Shades of Obsession

Heading towards the street two blocks away, Natalie shivered at the cool autumn air. She glanced at the horizon over the brick buildings. The sun hadn’t risen yet. Fear crawled up her spine, but she swallowed and exhaled. She wasn’t going to let it control her.

But this morning, she had woken up with that nightmare again. Like it was everywhere, stealing her breath away, clenching her lungs in misery. Drowning. The sensation still stung at her ribs. It was a trauma; something she could not fight off, no matter how many years passed.

When a drop of rain hit her shoulder, she jumped. Her heart nearly exploded. It was just rain, nothing else. And it wasn’t going to continue for long. She glanced at the sky through her lashes and her hazel eyes narrowed at the torn clouds.

“You’re not going to catch me unprepared, right?” she murmured under her nose and jogged to the nearby non-stop shop.

Closing the glass door behind her back, she examined the street in fear. There was nobody else outside. It had been just her.

Nobody was following her.

She let out a breath but squeaked when a voice broke out.

“Good morning!” the shop clerk greeted with a tired expression.

Natalie forced a smile.

“Good morning.” She brushed a blonde strand of her hair back and glanced at the just delivered pastry products. Lily was going to love her surprise.

“I’d like two of these.” She pointed at them. The clerk nodded and pulled them out of the tray where they had been placed on.

Leaving the shop with a bag in her hand, she inhaled and wondered if this had been a mistake. Every darker corner, every rattle on the street or a nearby tree made her shake with anxiety. Her life was like this. Drugged with terror and the mind-numbing need to hide.

But with the start of her school year, she wanted to become a bit more independent. She knew she had to if she wanted to escape. She wasn’t going to remain a prisoner of her fear. That psycho wasn’t going to control her life forever.

Clenching her jaw, Nat glared at the street she needed to head to and stomped her foot on the pavement, taking the first step. Yes, this was it. She could do it. When the lights of passing car beamed at her, she gasped and froze.

Just a coincidence, just a coincidence, she repeated in her mind, locked in her horror. The tense seconds it took for the automobile to pass around her and disappear in the distance felt like a lifetime and Natalie saw the moment she fell in that river. It all played again in her head. Her nightmare followed her everywhere she went. In both physical and mental form.

Anger sizzled in her and she balled her fists. She hated him. Her worst fear. Her abuser.

Her stalker.

Seven years ago

Natalie loved it when her mother let her visit her new best friend in the town next to theirs. These weekends were like a breath of fresh air in the habitual grayness of her lonely days.

It had been only two months since she and her family moved to this small town in the suburbs of Arkansas. One of the few friends Nat made in school, actually lived in the adjacent town. This made her feel sad, but on the other hand, she knew it was a good opportunity to disappear for just a bit from her mother Kayla and her sister. It was a rough period for the three of them after her father was caught cheating with one of his co-workers.

“So, Nat, did you watch the new episode of W.I.T.C.H.? I can’t believe Cornelia said that!” Lilith chirped with a huge smile on her face. The two of them had noticeably gotten closer for the short period of time they had known each other.

Natalie’s eyes examined the area around them before she answered her new friend.

“I don’t know... I don’t like her that much...” she mumbled. “Hey, Lilith, don’t you feel like there’s someone watching us? I somehow can’t get rid of that feeling.”

Lilith’s brown eyes opened a bit wider, for a moment shocked by her friend’s question, but she quickly managed to hide her surprise and concealed it by a sly, mischievous smirk.

“Maybe it’s a ghost?” she teased with a spark in her eyes and then shouted louder, “Come on, come and get me, you Casper-wanna-be! You’re not scaring me!”

“Stop it! What if it’s someone dangerous?” Natalie whisper-yelled, anxiousness etched on her small face. She grabbed her hand and squeezed.

“I know almost everybody here. Trust me, there are no cree-”

Before Lilith could finish her sentence, a person around their age, whose face was veiled by a hood, ran in between them and pushed Nat face-down on the ground. She crashed on the paved floor and smacked her nose on it, in the meanwhile her backpack hitting the back of her head.

The unknown person didn’t even flinch, he just kept running in a random direction.

“Hey, you!” Lilith screamed after him and jumped furiously. “What’s your problem?! Why did you push my friend?! Come back here and apologize!”

“Ow...” Natalie moaned and put a hand over her nose. “That hurts. Let’s go to your house.” She didn’t want to admit it, but she was getting really scared, and after this accident, she felt like she needed to hide somewhere inside.

“Are you serious?!” Her friend gaped at her and pointed at the direction the stranger had disappeared off to. “That punk made your nose bleed!”

“Well, what can I do now? He’s gone.” Natalie turned her teary eyes to the direction her friend was pointing at, and took her backpack off of her shoulders, hoping to find some napkins in it.

Lily kneeled next to her and pursed her lips. She was staring at the blood and the redness around Nat’s nose and forehead.

“Hey, wait!” she exclaimed, surprised. Her eyes squinted. “This wasn’t here before!” She eyed Nat’s backpack and grabbed a strange sheet of paper from one of the front zipless pockets. Her mouth fell wide open.

Natalie wiped the blood from her nose and suspiciously glared at the letter. She swung it out of Lilith’s hands before she could read it and opened it.

Her eyes roamed the scribbled letters on the white paper. They were messy and each of them was in a different direction and size. It was very bad handwriting, but surprisingly everything was written correctly.

Lilith moved next to her and stared at the writings of the message.

’Hello, it’s nice to meet you.

I’m sorry I can’t tell you this in person, but I’m afraid you’d reject me or push me away.

Ever since you moved here, I’ve been watching you and I want to tell you that... you’re very pretty and I really like you. I mean, I want us to become friends.

Please, don’t reject me and give my offer a chance! I really care about you and want to get to know you better than listening from the sidelines to your conversations with your friends.

I know you need and like them, but I believe I can become your best friend and spend all my free time with you!

Thank you,

your dear SCRATCHED secret admirer/friend.′

“W-wow.” For the first time since they knew each other Lilith was speechless. “Well... That’s an interesting introduction.”

Nat’s anxious gaze turned to her, trying not to crack and start crying. She wasn’t sure what to do. This was the first time someone had told her they liked her, even if the method was this obsolete and kind of violent.

“What?!” Lily exclaimed. “Don’t look at me like that! I don’t know him! But by his height, I guess he’s a year or two older than us. We’ll probably meet him at school. And then I’ll make sure to talk to him eye to eye.” The black-haired girl stood up, crossed her arms and laughed. “By the look on your face, I can tell this was your first confession! It’s a pity it was done this way!” She grimaced. “I recommend that you stay away from him. He almost broke your nose!”

Present time

“Guess who came to get you, dear princess!” Natalie chirped through her phone’s microphone. The few seconds of silence on the other end told her to take a few steps back and to look at the window on the third floor of the building.

And she guessed correctly. A figure showed up on it and Lilith’s voice boomed through the line. “Oh, and where’s my ride?! You didn’t come here on foot, right?! A princess shouldn’t be roaming around the streets just like that!”

“Your loyal guard is here to protect you! I’m at your service, Milady!”

They giggled and Lilith disappeared into her room. Nat immediately felt much better. Just seeing her best friend made her feel so much safer than a few minutes ago. She knew she wasn’t alone anymore.

Lily appeared from the entrance door, running with her backpack swinging in her hand. When she reached her, she glared and studied her from head to toe.

“Girl, I told you I should be the one to get you every morning! I don’t want to see you alone,” she said and pulled her in for a tight hug.

“I know, Lilly. I just wanted to be the one to surprise you, not the other way around. I can at least once in a while, right?” Nat chuckled over her shoulder and stepped back. She lifted the bag. “And look, I bought us food!”

Lily grinned and her eyes widened with excitement. “Awesome! How can I not love you when you know all my favorite treats and manage to spoil me so well with them! You know, with all the bad things that happened to you when we met each other, there was one good thing.”

Natalie eyed her curiously.

“Five years ago, you moved just a few blocks away from me. We could be together all the time!” She removed the envelope of the chocolate croissant and greedily licked her lips.

Nat’s lips twisted into a smile. She adored her positive mood and view of life. Lilith could see the good things even in the worst of times. She needed that. She needed someone like her best friend that would be with her no matter what happened.

When Natalie looked at the orange-red sunrise and brushed her hair to the side, the thought school was starting again finally sank in. And with that, her phobia followed. If she had to go to school, that meant she couldn’t hide behind the confinement of her room. She couldn’t be with Lily all the time, either.

Her heart clenched in misery. Ever since that nightmare began seven years ago, Natalie never felt safe. Not even when her stalker had disappeared for a few months and she had thought she could finally breathe. No, it was all a lie. He was like a vine, wrapping around her and torturously squeezing the life out of her.

...

“Hello, Mars to Natalie! You’ll drop your food!” Lilith joked, sitting on the ground next to her. For the first school day, lunch had arrived moderately quickly.

“Oh, hey, Lilly!” Natalie greeted and continued staring at her sandwich under the shade of her favorite tree in the school’s yard.

People around were laughing and joking with each other, gathering in groups and getting to know each other. They were so different from her. Natalie always chose one place where she felt relatively safe and knew no one could surprise her behind her back. It felt like the tree gave her some sort of protection.

She chuckled to herself. That was far from reality, but she still enjoyed the rustle of the leaves and the grass under her legs.

Lilith poked her with her elbow and questioned with a small frown on her face, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Nat forced a smile. Her bestie knew her too well. That’s why she never lied to her. “I just somehow... feel watched. It’s like that feeling from seven years ago is back with full force and it’s haunting me.”

“What? Are you serious?” Lily stood up, her protectiveness activating, but her rushed movements made her foot get stuck in the fabric of the jacket she was sitting on. She staggered forward, swinging towards Natalie.

Lilith yelped and, before she could fall on her friend, big hands grabbed her shoulders and supported her weight. She was back on her feet.

The two girls whirled their heads and searched for the owner of the arms. A man, obviously a student, stood in front of them. He was tall and muscular with a long-sleeved shirt and glasses. His hair was light brown and it was stylishly sleeked back. He smiled confidently at the dazed Lilith and then his mysterious eyes turned to Natalie. His smile grew, and soon, the girls could see his straight white teeth behind his lips.

“Be careful, girls. I don’t want you to get hurt. That wouldn’t make a very pleasant morning.” His voice was so friendly, just like his whole appearance and demeanor.

“Oh, thanks...” Lilith murmured, feeling a bit awkward.

He grinned at her.

“Well, see ya.” He waved casually and disappeared into the crowd.

Lily exhaled and plopped back on her jacket, flabbergasted.

“Well, that was intense. He literally just showed up out of nowhere!” she noted, still wide-eyed.

“That was kind of amazing. He definitely saved us from a pain-filled morning.” Natalie took a big gulp from her cold tea. She looked at the direction of the stranger.

He was talking to some other boys on a bench and when he caught her stare, he smiled lightly.