Introduction. The recipe for insanity
The situation at hand was now my life. My everyday routine that I used to live was forgotten and replaced with senseless acts, a lot of confusion, and stupid nonsense. Even looking back at it now I don't think that if I had to do it all over again that I would have done anything different. it angers me and still does to have to say that I was only doing what I knew how to in order to keep me and my family safe and out of harm's way. but, harm from who? How is it that I still do not know? I have no choice but to accept what I think to be true based on the bogus information that's played out to me. So, like a sitting duck I wait to be captured and I take this torture all day, every day. It makes me sad and sick to my stomach and I have lost all hope. every day when I become weak and I struggle as I fight for my survival I come back 10 times stronger. But deep down inside I know that eventually my final ending to this will be my own desk. Because... That is how this works. and if I try to tell myself I need different then I'd only be fooling myself. Which oddly enough, is what I've been doing... This whole... Entire... Time.
