Chapter 1
Magret Margret looked up and saw the dark clouds spinning. She focused on her legs, which she thought had been cut off her body due to the cold water beneath. What was her fate and where would this log be taking her? She cried to God as she struggled to keep her eyes open to no avail. As she lost all consciousness, her hands gave way and the log she had been holding onto slipped. With her inactive body, there was no option but to start sinking as the bubbles of the air from her nose grew smaller. In her mind, she heard noises like those made by children in a playground. The noises must have been nearby because they sounded loud; she gave herself some hope. Still when she tried to move her body, it would not give in. It was like she had been thrown into a slim pit that only fitted her body, and all she could do was slide down, deeper and deeper.
Her mind drifted slowly as she awaited her death. She had given herself hope all day that she would get help in one way or the other. She had therefore swum with a kind of strength she never thought she had. She knew that the pirate ship could not be following her because she had heard them speaking in worried voices before the other ship came by and a loud commanding voice of a man had asked them questions which had been answered in fear, just before she escaped. She had watched her husband’s body as she wondered whether to throw it in the sea or just leave it on the deck of the ship belonging to those bloodthirsty pirates. She could still remember the harsh sound of the captain’s gun as the bullets tore into Grey’s body. Her husband had been brave enough to fight with the five crew men just to save her from the raping they had promised.
Once again, she thanked God for bringing the ship that came almost as soon as her husband died. Although it came a little late because her husband died all the same, and she was not even allowed to hug him goodbye, she was grateful. If God had given her a chance, she would have thanked the man with the commanding voice with so much gratitude. She wished she had peeped, just to see his face and register it in her memory. You never knew she might meet him on her way back home. She had received hard thumping just before the horn from the other ship came through. She had narrowly escaped after hitting, with a rod, and leaving one of the crew men- who was left to watch over her- unconscious and jumping into the sea without minding the sharp pain that came from the wounds on her face.
It had been a long day as she had struggled to swim to whichever direction her body chose. She had swum the whole morning all the while thinking about the very sweet life that she, and her husband, would have enjoyed. They had just married and they were supposed to enjoy their honeymoon in the waters of this wonderful sea. They had rented a boat and filled it with food and everything else they would need on their happy experiences. Little did she know that the same wonderful sea was going to take her newlywed husband directly to heaven. Now in her state, she knew it would not be long before she followed him. Life was not always fair to her. She had asked God what she had done to deserve this treatment. She recalled her mother who loved her so much and in her deathbed, she did not even mention the whereabouts of her dad- another unfair part that this life had played on her. Thinking about that, she wondered whether destiny really did not want her to have any close relationship with any man. She had never gotten a fatherly hug, something she yearned for so badly.
For all her life, she had been devoted to doing good, but what had her deeds repaid her with? What, if not cruelty? Tears had flowed and the salty water had washed them away as she swam harder and harder without looking back. When she had felt a need for air, she had swum to the surface and gulped it so hard before opening her eyes and just a few meters away, there was floating log and somehow the water had been pushing it farther away from her.
She had swum with renewed delight and had held onto it as she breathed hard from a mixture of exhaustion and thankfulness. Somehow, God was still with her and giving her grace in awesome ways. She remembered the kids who she called her own. They must have prayed for her in earnest hence the log appearing from nowhere. They were good kids and although they were impaired, she had been determined to give them hope. A hope that they never lacked ability to go for their dreams- and most of them had been strong enough to make it. She never cared about the many awards she received from the government or the many praises she got from people. All she cared about was the future of her kids. She smiled when she remembered the old man who had come to ask for her hand in marriage. Her mother was alive then, though ailing. He had told her that the man was a politician and an old friend but Magret had despised him. She hated politicians although her mother used to tell her that she was destined to be one. She wondered what her mother really meant and every time she wanted to dig into the topic, her mother only smiled and told her that it would be a story for another day.
Now here she was in the sea and going nowhere in reality. Her mother must have been wrong all along. She wasn't destined to be a politician. This kind of death by water was her destiny. Even if the two of them had never died- her husband and her, it wouldn't have been so. Her deceased husband had also hated politics and there had been no way she would have become a politician after marrying Grey.
She had looked ahead and had seen the sun setting- meaning she was going west.
All this time she was sinking deeper into the waters and as this happened, her mind was racing fast. Her body on the other hand was completely inactive. Anyone would have seen her and concluded that she was dead. Maybe she was. Dead- yes that is what she was. What else could she be if not dead? She had no hope of living especially now that she was lowering deeper towards the bottom of the sea. She was dead and nothing better. The love of her life had died too and now the only reason she wanted to live was the children. Oh no! She couldn't be dead. She had to fight because she had kids who looked up to her. She prayed one more time and tried to open her eyes. It was impossible. Even the remaining oxygen in her body was completely used up. She thought it was cool to give up fighting and just die. She saw, in her imagination, a white bright light before her and Grey appeared. He was stretching his hand and welcoming her to the other world. He seemed to be smiling, then all of a sudden, his face darkened. Right then she noticed in her lethargic mind that she had landed on something soft. What could it be? Could it be possible that, before the angels received someone, they first landed on a soft surface and started rising like it was happening now? But Grey had disappeared. What could be happening? She couldn't help asking herself.
Magret Margret concentrated again and felt the rising cease and the vertical movement now changed into a horizontal one. She did not know what was really happening and she had an anxious feeling of wanting to know. What if she was headed to hell and not to that place where the righteous had been promised? What if the fire that she had heard about was eagerly waiting to consume her to time unending? She started being scared. Of course, no one wanted to burn forever. She would not mind so much if the fire would consume her completely and leave her alone to die. But, this fire was to consume her everlastingly. It would definitely be unbearable.
The scary thoughts had not really left her mind when from so far a distance she heard noises again deep inside her mind. She tried to concentrate and get herself to understand what the noise was all about. She did not know exactly whether it was the angels welcoming her or the cry of pain from the people who were burning in anguish. The more she tried to listen the more the voices seemed to fade away. What really was happening to her? Are these the steps that Grey passed through? If they were, then she could understand why everyone feared death. However, she had not read anywhere that it would be completely dark in heaven or wherever the saints went. This is what was giving her goose bumps. Maybe she was heading towards the dreaded direction. God must have passed the judgment a long time ago and now this was the time for her to serve her sentence.
Then all of a sudden she was dropped on a sandy ground. She was finally here- she concluded. She tried to open her eyes although she knew very well that it would be impossible. This time though, the eyes opened and she saw blurred images of the blue sky and the white clouds going in circles. More voices came across. This time she could gather that the voices were from two children arguing probably about her. She tried to roll her eyes and see who they were and what they would be talking about but the same feeling, of being dead already, was still there.
***
Paloe gave Kren another stunning look and hit him at the back.
“This lady will only be an extension of our problems Kren. I still can’t imagine what grandma will say about her. It will be hell if we take her home.” Paloe was saying.
“Are you serious, Paloe? Is this what we've been taught?”
“It is not a matter of what we are taught or not. It is about our safety. And may I remind you what happened to that family of the boy, Josh. I’m sorry I can’t do this. Let her be. She is not even breathing, so how do we know she is alive?”
“Come on Paloe you saw how she opened her eyes and seemed to be concentrating on some infinite being...”
“Oh you’re just about to turn poetic. Listen to yourself.” Paloe said and smiled, as she pulled Kren’s hand and asked him to forget it.
“Look, Paloe, she is shedding tears. She must be in grief and all we can do here is argue whether to help her or not?” Kren, who was always concerned about other people started to pump the strange woman’s chest.
“Paloe please, come and give her some air using your mouth. This is the only time I've begged you so seriously. Don’t take that for granted. You will remember it one time.”
***
Magret was still thinking of how soon Grey had left her and the cold body that lay in front of her as she tried to reach out. She was remembering how those crazy pirates were holding her captive and seriously preventing her from even touching her dead husband’s body. She could feel the tears flow out of her eyes as a realization struck her that she might or might not meet either her mother or Grey in this paradise that she had only heard of. She remembered those kids who always looked at her with hope and belief. She knew that she wouldn't see them again. She knew they would cry when they realized that their ‘mother’ was no more. They would wait for long before they got a perfect replacement. When all these passed through her mind, she couldn't help but just cry. She could have opened her mouth and sobbed to eternity if she had that ability. She was dead and all she could do was to await judgment. Her cry was only seen in the tears that flowed, and she wouldn't have stopped them even if she had wanted to.
Then some small hands started pushing her chest. She felt that too and wondered whether ‘they’ really did this in heaven. Or maybe they first woke you up, and then they threw you into the blazing fire, in hell of course. She wanted to know what was happening and so she opened her mouth to let air in. Instead, water came out and no air came in. The hands doubled and became four. Oh my God, that must be a young devil- she shuddered. More water came out of her mouth just before two hands withdrew and tiny lips held her mouth as other tiny fingers held her nose. She could feel all this but she couldn't do anything about it. She was dead, wasn't she?
Water came out again and this time she felt her body warming. Something she couldn't really comprehend was happening within her body. She felt an urge for air and she gasped, opening her mouth so wide to take up as much air as she possibly could. When she couldn't get enough she sat straight and supporting herself with the elbows, she took up more air. She felt a little better. She could now see the surroundings. The first thing she saw were the two children standing in front of her and looking like scarecrows due to the huge sweaters they wore. The sweaters’ sleeves were wet at the hem and their feet were filled with sand. She wanted to ask them where exactly she was when they jumped up in happiness. The boy was actually happy, happier than the girl was. He was jumping and singing in some funny tunes as well as dancing in a particular way, which Magret thought she was familiar with. She couldn't really understand why they were jumping and dancing happily.
She opened her mouth to ask what was happening but the voice did not come through. She looked around. To her left was a huge cliff that was too tall for her to see the top. To her left was the deep blue sea, which was getting black, probably because it was evening. She had been in that sea. In front of her were the sandy shores and the cliff, which carved to somewhere she wondered whether she would have time to know. Behind her, the cliff extended.
“Did you see that dolphin that brought her?” The boy was asking.
“It wasn't a dolphin, it was a whale.” The girl answered as if she wanted to put up a fight.
“Do you even know the difference between the two? When did you ever hear a whale saving a human being? You would even say it was a shark. I know you.”
Things started falling into place. So Magret had started sinking and even before she landed to bottom of the sea, a dolphin had taken her up and swam with her directly to these shores. And once she was dropped here, these two kids were around and they saw it. They must have come to take a closer look and they decided to save her life.
“Come on Kren, let’s go. Grandma must be wondering what we are doing out this late.” The girl told the boy.
“Don’t say we are going to leave her here Paloe.”
“All I care about Kren is what our grandma will do if we bring her home. You remember what she said about Josh’s family being sent to work in the castle. A lot of hard work with no pay.”
“Yes but it was their mistake, wasn't it? They should have informed the royal families about the stranger. And that is what we will do.” Kren argued.
“You don’t understand Kren. We don’t have all that time. Come, let’s go.” Paloe pulled Kren and they followed the line along the sea until they disappeared through the path that led to their home. Kren was hesitant, but Paloe, who was bigger than him, and of course stronger, pulled him away and off they went. Magret tried to call out to them but the voice seemed to have vanished. All she could do was to stretch her arm and open her mouth as she helplessly watched them disappear to places unknown to her.
She looked at the direction they had gone and decided to follow them. When she tried to sit up, her muscles could not bulge. She fell back and decided, with a finality that she would ask God to take her away; now that the little flicker of hope that she had seen had been put out. She would ask God as many questions as she possibly could about her life, when they met. All she had done was being good to people. And all she had gotten in return was bad luck. Sometimes she even prayed that she should not get someone who would be extremely close to her. She would only be bringing him or her nothing but bad luck. Even in her schooling days, with all the goodness that could even be seen by teachers, most of her schoolmates hated her with a passion. And as if not enough, the teachers always seemed to look for a chance of punishing her. Most were the times when she got punished for offenses she had not even committed.
Now that the hope she had, had been shuttered and her body wasn't willing to do her a favor too, she lay supine and closed her eyes. She felt a strong feeling of comfort immediately she did that. It was as if she was home- a home she had never been to. A home she was born to live in. A home she would die in and leave grandchildren to look after. She shuddered at that thought. Where was she to get grandchildren with her husband already dead? Again here she was in a land she did not know anything about. She did not even know whether she was back to the shore where her husband and she had together watched the dark sea and felt the caress of the late night breeze. She did not know whether she had been taken so far away from that same beach. She was completely confused. Maybe she would get help and one day soon she would be back there- where her kids awaited her.
However this comfortable feeling that had engulfed her was so strange that the confusion she already had grew intense. The puzzle of where exactly fate wanted to take her seemed so hard to solve. All of a sudden, her memory started racing and things she had not remembered since her childhood started flowing in her mind- incident after the other. She remembered the jade and even without knowing, her hand moved directly to her chest, between the breasts where the jade securely rested. The memory rush took her directly to that day when she had just turned seven. Her mother had been very cross with her, just because she had lost the jade. She could remember her mother searching for it with so much devotion you would think the jade was her life. She could even see clearly how she found it and came with rage to her.
“Do you know what this jade means? You would never have lost it if you knew.”
Her mother was saying. But how could she know what the jade represented? She was only seven and her mother had promised that she would explain what the jade really meant the day Magret would turn eighteen. Magret had waited for that day every time asking about her father but her mother always said that she would know everything on her eighteenth birthday. Unfortunately, her mother had died when she was fifteen and on her deathbed, she had tried to explain. She was too weak to say something that Magret could understand. That day, Magret had seen something that shocked her. Her mother had exactly the same jade that she had and some kind of a bungle that had the same calibrations as the jade. The bungle was just above her left elbow and how it fitted the very fat arm was a shock to her.
Mother had given her the bungle and she had said that no matter what happened, the bungle should always be worn ‘because it defines who we are,’ she had said.
This had left Magret wondering who she really was and why her mother was talking in such hidden riddles. She had spent all her mourning days wondering who she really was, and why her father wasn't there to explain it all to her. They were really difficult times and she needed someone to at least make things clear if not comfort her. Those were the days she remembered that just before she was able to talk, her mother used to call her a name. She did not recall the name so well but she could remember that all of a sudden the name changed to Magret. She tried to crack that nut but she just couldn't.
The best of her days only came when she met Grey. Grey seemed to be the answer to her loneliness as well as forgetting what her mother used to say about who she was and all. Those were childhood stories and they are told to every kid- Grey had assured her. Since then, every time she saw Grey, she felt completely at peace, until just yesterday when they had married and after the ceremony, they had come down to the beach. She had been sensing something bad about the whole honeymoon vacation. She had told Grey as they sat shoulder to shoulder staring at the sea. Grey, as usual, had reassured her. He had said that these were normal feelings on wedding nights of many couples. He had said that it was the anxiety of starting the wifely responsibilities. They had laughed and Magret had felt a little relaxed.
However that night, she had longed for something she did not know. She had gotten out of bed and gone out again to watch the sea. She had tried to comprehend what she really wanted and why she wanted it. It had been impossible. She had remembered her mother and had wished that she would be alive. She had never missed her mother that much since she met her lover. Grey had then come where she was and holding her; he had assured her that she wanted him; only that she wasn't familiar with that feeling. She had gone back to sleep.
Now today, what she had feared had come to pass. But what is it that she wanted so bad. Why did she want it that bad last night? And why was she feeling so comfortable here, while a lot of bad thing had taken place in her life. Why did memories of her mother come with so much weight in her head? She got no answer for all these mysterious questions. She was only twenty six, what did her future hold? She had lost her husband and now here she was dreaming about her grandchildren. Grandchildren who would look after a home she did not have. She called out to her mother. At least her mother might hear her and make things clear; even if it meant giving her a little sign. Maybe all she needed was a way that would guide her to the truth of what was really her destiny. And mother had said that she would be one of the prominent politicians. How was that going to happen; bearing in mind the situation she was in right now? Her mother’s face came like a flash and shouted to her:
“THIS IS YOUR DESTINY.”
She woke up and what she saw made her feel like she would go back to sleep, eternally this time.
