Prologue
I wake up as usual. My body still sluggish and my eyes trying to shut themselves as I move around. I check my phone on my pillow next to me which reads 6:06. I move and get up from my bed after a while and then look down when I see something pink in my peripheral. I jump and then I realize it's my hair.
“Oh yeah that's right. I dyed it yesterday.” I say, yawning. “Welp!” I say a little more peppy after being scared by my own hair, “First day of school, I can't miss it!”
I get up and go to the shower immediately and admire myself in the mirror.
“Look at you girl! You're so beautiful and I love your new hair! You're gonna kill it today!”
After thoroughly admire I take off my clothes and do the one thing I dread the most. Taking off my panties. As soon as I take them off I feel horrible seeing the only part of my old self left. I have this “thing” hanging off me and I absolutely hate it. I immediately look away and continue to get in the shower. Just don't think about about it you know you can't help it surgery is expensive! Every time I see it I'm reminded that I'm not like other girls. I was never told I was a woman when I was born but that didn't stop me.
I grab my phone real quick and go to spotify and turn on Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me!. I'm singing in the shower and admiring my new hair and my body that I just can't get over. I feel so proud of myself for doing this, I'm going to a new school in full girl mode! I'm so happy! I get out of the shower and dry myself off and then go to my closet.
“Hmmmmm, what should I wear today?” I look through the clothes meticulously searching for a cute outfit. “I need to make a good impression on the first day, So how about something me.” I end up picking out a pink sweatshirt with a black skirt and some leggings.
“Yaaaasssss queeeeen” I say to myself in the mirror and I head out my bedroom door. I quickly stop and realize I forgot my phone in the bathroom and say a less than desirable word. I run back to my room and find it playing The Fratellis. I grab it and I see the bunch of texts from my dad telling me to come downstairs for breakfast and I instinctively groan. I yell “I'm coming daaaaaadd!!” and I run out my bedroom door.
I get to the kitchen and I can tell he got up early making some breakfast for us.
“What's on the menu padre?” I ask him and he answers back.
“How do you feel about cinnamon pancakes?”
“Ohhhhh yesss please” I get excited as he drops them on my plate. “What's the special occasion for you making cinnamon pancakes?” I inquire.
“Well,” he says, “my little girl is going to a new school exactly the way she wants to! As a woman and I couldn't be more happy that you're proud of your body!” I blush and look at my pancakes and start devouring them.
My dad Jean is very gay and he devotes almost his whole life to me and people like me. He works as a manager for an LGBTQ organization called Honeycomb that helps people like me with anything they need such as housing, money, or food.
“Oh my gosh these are the best!” I say with my mouth full of pancakes.
“I made them like I do everytime Rose. I would think you would be used to it by now,” her father says surprised.
“Well then somehow they just keep getting better!” I say also surprised. I check my phone and the time reads 7:09. “I gotta go! I need to figure out where all my classes are before school starts!”
“Alright I'll get the car keys,” he says as I run to my room and grab my backpack.
I come back down and go with my dad to the car. I turn on the rock station and start dancing with my dad. I start thinking about things. Oh God what if someone knows me or clocks me. I'm starting this new life just so no one knows. My father sees the worry on my face and he turns off the radio parking the car on the side of the road.
“What's wrong sweetheart?” He says softly, concerned.
“What if they know? What if I don't pass well enough? What if they hate how I act?” My heart starts beating and I look around at everything breathing harder. Dad pulls me into his arms and hugs me.
“You look beautiful sweetheart, I doubt anyone would even be able to tell that you're trans. I know that you're scared but it’ll be alright I'm always here for you to talk.”
“Okay Dad,” I say, calmed down now.
