Prologue - Breathless
2019
“We're getting you some help, hang on,” his unfamiliar eyes, immersed with concern as he held me inside his arms; Strangers surrounded me, one other being too close for comfort. I attempted to sit up but it only made my head spin even more than it did when I had initially collapsed.
A bitter taste formed in my mouth, as mould grows on a damp wall. Each time I forced the sensation out, it only worsened until it felt like a ball of hair had decided to take up residence on my tongue.
“The ambulance should be on their way soon, Ella.” I began to panic at the mention of that name because I was sure that it wasn't my name at all. The truth about my identity began to unravel in my head, I tried keeping myself alive for long enough to remember. Then my mother appeared in one of those faces and for the first time, she didn’t look cruel and uncaring at all. She smiled sweetly and her eyes were filled to the brim with water. I could see her lips move in what looked like an apology whilst her arms opened up, awaiting my embrace, “I’m sorry,” my mother’s grasp, warm and soft this time like a mother should be. I was sure that this meant I was finally going to where I wanted to be.
The muffled voices had been replaced with a blissful silence, I took one last glance at the crowd that hovered above me. My breaths were much shorter now. I begged them to give up on me, but, my voice came out in a series of murmurs.
Then it hit me... My mother didn't have the capacity to love anyone but herself. This was another way for her to destroy my life with her manipulative games. It was then I knew that I needed to do everything I could to stay alive. I wasn't going to let her win, this time.
