Chapter 1
My thoughts
What if, a word that always stays.
The only thing I have to worry about is what if i’m not accepted or she thinks i’m not ready to know or if she thinks i’m being to paranoid because what if this is all those things. I am worried about telling my mom that i’m bi.
I don’t know, another word that stays.
I don’t know what everyone will think or how they will react. I don’t know if I will be accepted or if they will care. I don’t know if this is something that will change my life forever.
I do know, not a word that usually stays but can sometimes make its way to me.
I do know that this is who I am and that I won’t change.I do know that I am practically in love with a girl in a grade younger that me who says i’m her best friend. And, I do know that this could change my perspective on things once I come out to the world.
Me
I am Amelia lee North I’m 13 years old, hate P.E, live in Republic.Mo, can’t stand my thoughts, but love to be alone, and I am bisexual. If I am spaced out it means i’m lost in my thoughts. I think and that’s what stops or hurts me. Also, I don’t know why but lying is my greatest strength. I have to be me but it’s hard when being the person you truly are could mess up everything you strive for. I wish for at least twenty-four hours I could be alone with my thoughts and try to figure them out. It’s hard not being able to control what you think about. I can’t stand the fact that I can’t control my thoughts. I just have them and then they are there in my head not at all ready to leave. I can’t be me because of my thoughts I just overthink and believe that things will change for the worse. And that’s what I believe now that it will be bad after I tell everyone who I really am. But, I have an amazing best friend one of the only people who know my secret. She says she doesn’t think of me as a different person I’m just more open now with who I really am. Her name is Summer and she also pushes me to be who I am and to believe in myself which is one of the many reasons why I love her. I also have serenity who doesn’t care at all but isn’t as supportive as Summer she is more of a friend than a best friend. Most of the kids I go to school with know im bi but don’t really mind it and I haven’t ever had someone make fun of me for it as far as I know. My mom isn’t who i’m actually worried about with my secret its my dad and his family their to christian and don’t accept the lgbtq+ community. I wish it was easier to tell people especially the ones that are most important to me.
