriedly got up from the chair and rushed to the ground as I grabbed some of the crayons.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed a crayon. I looked up and it was the blonde girl from before.

“What happened?” She asked as she stood up and put the crayons in her hand in the box.

“I don’t know. I went to get a crayon and I couldn’t reach it. So I stood up and reached for it and it fell off the table” I explained guiltily. “I’m gonna be in trouble”.

“Why?” the girl asked as she looked to me in confusion as she grabbed more crayons.

“My mommy hates when I spill stuff. She gets really upset”.

The girl still looked confused. “Why? It’s just an accident”.

“I don’t know”. I stood up and put the crayons in the bin. The girl put the rest of the crayons in the bin.

She walked over and examined my drawing. “Did you draw this?” she asked as she pointed to it.

I looked at her face. I felt a little nervous. No one except my parents has ever seen my drawings before. The girl’s face is hard to read. I can’t tell if she’s impressed or not.

“Yes” I answered.

“These are really good” she complimented.

I felt my cheeks redden. I smile to her. “Thank you” I say to her and she nods. “I’m Rory”.

“My name is Bridget Penelope Vreeland” she says to me as she holds out her hand to shake. I smile as I quickly shake it. “Wanna see my doll?” she asked.

I nodded and we both ran over to the table with the bin of dolls and other toys. She reached for a blonde barbie doll in a princess dress.

“She’s really pretty” I tell her.

I looked in the bin for another doll. I found this blush doll with brown hair that was put in two braids. It wasn’t a Barbie, like the other girls had, but it was pretty- despite the fact it looked like it was ten years old and ran over by a truck- the doll

had a smile spread across her pale skin.

“That doll is ugly” I hear a voice call out. I look back and I see this tall girl behind me. She has red hair and is wearing a green sparkly dress with a bow.

“She looks like you”, the red-headed girl added.

I couldn’t help but look down at my shoes. I could feel a tear falling out from my eye and down my face. Why was she being mean? Why? I never met her before. The doll was pretty despite its age and damage.

“You’re a cry baby!” the red-headed girl yelled in a patronizing tone. I couldn’t help but cry louder. I looked to Bridget and she noticed by tears and I felt her envelope me in a hug.

“That is not nice” Bridget told the red-headed girl.

Just then a black-haired girl came over and placed her hands on her hips and glared at the mean girl.

“Yeah, you should say ‘sorry’” the black-haired girl said firmly.

The girl was around my height. She was wearing a black shirt and jeans. She had black fingernails. She even had her ears pierced. I asked my mommy if I could get my ears pierced but she said I could get them done when I turn 7.

The red-headed girl muttered a spiteful and bitter “Hmpph” under her breath. She rolled her eyes. She stomped away, furiously over to another side of the room.

“You shouldn’t let people like her make you cry” the girl said to me. “She was trying to be a bully”.

“What’s a bully?” Bridget asked.

“It’s someone who is mean and wants to hurt someone” the girl answered. “I’m Tibby”.

“I’m Bridget and this is Rory” Bridget introduced to Tibby.

I looked to my left and saw this girl. She was short. She was continuously jumping up and down, trying to a grab this book from the shelf.

I walked over as she jumped up and down like a girl jumping on a trampoline.

I reached up and grabbed the book she was reaching for. She turned back and smiled when she saw me. I recognized her. She lived down the street from me.

“Thank you” she said to me with a big smile.

“You’re welcome”.

“I’m Carmen. What’s your name?” she asked as she sat down at a table as I followed behind her.

“Rory” I informed her of. I stood there for a minute as I looked back and saw Tibby and Bridget looking at me, wondering what I was doing.

I looked back to Carmen and realized she was sitting alone.

“Would you like to sit with me and my friends?” I asked.

I saw her shocked glance and her eyes widen as she peaked her head up from her book. “Sure” she answered.

She got up from her chair and we both walked back to Tibby and Bridget.

And that is how that day went. From perfect strangers to best of friends. It’s amazing how these things work out. Being a kid is easy.

You know when teenagers pray they could just be children again, they pray and hope, and do foolish things. I mean, it seems...Excessive, but I get it.

I once believed that the world was safe. I used to think that a child would be protected from these awful tragedies in this world. Am I right or am I just so tragically blind?

WINTER 2006:

I looked at myself in the mirror with nothing but a smile. I was wearing my new jean skirt and my white sweater. I looked down and smoothed out a wrinkle in the sweater and brush my skirt as well.

I felt the excitement inside of me explode. Bridget was having a birthday party. I was so ecstatic.

I looked back noticed that it was quiet. I smiled to myself and ran to the door, quickly closing it. I cautiously tip-toped to my bed. I climbed on it and stood on it.

I began jumping up and down on the bed. I could feel myself laughing. I continued jumping up and down on the bed. I don’t know why mommy hates when I do this.

About a few minutes later, I heard a loud voice. “Lorelai Cecilia Foster, if you break that box spring, you’ll be sleeping on the floor for the rest of your life!” I heard mom call up to me as I was in mid-air.

I chuckled when I hit the bed and landed on my knees. I resiliently bounced off and landed on my own two feet. I giggled as I ran to the door. I pulled over the big door and I saw the two feet in the doorway.

I looked up and It was my other older sister, Taylor. Tessa was my oldest sister. Tessa and Taylor don’t get along very much. Tessa has always been the leader, head of the clan. I looked up to her and saw the two mini skirt she was wearing and her crop top.

“Are you seriously wearing that?” fifteen year old Taylor asked snobbishly, crossing her arms.

I looked down to myself to see where the issue was. “Yes, I answered nervously. “There’s nothing wrong with it”.

“I don’t know, it just two sizes too big” Taylor said in an obnoxious tone.

“I got this for Christmas. Santa just wanted it to last longer” I argument as I ran passed her and down to the kitchen.

I got down to the kitchen and I saw mommy wrapping a casserole. Although, I have never been to a birthday party, mom has always made casseroles and other foods for birthday parties Tessa and Taylor attended.

“Mom, can we go?” I asked as I rushed over to the counter and jumped in the stool as I watch her finish wrapping up the food with tin foil.

“I clearly don’t need to ask if your excited” I heard mommy mumble under her voice.

“I heard that” I told her.

She laughed as she looked up to me. Do you get that feeling when you just look at someone and you see them smile and just feel happy and content? I felt that about my mom.

I was torn from my thoughts when her I heard this clinking noise coming into the room and I looked back and it was Taylor. To tip off the icy of her outfit with a cherry, she wore heels.

“Mommy, can you tell Taylor that this sweater was not too big” I said to her. She looked up to me then to Taylor.

“Taylor, she looks fine. It’s just like when I used to give you Hand me downs from Tessa” she explained. “Rory is a growing girl. When I got her pre-school clothes, she grew out of them three months later. So, she got something that would last her a long time”.

“Why doesn’t she get Hand me downs like me?” Taylor asked in an annoyed. I could look in her eyes and see something else other than annoyed, but I didn’t know what is was.

“Well, after the flood, it destroyed everything, dear. I had to buy clothes for her. And I seen what you wear, Taylor. I would never let my baby girl wear that” mom said as she walked around. She came over to me and kissed me on the forehead.

“Mommy, I’m not a baby. I’m almost this many years old” I said holding up six fingers.

I felt mommy pick me up from the stool and set me down on the floor.

“I’m sorry, mom, it’s just when I was 6, I was wearing dresses” Taylor explained.

I scrunched my nose in disgust. “I don’t really like dresses. I like skirts” I stated.

Taylor looked to me and rolled her eyes. “Same thing” she muttered. “I was just thinking that boys are going to be at the party right. I mean, if you don’t wear dresses then boys aren’t going to like you”.

“Taylor!” mommy admonished. I looked up to her and saw disgust in her eyes as she looked at Taylor. “She is six years old!”

I looked down at my shoes. They were black. I sighed. I couldn’t help but feel like she was right.

“Rory, don’t listen to her” I heard a voice call out. I looked up and it was my sister, Tessa.

She was a nicer dresser than Taylor. She was wearing jeans and a simple white blouse with a cardigan.

“Whatever” Taylor said in a scoff as she quickly ran out of the room.

I looked back to mom and she came walking over with my coat. I moved my arm into each sleeve. Mom turned me around and zipped the zipper up to almost my neck.

I heard a little ding and mom stopped. She reached for her phone. She looked at it and groaned.

“I forgot. I have a parent-teacher meeting at school with Taylor’s teachers” she whined. I could see the disappointment in her eyes.

“I can’t go?” I asked. She looked up to me.

“No, I just can’t pick you up”.

“I can pick take her and pick her up” I heard Tessa call out. We looked back to her.

“You don’t have a car, Tess, it’s in Hartford” mommy told her.

“Mom, I’m 17. I think I can watch Rory. We can take the train up and back” she said before she took a sip from her glass of orange juice.

I looked that the clock and it was 6:40 as the big hand passed the six and the little hand was on the eight. I looked up to my sister and observed her rigid exterior. Her eyes glued to her phone and her blonde hair cascading her face.

I looked at her blue cast on her arm. It was signed by everyone in town. She was nearly eighteen years old. She broke her arm when she was doing gymnastic tricks. Seems like she was tricked herself. Her arm was turned the other way when we found her. She was convinced that her career as a gymnast was in the can.

My sister, Tessa, was loved by everyone. Everyone that knew her, loved her. She volunteered for everything in town. If they needed someone working at a booth at the town carnival, she would be there. If they needed someone to run the bid-on-a-basket event, she would be the first one with her hand up.

Growing up, Tessa always hoped that she could be a role model for me. I mean, it is expected that she should, but she hoped I would follow her footsteps.

Our town, Cherry Hill, is a small town, a quiet town. There is exactly 5,962 people living here. People would argue that five thousand is not a town. Many people would call it a village, but I would call it a town. Just like every other town, everyone knows everyone. Mandy Taylor who owns the Fudge Bakery, had her third baby boy and named him “Arrow”. Fran Weston who owns the Weston Bakery has made a special for cakes.

The sky was a darker shade of indigo without being completely black, if possible. I looked down to my shoes as I pushed my hands in the pockets of my coat. I felt the fabric of my scarf rub against my chin and I couldn’t help but be wound up by its softness.

I could feel my legs shaking as the Connecticut wind blew against the nakedness of my bottom legs.

I looked up and saw the white light shining above us as we listened to the whistle of the train coming towards us in the distance.

I felt the moistness of my hands as I looked down and ripped the mittens off my hands.

“So how do you like Kindergarten?” I heard a voice call out, breaking the silence.

I looked up and saw Tessa looking down on me. “Okay” I answered in a low voice.

“Oh, come on. You love it! It’s kind of like pre-school. You get nap-time, recess, snack time. All the good stuff”.

The silence came back and I looked down to my gloves and straightened it out so it would be wrinkled.

“Why aren’t you wearing you’re gloves?” Tessa asked.

“Its too hot to be wearing gloves” I answered.

“Too hot? It’s thirty degrees out” I heard her say in a chuckle as she looked down to me and smiled.

In a Northern town, you would expect this type of weather. I love the Winter. I love being able to roll around in the snow. I like making snowmen with Tessa. The reason I like it is because it has a type of safeness to it, knowing nothing will harm you. I looked to the clock and saw the little hand close to nine as the big hand neared the seven. 6:44.

Before I control myself, I blurted something I never thought I would ever ask. “Tessa, why do you think Taylor doesn’t like me?”.

She looked down to me with confusion. “What she asked?”.

I looked down at the ground. “Why doesn’t Taylor like me?” I repeated as I looked down at my shoes.

“It’s complicated. Taylor is a wild child” she said. Wild child? What is that?

“What is that?” I asked.

“It means that she can do whatever she wants. Sometimes, she is afraid of you. Sometimes, mom and dad don’t pay attention to her. I mean, it’s not like she needs it”.

I scrunched my nose and looked up. “I don’t get it”.

Tessa laughed and put her arm around me and hugged me. “She loves you Rory, she does”.

I started tapping my foot on the ground in anticipation. I saw Tessa lower her head to me. I stopped with my foot. I looked over to Tessa and it only just fawned on me that she was wearing a nice green dress. I looked down to her feet and noticed that she was wearing heeled boy. I guess that helped with the “towering-over-me-effect”. I never really knew why people thought she was older than 14. She was tall, but I guess it was that she was smart and mature.

I looked down and watched my dress moved with every move I make. I looked to my hand and looked at my four-leaf clover charm bracelet my friend Bridget gave me. I smiled as I jumped up and down, not able to control the anticipation any longer.

“Tessa, I’m tired” I said.

She looked to me with the same smile as before. “If you’re so tired, then why are you jumping up and down?” she asked me.

“I don’t know” I said as I halted in my movements. “It’s been like five trillion hours”.

“I know, but it’s coming, Rory” she said to me as she put her arm around me, pulling me close to her.

“When is it?” I asked as I broke free from her grasp and moved forward to see if the train was near or not.

“It’s not gonna be too much longer” she said as she stole a glance from her phone.

I groaned in frustration as I walked over to the bench and sat down. Tessa’s face was stuck to her phone.

Out of nowhere, I heard noises. Distant voices just like a brush in the wind. I looked back and I saw these two men.

“Rory, get off that bench” I heard a voice growl as it broke me out of my thoughts.

I looked back and I saw Tessa intensely staring at me. I stood up and walked over to her.

We heard people talking again and we both looked to our right. The two men were standing at the other end of the platform. These men were Hispanic. One man was wearing a short-sleeve t-shirt. He has a snake tattoo along his left arm. He has short hair. The other man was taller, but scrawnier. He had braids and was a little darker than the other guy.

I looked up to Tessa and I couldn’t see the sheer happiness she had a few seconds ago. She gulped as she looked down to me and smiled.

We heard footsteps rearing their way towards us. We looked back and we saw one of the two men walking towards us. I felt Tessa squeeze my arm. I looked up to her as she pulled me closer to her. I felt the grip tighten on me as we saw the shadow of the man walk closer to us.

I felt Tessa blow a breath of air as she looked to the man. I followed her gaze and saw the man walking down the steps. I looked back to the other man and he was looking at us.

I heard the familiar whistle in the distant. I moved a little closer to the edge and peeked my head forward and saw the train coming.

“Oh, here comes the train!” I yelled to Tessa as I jump up and down. I looked Tessa and she smiled what could be only known as fake. She held her hand out to me and I took it. She pulled me in.

As the train came closer, we backed in under the platform cover. I looked over and felt sheer fear take over as I saw the man come running back up the stairs.

“Get behind me,” Tessa said to me.

I quickly followed her order and hid behind her. I looked in the space between her arm and her side. I saw the other man from the other side of the platform walking over. He was grabbing something. I felt myself move from behind her to see what he was grabbing.

“Rory, stay behind me” she said a little louder. I looked up to her and I saw nothing but true fear. I saw both men getting closer to us. Tessa looked down and saw I was still to her side. I felt her soft hand, roughly push me behind her.

I looked to the men and they pointed something black at us. It looked like my friend Tibby’s toy gun. The two men stopped to us and pointed it at us.

“Just take it. Take it” Tessa said as she handed over her watch and pearl necklace.

“Give me your purse. Give me your purse” the taller Hispanic man ordered. I forced my eyes to close as I heard the two men yelling.

“Give me the ring!” I heard a gruff voice call out.

“What?” I asked as I looked and saw Tessa give them grandma’s ring that mom gave her. Why would she give them that?

“Don’t talk” she said as her voice broke. I looked up and I saw the two men grabbing at her. “It’s gonna be okay”.

I felt a rough jolt as I felt someone rip my Barbie purse from me. I tried to grab it but the force was too strong. I looked up and it was the man with the tattoo who took it.

“Rory, don’t look at them,” Tessa said. I quickly looked away. I looked at the back of her dress. I closed my eyes. I heard the train coming towards us in the distance. I fell water burning my eyes and felt is cascading down my face.

I heard Tessa yelling and I heard the two men yelling louder at her. During all of this, I wondered, where is everyone? I forced my eyes to open, despite all the terror. I saw no one on site.

I looked in between Tessa’s arm and saw the train coming towards. It eventually stopped. The two men stopped and backed away.

“This is the Northeast Regional train. Next stop State Street” the announcer said. We were held back by the bench. I felt Tessa’s remaining grip on my arm.

The two men backed onto the train as the two doors opened. I looked up to Tessa and saw that the fear disappear. I looked around and we were still alone on the platform. I looked over to the men and saw them still staring at us. Well, they were staring at Tessa. I looked up to Tessa and I saw her staring at them. There was something in her eyes. Something I have never seen before.

Contempt.

As the doors began to close, the man with the tattoo reaches out and stops the door from closing. I looked in his eyes and saw the blackness take over. I looked back to Tessa and she had the same exact look.

Out of nowhere, the world stopped. I looked back to the two men and watched at the man pull out the black gun extend out and pointed it at Tessa.

“No!” Tessa yelled and then it was the end.

A loud noise exploded and Tessa was hit with a force so strong it knocked her down. I looked back to the man and he was holding the killing object. There was a cloud of smoke coming from it.

The doors closed.

I looked back to Tessa. She was flat on the ground. I looked around and saw Tessa’s charm bracelet on the cement covered in blood. I looked around and I saw a hole in Tessa’s chest. Blood was leaking out from the left side.

I leaned down and saw the emptiness of her body. I softly touched her arm and saw what it meant to be a shot mockingbird.

I squeezed her arm. I looked down and saw no movement.

“Tessa?” I asked as I heard the crack in my voice. I felt a tear sliding down my face.

“Tessa?“.

No answer.

“Tessa?” I asked I shook her arm. Her tan face began turning a little pale. “TESSA!“, I screamed as I pulled her up. I felt my hands grip her arms and shake her. “Wake up” I said.

I looked around and noticed the quietness. It was empty.

I looked down to Tessa. “Tessa” I squeaked.

Tessa, you once told me that “Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we’ve touched”. Honestly. If you could see me today and hear what I would have to say, I would say that “Our fingerprints do fade from the lives we’ve touched”.

You know what day I’m staring at.

By 22, Gandhi had 3 kids; Motzart, 37 symphonies; and Buddy Holly was dead. Someone’s been trying to tell me something. Make it yours forever. I’m working on the forever part.

Was it me? Was I the problem? If we left earlier, this would have never happened and we would have made the earlier train. If we left later, we wouldn’t have ran into those two men. If none of this happened, you would still be here today.

Someone once told me that “Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it’s important that you do it because nobody else will”.

Tessa, you were innocent. You were nothing that a flower on a Spring day. It’s only hope in life was to grow and shine. But then you were drowned. I wonder what those two men think, what they took and how it felt knowing what they took from us.

In many religions, people believe that God created the world, but I doubt that God oversees us and controls it.

If he controls the world, why did he let this happen? How am I supposed to believe? How am I suppose to have faith?

7.6 billion people live on Earth in the shadows. Men, women...

...And children.