the way.....

After all this years nothing has changed.

But without him...

Maybe I dunno what to say,

it has been a year but I have this feeling nothing is similar without him.

I know that I can’t even say the name (particularly his )without breaking down in front every one.But that won’t be a problem because I’m not a social being who can hangout with out everyone.

Yes I know I sound like a nerd but honestly I’m not I’m the one with a committed relationship when it comes to my books. (sarcasm!!!)

I have been hangout with my weirdo besties like what seems like a long time and I don’t wanna break my relationship with them any time soon.

They know me like a open book. Everything is open out for them.only them.

I know I can trust them with all my life even in the hardest times they stood by my side.Most importantly when my family is not even there to support or even care about there blood related one.Okay I’m not gonna go there because I know that its hard for them but isn’t it times like this what family is for!!???

But guess what happened??

They left their 16 year old to fend herself and fight against her own demons.I know there is help to clean up my mess but they doesn’t make my family. They are not what I wanted at times like that..

All I wanted was the warm hugs filled with love and piece of advice from the one who are the reason to my whole existence.

But it seems to be impossible task right now!!

Like every day I woke up sweat drenching from my forehead and the baddest nightmare..

Guess who??

None other than him..

Because I haven’t been using my pills as they were becoming addictive. But I think it’s not a good idea.

Anyways I wake up from my bed a make my daily routine and end up in the hallway only to see max (my cuttest dog) waggling his tail to take him for walk.

Seems like I have no option left over. Like even I would ask for one.

So I make my way towards the nearby park....