A little biased

"I would rate this story more, but this is only the prologue, and I don't want to write a biased opinion. So good so far, just get rid of the "Jeep Cherokee" and the "Shoes" bit, Its just telling us how they look instead of showing us. And the pros of showing us is that you can even sneak a little foreshadowing, like this. Tom's shoes trambled over the grass, cracking and crunching noises of the autumn leaves below invaded his mind and kept his head blank. Can turn into! Tom stood still, his hands shaking. He then quickly ran over the floor, the cracking and crunching of human remains made noises below his feet as he fell to the ground, gagging. Well, that's it, I guess, can't wait for more. P.S, even when describing the jeep can have some foreshadowing, as the color could even foreshadow the time of day, you could describe the jeep going fast, symbolizing how fast the day went for Korey! ~Yours Truly, Ruenigami"