Overall an Amazing Story!
"This story is simply said amazing. The characters are very thought through and fleshed out very well, the story is suspenseful, captivating and very professionally written. One can clearly see that much thought and passion has gone into this story, a story definitely worth publishing. I really enjoyed reading this, even if it took me forever cause I'm such a slow reader (sorry).
I love how the story starts off slow. We get to know the characters very well and sorta start in a different kind of story before getting into the deeper stuff. Kinda like the calm before the storm. During this slow and steady beginning, we get a clear picture of what everyone's relationship with one another is and how this all came to be. I really enjoyed that, and the flashbacks to when they were young, how they discovered things together and how they support each other were just heartwarming to read.
A few other things I'd like to mention, though. For one I felt like a lot of the story was told. Now, there were a lot of beautiful and very well done descriptions, but still, for some parts, I felt like I was reading a bit of an info dump. What I mean by this, is that when we read the flashback, yes, of course it is more told than shown since it speeds a bit through moments, and I'm completely fine with that. It was the parts in the present that felt a little too rushed or plain. It was like the present was written exactly like the flashbacks, but because the present didn't move as fast a lot of scenes felt rushed.
An example of this that I come across at times when a story feels more told than shown is when a lot of dialogue is literally told. What I mean with this is that instead of the '"He was so handsome," she said' it is told to us as 'She told her friend he was handsome." this is of course allowed, like when a lot of information is repeated to a new character, but I came across these kinds of sentences a lot in this story. And again, in the flashback, it wasn't as bothersome since most of it has to be told in order to get the story moving along, but at the moments in the present when their conversation and smallest reactions to each other drive the story it could be a bit frustrating. It was just something I noticed and personally don't like as much. In my opinion, it disturbs the flow in a way, pulling me just a little too much from the story rather than sucking me into the conversation.
Other than that, I truly enjoyed the story. Again, I loved the slow suspenseful pace it had and the nostalgic feel. All of it was brilliantly done and of every detail is thought and carefully placed into a perfect position to complement the story and keep it going. The plot overall is just genius and very well executed. Twists and turns that keep you guessing. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love a good mystery that keeps me guessing.
Can't say more than I love this story and I wish you the best of luck with it! Keep writing for sure, you got a real talent for it! :)"