Unsure

Nervous.

She tried to feel something else, the feeling of sweat beading at her forehead and her breath on the brink of being ragged as she tried to calm down. But it was hopeless; the sight of the house filled with teenagers that were moving to the beat of the music enough to make her give a heavy sigh. She peered down at her own outfit and couldn’t help but compare it to what the other girls were wearing.

Bright short dresses that barely covered their behinds, heels that were so tall, those girls could match even her insanely high height. She compared the heels to her converse, their bare legs to her over the knee socks and simple t-shirt dress. It wasn’t party attire at all, and yet, it was the best she could do compared to whatever else she had in her closet.

“Marie!” She jumped at her name, turning to see her best friend walking up with a red cup in her hands. She felt a sigh of relief at her attire; jeans, a tank top and boots. Nothing like the skimpy skirts and dresses that she saw in front and inside the house that was only a few feet away.

“Terra. Hey.”

“Why are you standing out here watching the party like a creep? Come inside.” Marie bit her lip as Terra wrapped an arm around her shoulder, another sigh leaving her lips as she shook her head.

“Or I could just, go home? Terra, you know I don’t like parties.”

“I know, I know. And if you really aren’t feeling it or aren’t curious about it then I won’t be upset about you going home. But it’s the last week of Summer before school starts. At least go to one party before we start our senior year of high school? Please?” Marie mulled it over; she understood why Terra was trying to get her to go out so bad.

After all, junior year had been a rough one for Marie, and Terra just wanted her to be a teenager for once. Her friend was right; she knew Marie way too well. She was curious to see what it was like, and that in of itself is why she gave a heavy sigh and slowly started the walk towards the house, Terra giving a whoop of joy as she pumped her fist.

“Yes! Welcome to your first party!” She gave a grin as the two of them walked inside the massive house together, Marie already feeling the atmosphere change from outside the house to inside. The air was musty and warm from all the sweaty bodies dancing together, Terra already leaving her as she went to greet a couple more people that she knew from her choir class. Marie resisted the urge to follow her, not wanting to seem needy or clingy as she walked into the kitchen.

She looked at the assorted sodas and waters that were in the fridge, ignoring the large bottles of alcohol littered on the counter and decided on grabbing a sprite. She sat down on the empty space of the counter, ignoring the strange looks she received from a few people for being alone. She was used to it anyway; besides Terra, she was always alone. But she didn’t mind; after what had happened to her earlier that year, she liked it that way anyway.

Just as she had opened her can to take a sip, a few yells from both boys and girls had caught her attention, barely lowering her soda before two guys that appeared to be brawling stumbled their way into the kitchen. She was about to hop off to get out of their way, until one of them bumped into her and caused the can to spill all over her face and shirt. She watched in annoyance as they moved from standing to wrestling on the floor, everybody standing by and pulling out their phones to film instead of breaking it up.

She noticed one of the boys had gotten on top, the one with raven hair repeatedly punching the other one in the face. She panicked, reaching into the fridge and hurriedly opening a water bottle and dumping it over both of them. That seemed to snap them out of it, the boy on top jumping up and wiping the blood dripping from his lip, nose, and eyebrow.

“Fuck you, Tomlinson. The fucking nerve you have to show up to this party; you’re fucking ridiculous.” Marie had froze; she knew who the boy with the raven hair was now, her heart beating faster as she bit her lip and looked away from him. She tried to ignore the fact that him; that Zayn was right there as she moved her attention to the boy still on the ground.

She knew him to be Louis, a black eye slowly forming as he spat out a bit of blood that had accumulated in his mouth. He laughed, stumbling to get up while Marie slowly moved herself between the two of them.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that she wanted me, Malik. I mean, can you blame her? Looks like you weren’t hitting it right!” That triggered him, Zayn moving forward while Marie placed both hands on his chest.

“Stop! Stop. Is he really worth it?” Zayn briefly looked at her, his eyes flickering with recognition before he scoffed and pushed his way past them and went right out the front door. Marie could feel the soda start to stick as it dried, already aware that her makeup was most likely running as she gave a huge sigh.

“Malik just doesn’t know how to take a loss.” Marie looked over to see Louis was talking to her, blue eyes focused on her as she rolled her eyes and reached over for a few paper towels.

“Yeah well, Zayn wasn’t the one on the ground getting punched in the face now, was he? I don’t think he lost.” She pushed past Louis and walked out front, eyes searching for Zayn. She found him standing in the driveway, hands in his pockets while he took deep breaths. She stared for a while; memories of him in middle school flashing through her head as she played with the paper towels she’d brought out.

Zayn was somebody that she’d known for a while; somebody that she had wanted to be friends with. But who he was and who she was back then? They were on complete opposite sides of the spectrum; he was somebody, and she was a nobody. So, don’t blame her for not going up to him right away.

Soon she’d found the courage, clearing her throat as she walked up to him. He barely turned his head to acknowledge her, but she knew that he knew she was there. She held up a couple paper towels, watching as he raised his brow in curiosity while she shrugged.

“You’re still bleeding; you might as well clean it up.” Again a scoff escaped his lips as he grabbed the paper towels out of her hand and roughly started to wipe the blood away, Marie wincing before she couldn’t take it anymore and snatched the paper towels back.

“Idiot, if you do it like that you’re going to make it worse,” He was surprised at her tone, letting her step closer as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and lightly dabbed at the wounds on his face. “It doesn’t look like it’ll scar up, which is good I guess.” As she moved away after dabbing at his eyebrow she noticed that a small smile came to his face.

“What?”

“I’m sorry about the sprite on your face,” She tilted her head in confusion, wondering how he would be able to notice what he did since he was so focused on his fight with Louis. “You look like a raccoon.”

A slight gasp escaped her lips as she reached her hand up to her eyes and wiped underneath them, bringing her hand back down and groaning when she saw black littered all over her fingers.

“Now that you mention it, I should probably clean up then head home. My shirt is sticking to my skin and it feels...gross.”

“Here, follow me and I can take you to a bathroom.” She gave a nod as she followed him inside, everybody seemingly forgetting the fight as they focused on the music and dancing once again. Marie followed him wordlessly upstairs as he led her into a room, closing the door behind him while she curiously looked around. He turned the lights on as she sat down on the bed, her eyes immediately flocking to the rock posters that littered the white walls.

“The uh, bathroom is over there.” She looked over to see him holding out a shirt, her brows furrowed and then raising when she realized; this was his room.

“I...is this your room?” He scratched at the back of his head as he gave a slight nod, giving her the shirt while she stood.

“I won’t look. And, there’s a lock on the bathroom door too.” She smiled, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She took off her shirt and placed it in the sink for it to soak, using the washcloth on the counter to rub off her makeup and the sprite that had dried on her chest and stomach. Right away she put on Zayn’s shirt, trying to ignore the smell of his cologne and sighing when it had stopped right underneath her bottom.

Her shirt was much bigger, stopping mid thigh; she couldn’t help but keep tugging it down as she opened the door and walked out. Zayn looked away, Marie not missing how a slight blush had come to his cheeks as she sat down a ways away from him on the bed.

“Thanks for the shirt.”

“It’s not a problem. Thanks for breaking up the fight. I don’t think I would’ve stopped if you hadn’t done something.” Thinking about the fight brought her anger and curiosity up again as she crossed her arms, brows furrowing as she huffed.

“Well somebody had to. I knew nobody else was going to. And if you don’t mind me asking; why were you guys fighting?” He hesitated at first, looking away from her as he gave a sigh.

“My now ex-girlfriend cheated on me with him. I just broke up with her and I find out that she’s with him now. It’s all just messed up. Then he had the nerve to show up to my sister’s party, in my house. Fucking asshole.” He muttered, running a hand through his messy hair while she twiddled with her fingers. She’d seen Zayn and Lana around school during her sophomore and junior year; it sucks to know that she’d broken his heart.

“I’m sorry. She obviously didn’t deserve you.” He turned to look at her, legs tucked underneath her thighs as she played with her hair that was draped over to one side. He took the chance to really look at her; black curly hair that framed her face in a wild way, golden lines stretching across her thick thighs and arms like stripes.

Now with the makeup gone he could see a few beauty marks here and there, dotting her brown skin like stars in the sky while her full lips stayed in a neutral position and her brown eyes wandered around his room. He remembered her, knew her; they were in the same middle school. He remembered her glasses and how her stomach bulged over her jean shorts when she would sit, how she never went anywhere without a book in her hand.

He remembered the bullies.

“Um, well, I’m thinking about going to bed so, if you need to you can wear that home. Just, bring it back whenever.” Marie didn’t have to be told twice, knowing what it was like to have the need to be alone. So she went to the bathroom and wrung out her shirt as best as she could, fixing her knee socks and pulling down the shirt as best as she could before leaving the bathroom again.

“Uh, Zayn?” He was laying down, head moving to look at her as she sent him a small smile.

“Again, thank you. See you around.” With that she left, leaving Zayn to stare after her in wonder.