Chasing Humanity

Tapping of my keyboard was grating on my own nerves. The music on my laptop wasn't helping either. I sighed heavily and let my head fall back onto the headrest of my chair. My window was open to my right, allowing for a small and slightly cool breeze to flow through the room. The sun had set about an hour ago and I had been in the same position for five hours. Studying and paper writing, the life of a college student. I reached for my large water bottle beside my chair and pulled up. Expecting it to have a bit of weight to it, I pulled to hard and nearly scared myself. It was empty instead of halfway full, like I remembered.

I sighed, glancing around the room to find my only sources of light were the fairy lights above my bed and the white light of my laptop screen. As I turned I felt my back give way to a pop. I figured moving around wouldn’t be a bad idea and so stood up to stretch leisurely and twist my torso, multiple pops greeting my ears. I grabbed my water bottle and left my room in favor of filling the bottle in the kitchen. As I turned on the light, I took a quick glance around. My shoes were still where I left them when I kicked them off and my chunky sweater was still strewn across the secondhand bench that was next to the front door.

As I filled up my water I thought about going for a quick walk to stretch my legs after sitting for five hours. After my bottle was filled with tap water, admittedly not the best, I spotted my shoes again. Before my sedentary mindset could creep up, I had my sweater and shoes on and I was walking out the door with my keys, phone and wallet.

SeaSeoul didn’t really have a bedtime. There were always people going somewhere. Luckily, I lived in a quieter neighborhood. During the day it was bustling, but the businesses around were rarely open late on the weekdays. A few cars passed as I walked and a few couples could be seen making their way to the park nearby. It was a large park that had beautiful light shows in the pond at night, and it happened to be where I was headed.

As I got to the water in the middle, the water show came to an end and a new one started up. Soothing music accompanied the streams of water as they spouted about and I smiled at their dance. It reminded me of the group of dance students that I had met the other day during orientation. They broke out into some kind of routine. A flash mob in the middle of the quad. Among the excitement I felt in thinking of the things I could be a part of while doing what I love, there was dread. Mountains of debt would wait at the end of graduation and there was no guarantee of getting a job straight out of school.

My major wasn’t really practical, as my dad had said when I told him what I was going for. Though I was passionate about what I wanted to do, he didn’t approve. I had no idea about the debt I would face. The pitfalls of adulthood were all new to me. He let me find out the hard way. I had to pay for everything myself after having no knowledge of anything.

I made my way back towards my apartment and as I passed the coffee shop below my studio apartment to get to the outer staircase, my mind drifted to my shift tomorrow morning. I’d have to leave thirty minutes after I got there to make it to class on time. My first class of the day was an Art History lecture. The second was a generals class, some kind of math. Incredibly boring, but needed, I guessed. All of this meant that I needed to go to sleep soon so that I wouldn’t be a member of the walking dead tomorrow morning.

Upon entering my apartment, I slipped off my shoes and hung up my sweater, this time, before heading to the bathroom to complete my night routine. I pulled out my phone to check my bank account while I brushed my teeth as the last part of the routine. Nothing in savings, I knew that much, just enough in my checking to make a payment on my classes. I almost never have enough.

As I slipped into bed, after shutting down my computer, a growing sense of panic settled into my stomach. I was technically dirt poor, I was lucky that I had basic food stuffs in my refrigerator let alone things to sit on. Most of the furniture fixtures came with the apartment. It took me forever to save up and get a new mattress. And as I snuggled deeper into clean bedding, I sent a silent thank you upwards for the things I did have.

I woke up to my alarm clock. The incessant beeping making me turn over and reach across my night stand to slap my phone screen. I huffed, turning over onto my back and rubbing my eyes. Six o’clock. I had to get ready for work and shove everything I’d need for the day into my backpack.

I got up and grabbed an apple off of my counter to cut up into slices and pulled out the last of the jar of peanut butter. I ate while looking out at the street below my window. Life was slowly starting to pick up. I showered quickly and blow dried my hair before putting on some mascara and lip stuff. I went to my closet and chose some distressed blue jeans, converse sneakers, a shirt that had ‘coffee queen’ printed onto the front and a green army jacket that matched the canvas on my backpack.

As I left my apartment, phone in hand, backpack slung onto my shoulder, I winced in irritation. The crazy lady that lived across from me was walking up the hallway, fuzzy bathrobe on and stained coffee mug in hand, complete with feather slippers. I tried to think of anything I may have forgotten as an excuse to go back into my apartment, but I couldn’t even think of any sort of convincing act to just hide until she was out of the hallway.

“Hey!” Shit. “Your fucking cat shit in my planters on the balcony again!”

I was definitely going to be late.

True to thought, I was ten minutes late for work because I had to leave my apartment so soon to when she went to check her mail in the morning. Every time I saw her she always gave me a tongue lashing for my cat not knowing whether or not to poop in it’s own litter box. It was complete bullshit, anyhow. I didn’t even have a cat. I was mildly allergic.

I walked briskly out of the apartment hallway and down to the alleyway. I got around to the front of the shop relatively quickly, just in time to bump into one of our regulars.

“Oh hey, Yoongi.” I smiled as he locked his expensive looking car. He grinned as he took off his sunglasses. Dark eyes squinting in morning sunlight.

Yoongi was about five inches taller than I was, thick chest that made his shirt buttons work harder than he did and arms muscular enough to be defined through his blazer. His hair was a blue tinted silver, almost shaped in a bowl cut and I have never seen someone rock such a terrible hair cut. Somehow he made it work. Maybe it was the undercut at the bottom of his hairline. Yoongi was always dressed sharply, not a wrinkle in his clothes. Always had his laptop with him when he came to sit down with his coffee. Always very polite. Always drop dead freaking gorgeous.

Essentially the resident rich dreamboat this side of SeaSeoul.

“Barista girl!” He always called me that, never actually used my real name even though I had a name tag. “Late again, you better get in there.”

“Not my fault, the crazy lady was griping at me again.” I rolled my eyes as he got to the door before me.

“The cat thing?” He sniggered as I walked past him.

“I don’t even have a speck of cat hair on me, do I just look that lonely?” I complained as I shrugged off my jacket and hung both it and my backpack in the employee closet. I shoved my phone into my back pocket.

“Nah,” Yoongi waved off my question, then shrugged. “Only a little.” I couldn’t even find it in me to gasp, I just laughed before walking into the kitchen, grabbing my apron, and washing my hands.

“The usual?” I asked as I clocked in on the computer.

“Yeah, make it a large this time, though.” He sighed. I smiled as I typed in his order.

“Long day lined up?” I asked as I pulled out a cup and put the correct syrups in it before filling it with dark roast, no cream.

“Meetings out the ass and a bunch of artists jumping at my heels.” He ran a hand down his face. I gave him a sad smile as I put a lid on the cup.

“One Lonely Girl special.” I smiled and he returned it before he pulled out his usual fifty dollar bill, handing it over. I sighed as I pulled out the correct change from the till. “Don’t work too hard... You know it just occurred to me that I have no idea what you do for a living.” Yoongi hummed as I counted back his change.

“Maybe I’ll tell you one of these days when we both have some time off.” He winked a beautiful chocolate eye and then dropped all of the change and cash I had just handed him into the tip jar. I frowned at the jar and then watched him walk out with a small wave behind him, coffee in hand. Another thing about Yoongi was that he was always generous in tips. No matter how small the order was, he pretty much always left a large tip. I was sure, for a while, that he never carried a twenty, just fifties.

I walked into the kitchen and found Kim wiping down the sandwich maker, presumably after making one for the early risers. His head of auburn hair was hard to mistake.

Kim was always here to open the shop in the morning. Chang, the owner, usually came in at about five in the morning to open and Kim always showed up between then and when I came in to start opening the shop. I guess that Chang trusted him enough to leave that up to him. Chang never gave me the keys to open, even though I was hired to be the primary employee. Maybe it was a guy thing.

Kim was around the same height as Yoongi, a bit of a different build, but still relatively built, to say the least. His hair was a reddish brown and parted down the middle. His blue eyes pierced everything he looked at. The man was pretty. A white button up shirt was rolled up to his elbows and the collar was folded over the strap of his apron. I smiled at the flower doodle on his name tag.

“Hey,” I sighed as I walked over to make sure the vegetables were in order. “Sorry that I’m late. That crazy lady that lives across from me was-“

“Areum, what are you doing here?” He said suddenly turning to me. I looked up confused, but with a sense of dread.

“What do you mean?”

“Your lecture, it starts in like-“ he cut off to check his watch. “- seven minutes.” I gasped. Wednesday.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” The word kept coming out of my mouth as I tore off my apron. I chucked it at Kim as I ran to the employee closet and grabbed my jacket and backpack. I didn’t even bother to put my jacket on as I took off out of the shop. I sprinted as fast as I could. Cars passed by and I hardly noticed the revving engine pulling up beside me.

“Barista Girl!” I almost tripped as I stopped running to look at the street. Yoongi’s arm stuck out of his completely open window and he had moved his sunglasses up on top of his head. “Where’s the fire?”

“I forgot about my class being moved up an hour. I’m so freaking late.”

“At the university?” He asked and I nodded.

“Sorry, I can’t chat.” I said running off again.

“Barist- Areum! Wait! Let me give you a ride!” He called out as his car drove up again. I stopped and turned.

“You’re serious?”

“You can’t sprint there and make it in less than ten minutes, Areum, let me give you a ride.”

My chest moved rapidly with my breaths. I didn’t really have much time to make a decision. I blamed my momentary lapse of judgment on his gorgeous pout, as I made my way quickly to the passenger side of his car. The lapse of judgment being that I hardly knew the guy. He’d been coming into the coffee shop for a couple of months, at least two thirds of the time that I had been working there, but I still hardly knew anything outside of his name and that he talked to Chang a lot.

“Which side of the university do I need to drop you on in order for you to get to the class quicker?” Yoongi asked as I buckled my seat belt. He drove off and I took a breather.

“The entrance closest to campus student housing. The lecture hall is closest to there.” I situated my jacket on my lap, still catching my breath.

“Not much of a sprinter?” He commented as my phone buzzed. I looked down at it as I laughed softly.

“Not really, no.”

From Sunnie: I don’t know where you are, but he just counted you as absent. You never miss a class, dude.

To Sunnie: I’m almost there! Tell him I’ll be there!

I waited in panic, my leg bobbing.

“Deep breaths. I’m sure it’s fine.” Yoongi said, eyes still on the road as he pulled up to the right entrance. I quickly unbuckled my belt and opened the door, not even waiting for him to come to a complete stop.

“Thanks, Yoongi!” I said before leaping out with my bag and shutting the door before sprinting towards the doors. My phone buzzed and I looked down, already on the verge of tears.

From Sunnie: I tried, babe. This guy is a dick. I’m sorry.

I locked my phone and slowed my steps. I was maybe ten steps from the doors, but I stopped. The class was graded on attendance. If you were even tardy, the professor would fail you. I didn’t know why I had chosen that class, but I was loathing everything in that moment. I felt my grip tighten on my phone and my chest started to heave. I had tears in my eyes and it made my eyelids wet, but none of them fell. In a burst of anger, I tore my backpack off and swung it at the brick siding.

“Goddamnit!” I growled. I was so screwed.