Chapter 1
Shiny Locker & needs
MONDAY, AUGUST 18. 5:59 am
It's the first day of senior year and I'm already dreading the day and I haven’t even been to first block yet. I could be home right now but that would mean that I would be home with HIM and when im home with HIM I wish I can be somewhere else. If im alone with HIM I would be made a joke out of.
HE doesn’t feel love and happiness.
HE feels hate and fire.
I want to talk. He wants me to shut up.
I know its HIS fault. HE thinks it’s my fault.
HE is the Devil But im, not an ANGEL
“Here you go Mr.Lupia and welcome back to Social High School,” the small lady behind the front desk says handing me my timetable that holds all of my classes and old locker number on it. Grabbing the sheet of paper I nod my head in appreciation and make my way out of the office and to my locker.
The halls are empty.No one is here yet. only me and a few staff members and the walls with silent cries. When I reach my locker 67B2 on the second floor I open the dusty thing and grab the new books the school oh, so willingly provided and stuffed them in my bookbag.
My first class was the same as the years before. Creative writing.
Since I have more than enough time before the bell rings and students show up I grab a little packet of tissues and some hand sanitizer from the side pocket of my book bag and begin to clean my pale green locker free of any dust and cobwebs. It doesn’t take long for it to hit 6:50am and people are pilling in the halls talking to their friends and taking pictures with everyone but me. My locker is now the shiniest one here great, I was trying to clean it a little not make it stand out.
“real shiny locker you got there” A feminine voice say from the locker next to me. I don’t look at them. I don’t say thanks. Silence is all I greet them with. silence is all I have given anyone in the last 11 years. slamming my locker shut with a big bang that grabs everyone’s attention I grab my book bag and slang it over my right arm and quickly make my way to first block since the bell has already rung.
When I reach Creative Writing I am greeted by Mr.Moreno my most favourite teacher in this school”Hello Mr lupia. Its nice to see one of my favourite writers” my cheeks turn red but I don’t lift my head to meet his eyes”your seat is the last one by the back window, I hope to be wowed by your work this final year ” nodding my head I walk in the classroom fully and take my seat with my head down .
when I hear the door close and my cheeks start to feel cooled down I look up to see Mr.Moreno walking in after a group of kids “EVERYONE LISTEN UP!!” yells Mr.Moreno attracting the attention of the loud students in this large room.
“today’s writing assignment is on ’don’t need but need’and what I mean by that is you can write anything based off of something that you don’t need but need at the same time. It can be a poem, a short story or a song anything just wow me” he ends with a wink.
That has most of the girls swooning. Mr.Moreno is not a bad looking guy, to be honest, but i'm not into that teacher and student love stuff.
And im, not GAY
Pulling out my notebook I begin my poem on ‘don’t need but need’
When im finish with my work and I am somewhat pleased with it I tear it out of my notebook and walk to the teacher’s desk to turn it in.
I am unseen. I am quite.
No one notices me as I hand my work in and no one notices me when I return back to my seat. I am invisible to all. And to all, I am the scraps on a plate ready to get thrown away. when I arrive at my seat I take in my surrounding.
Bob Bayer, the boy that sits in front of me smells like old eggs and onion with his messy long hair touching my desk while it leaves a trail of dandruff flakes behind every time he runs his hands through it.
Gross.
Daniel Gonzales sits in the middle of the class with his popular group. Daniel is the calmest and laid back kid in this school. with a different hairstyle every 2 months. Never repeats.
Ally Day, the girl to my left is pretty. she is brown skinned and has a head full of braids that are in a high ponytail and glossy lips. she’s from Ireland. I think most of her clothes are from hot topic. she looks short like 5′1 short compared to my barely 5′9 height. She’s a queen in my eyes. An evil bad ass queen. I want her as a friend.
“what ya looking at the kid” The dark skin queen turns to glare at me
. “...“I raise my eyebrows at her. She doesn’t scare me. She doesn’t even know me.
“so ya don’t talk or some?” She questions not letting the conversation go.
“...” scoffing I turn back to my open notebook and begin to sketch a graveyard.
“I like ya kid, ya tough” she laughs “the name Ally Day” she throws her hand out.
I flinch is she going to hit me?
“Oi! chill kid I won’t hurt ya, why ya jumping anyways. Is it cause i'm black “I don’t know if she serious or playing so I just shrug my shoulders and shake my head no.
Ally day is a total badass. from what I heard and witnessed, she once beat a kid in the pod when he tried to grab her hair after she said ‘don’t touch some ya can’t buy’ he should have listened to her poor kid was just a freshman at the time. while I and Ally were in our 3rd year.
“Don’t I remember ya from somewhere?” she says”Wait ya that one kid who pissed his pants freshman year. huh?” she serious now but I can see in her eyes she wants to laugh.
“...” I can’t lie and say no since there are pictures so I just nod my head and hide my red cheeks from her comment.
“ya know im the one you gave ya the new pants right? and I couldn’t even get a thank ya.” she says “but ’s alright I heard ya don’t talk or some like that”
I feel thankful she doesn’t make a scene about it. I want to tell her ‘thank you’ but I can’t, i'm too afraid to speak. Because of HIM
“why don’t ya talk anyway. ya lost ya voice or some ”
I want to tell her, I want to tell someone what happened to me I don’t want HIM to get away but I have no say in this. HE is more powerful.
“...“I don’t reply like always I just shake my head. The graveyard is looking more realistic I should add zombie hands in it.
But before I can continue Mr.Moreno speaks”Can I please have everyone attention I picked my favourite one” his pale green eyes meet my mixed matched eyes “It is by Mr.lupia and its called ‘I need them’
” Please no please don’t do this to me. Is want I want to say but that will require me to talk and to talk will mean HE will find out I spoke.
“I DON’T NEED A BLADE TO FEEL IN CONTROL. I DON'T NEED A ROPE TO JUMP. I DON'T NEED BRIDGE TO FLY. I DON'T NEED A GUN TO HOLD POWER TO MY HEAD. I DON'T NEED TEARS TO FEEL FREE. I DON'T NEED MONEY TO BE HAPPY. I DON'T NEED FRIENDS TO FEEL COMPLETE. I DON'T NEED A FAKE SMILE TO SHOW THE PAIN YOU CAN'T SEE. BUT FOR SOME REASON I STILL KNOW I NEED THEM. -ANDY LUPIA ”
“loser” some big dude on the opposite side shouts “you never had friends you broke hobo”
Joey Fisher has now made his deathbed.
Turning sideways in her seat Ally yells”ya want me to pound ya face in kid” she looks mad “because I will punch ya so hard you will go into a coma ya hear me kid.” shes calm now deadly calm. scary calm.
Joey Fisher stays quiet for the rest of the class.
Ally Day isn’t afraid of anything she wears her feelings on her sleeves and she doesn’t care if she gets in trouble for standing up for what and who she believes in.
Ally Day is not my queen.
Ally Day is my hero.
