1| New York
New York
New York is the most visually stunning place, in my eyes. It has everything I look for in a city. I find it a perfect representation of my dream place to live.
I love the people, the loud noises and the crowds that get you excited over nothing, and the busy streets.
The variety of noises and deafening shouting sound like music to my ears. I sometimes get overwhelmed when looking up. The tall buildings closing in sometimes make you realize how small you are.
How you're just one simple piece of a large chessboard waiting for your turn. But when you do move, when it is finally your turn, it's the best feeling in the world. It's the thrill you get when you accomplish something. It turns the booming street noises into voices cheering you on.
It persuades you to keep moving and makes you more patient when you have to wait. The city that never sleeps has people moving day and night. It motivates you to do the same.
I always wondered what it would be like to live in such a industrious city with bright yellow cabs accelerating and never ending traffic sounds.
The scent of New York hit me first when I came here. It's an addictive smell that you drink up right away when you walk outside. It makes you never want to leave. Maybe that's why it's so crowded. The smell.
For me it was a mixture between smelling the scent of food stalls parked on every corner and the constant contact with people. The energy and movement of the crowded streets of the constant evolving city make me fall in love everyday all over again, but the sounds I heard once I arrived were the main reasons I stayed. The heels clicking on the cobblestone sidewalks of many woman wearing their work attire.
The fast pace you immediately imitate when you step outside the door of your shoebox apartment. The first thing I love to do in the morning is walk to the coffee shop next door. I tend to order the same thing every single day a simple but delicious black coffee that I have to softly blow on for it to cool off the entire way to class.
I take the subway to class and I love the beep the machine makes when it scans my subway card. It reminds me that I'm going somewhere, I'm doing something with my life.
I walk the last few blocks to class and when I arrive my coffee has always cooled off enough to drink. I tend to take small sips of my coffee while I sit down and wait for the class to start. I quickly wave at acquaintances- who I don't know well enough to personally consider them my friends.
I have a few friends but never have close ones. I don't mind though, the constant touching while roaming the city or standing in the subway makes it tiresome for me.
When my classes are finished I study at the small coffee shop next to the large college building and order another coffee while I'm at it. I drink a lot of coffee while in New York. I want to blend in with the big crowd that seems to never get any sleep. I want to achieve the things they achieve.
It took a long time for me to finally get the balls to move to New York. I remember my high school years of sticking pictures of New York City at night on my wall and stare at them for the longest time wishing it would somehow transport me to it, far far away from my hometown.
I hated high school but I loved the friends I had. I always seemed to care more about them than they did about me though.
It always seemed like I was pushing my friend group to stick together over the years but when I left I heard they were still doing the things I used to participate in with them. I heard they're doing good. Together.
Jealousy overtook me at times. I missed them but it wasn't like i couldn't live without them. I did somehow figure they would slowly drift apart but I guess they didn't. I guess I wasn't the glue between them.
Which is fine. It's totally okay.
My three best friends and I have made a of memories together for me to treasure. They weren't the smartest crowd to run with but I turned out fine so it didn't matter. Our group was formed when our parents introduced us when we were little.
We go way back. It wasn't the type of group that you knew was going to last forever but we did help each other out and be there for one another when one of us needed someone. We all knew never it wasn't going to last so we spent as much time together as possible.
It was the biggest reason that I was happy and content with moving away. All of us were going to achieve something big and we were all just helping each other out with getting through this faze of life.
My parents were the only reason that made me sad with moving away. I had a nice family. A little sister and two loving parents.
You could tell that we were the most normal family in town by just looking at our house. It was plain, modern and boring. Somehow, I was happy with it. I was happy with living there because I knew that it wasn't permanent.
I knew I was going somewhere in the future and this was just a short while. Everything in that neighborhood wasn't going to last forever.
It made me feel excited for what was to come.
My parents did call frequently, telling me every detail what was happening in the town. There was never something exciting going on so my mother usually ranted about my fathers cooking for about 30 minutes and than asked me if I knew where the remote control was.
My mother was not a helicopter mom but she did feel a little concerned with me moving.
She didn't know if it was the smartest idea since I never really did something while living there to get a start with pursuing my dreams.
Money for college was also a problem. I was going to be in debt when I finished college, no doubt but I still believed that if I got the proper education that I would pay it off later on. She was supportive eventually but always called to make sure I was doing okay.
"I could fly you over next weekend! I'll pay the flight if you just promise not to miss it again." She spoke over the phone. I could sense her jumping up and down in excitement. "Your sister misses you, we haven't seen you in so long!"
"I bought you a flight last year to come visit me. I could just do it again." I yawned over the phone. I wasn't very interested in the whole flying-back-home-and-leaving-New-York thing.
"Where are you? It sounds like you're echoing."
"Taking a shit."
I could practically feel her rolling her eyes before sighing dramatically. "Don't use that language when talking to me, please. I don't appreciate your honesty."
"You raised me like this. Deal with this honest spawn of yours." I replied, flushing the toilet. It made a gargling sound as I walked outside my bathroom and headed towards my small, crappy kitchen.
"Probably a spawn of the devil." I heard her mutter under her breath. I opened the fridge while gasping dramatically over the phone.
"Mom" I said, carefully "Are you trying to tell me that you had a love child with the devil?" I let out another exaggerated gasp and picked up one of the pre-made ice coffees I kept in my fridge. I shut the door with my hip as I kept the phone against my ear.
"I never said that I was your mother, Kid." I scoffed at first but than I thought about it.
"That actually makes so much sense than." I heard her chuckle softly on the other end and smiled to myself. It was nice to keep in contact with people who actually knew you well.
I never really had that here. I came for a reason and I was pretty competitive with others who were trying to achieve the same thing.
I couldn't help it. Probably another reason that made being birthed by the devil feel accurate.
"Please, consider it at least." She practically pleaded.
I took a sip of my coffee as I thought about it for a second. I would only be there for the summer but I would miss New York like crazy and my plan for getting extra work done would be thrown overboard. But I would see my family again. And my friends.
"Fine I'll come." I gave in slowly and listened to her scream for my father. "Robert! That weird girl is coming home for the summer!" She screamed.
I scoffed. "Excuse me, I haven't been gone for that long, surely you haven't forgotten my name in such a short while."
"It's been three long long years since you've been here, I barely know what you look like anymore." Her exaggeration irritated me. Why couldn't she be a little more proud or supportive than this? I was out here following my dreams while my mother was begging me to return to my past.
"I flew you out last year." I gritted out through my teeth, but of course my mother didn't notice it and continued with the dramatic voice. "That was fivehundredtwentyfivethousandsixhundred minutes ago." She whined.
"You know that I'm graduating college next year. I could just come than instead of leaving now." I tried to reason but she wasn't having any of it and fired back quickly after.
"Calling you is not the same as seeing you in person. You are missed here, not only by me but by your friends too. Aunt Carol asked about you the other day and Aunt Laura was also complimenting you on how hard you must work. Lexie and the rest of the Brady Bunch miss you too." My mother tried to persuade me in coming home.
"Well, if Aunty Laura is so proud of me for working hard why don't I keep making her proud by staying here, working hard."
"Because she misses you just like the rest of us." She was literally begging now.
"I'll only show up if Taylor Lautner shows up as well." I stated and I felt her roll her eyes again.
"Well, we do have a special guest here right now." She said, wickedly "Are your grandfathers ashes an exception?"
"Mom!" I shouted over the phone. "That's so disrespectful."
She giggled back at me. "How is that disrespectful? I'm simply saying that your dear grandfather has waited long enough for you to show up and wants to see you...even if he can't really see you or talk to you or-" I stopped her because this was going way too far.
"I get it. I get it." I heard her sigh before continuing. "Moral of the story, it will be disrespectful towards your grandfather if you don't come now that I have brought him up." She stated.
"Don't bring my grandfather into this." I hissed back.
"You asked for it." She replied, still sounding giddy. My mom never grew up. She always sounded like a hyper 5 year old receiving a chocolate chip cookie for the first time.
"Fine, I'll come." I sighed again.
"I know, you've already said that and I already bought the plane tickets for you."
"Well, why did you bring my grandfather into this if you already knew I was going to come?" I asked, annoyed. She knew how touchy that subject was to me but in her mind everything was funny. She had never taken anything seriously.
Probably why she was fired from 15 different jobs in the past. Somehow, it never bothered her. She was always excited to look for a new one.
She liked introductions and always practiced exactly what she was going to say for her job interviews about 50 times before.
"So, when am I coming home then?" I asked her, tired of this conversation. I sipped on my drink while she spoke.
"Tomorrow morning. I sent you every detail in an email. Good luck! Peace out!" She squealed and hung up the phone quickly before I could protest that it was way to soon and way to early.
Shit.
I sipped on my drink before throwing it roughly in the trash can next to my counter.
I wasn't particularly happy with other people deciding things for me. I liked the independence I had when living alone.
Of course, I liked people and liked to be social but I never had a roommate because of this.
I guess I needed to pack then. I knew my mother wasn't going to change her mind about this or...literally anything so I was going to have to follow her rules.
I'm 20 years old and I'm still following my mothers rules.
Great.
