Anne never looked at her like that

I hunkered down lower in my cloak, the cold sea breeze cooling my skin. I walked the final steps to the railing and stared out into the churning sea. A small sigh came from my mouth as I allowed the strong wind to blow my hair, ripping the style to shreds. I stared out into the sea and allowed my thoughts to consume me.

“Angelica. Angelica. ANGELICA!!¨ I was jolted out of my thoughts by a girl with fire for hair screaming at me.

“Well hello to you too, Anne.”

“Jeez what were you thinking about? I was screaming your name for nearly 10 minutes!”

My face heats up as she stares at me with a look of annoyance on her face. I look down at her dress with a critical eye, noticing a billion wrinkles on it. How she always managed to look pretty, even though her dresses are the definition of a disaster, will forever be a mystery to me.

“Ugh stop,” she whines as she throws her arms down and pouts to me.

“Stop what?”

“Stop JUDGING me!” she screamed, drawing eyes towards us well, her face heated up in anger. Sometimes, I forgot Anne’s temper was one that rivaled most storms.

“I am not,” I huffed rolling my eyes.

“You are so. You have a look on your face. A look of judgement.” I raise one eyebrow at her. “THAT’S IT!” she screamed, “the look.”

I sighed. How I managed to put up with this girl was beyond me.

“Wanna go for a walk? I’m getting cold simply standing here,” I said, knowing that she would be easier to talk to if her endless amounts of energy was directed to walking and not decoding my look of “judgment.”

“As long as we walk down to the harbor!” she shot me a smile and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Why does she have to be so pretty? I sighed and began walking to hide the blush covering my face. She began going into a dramatic reactmic of her day which honestly wasn’t that interesting, except the way she told made me laugh at every word she said. My dress swished in the wind as I looked at the people we were passing. I probably would have been hit by hundreds of catcalls by now but since I was with Anne boys had to settle for just eyeing me up. Anne had a rep in the town for beating up cat-callers.

“Oh my god you have to meet John!” she suddenly squealed in the middle of a

particularly long story about her getting apples.

“Who?”

“John. He’s this sailor and he’s like super cool and he’s going to the Caribbean and I think i’m in love.” My heart sinks, and I don’t know why. Anne should fall in love with someone.

A flare of jealousy bubbles up to the surface, and I frown at her, “Anne,” I say sharply, “you are to marry another man. John is a sailor which means he is poor, which means that your father would never allow you to court him.”

She whips back around to glare at me, “You think I don’t know that?” she hisses, her anger causing her face to heat up. “I am sick of just doing what my father tells me to do! If I like him, I should be able to court him.” I frowned at her. Why was she so willing to court a man she barely knew, when she would not even share a second glance for her best friend? What was she playing at? She knew she couldn’t court this man. How could she not get it, we don’t get to choose these things.

I glare at her, “Well dang, Anne what do you want me to do change society for you? Stop complaining, there’s nothing you can do.” My jealousy fueled me from being annoyed to a full on rage.

“Jeez what is your problem? Have some sympathy!” Her eyes meet mine in a glare that could turn men into stone.

“How long have you known this guy, a month? How could you possibly know that you’re in love with someone if you haven’t even known them for that long?” Why is he the one you love when I’ve been your best friend for years, I want to add but decided against it, not being able to make sense of what I was thinking. We were both women. How could I harbor romantic feelings for Anne?

“Ok,” Anne had begun her march towards the harbor again glaring at anyone who dared to get in her way. “One, you’re my best friend. You should be supporting me.” I sputter a protest, but she continues on, “Two my father is not God. He does not decide who I love. And three I have already been courting John for a month and I am sure that I love him.”

My jaw drops open, “YOU’VE BEEN WHAT!?”

“Courting him,” she responds with indifference tipping her nose in the air.

“Anne you are betrothed to someone else” I hiss, grabbing her by the wrist and making an attempt to pull her away from the harbor. “If your father knew-”

“-I don’t care about my father or my stupid future husband, they don’t control me!” she nearly screams, ripping her wrist away from my grasp with relative ease and marching over to the docks her hands clenched in fists.

“Anne! Anne wait! ANNE!” I scream after her, anger at myself filling me. I let my jealousy get in the way snapping at her when I knew that she would most definitely bite back with more teeth. I search the crowd going from ship to ship. The cold sea breeze brings goosebumps to my skin as I race around the harbor searching for a girl with bright red hair. My mind races as I grow more and more frantic. What if she got hurt? She is always starting fights. What if she got kidnapped? It certainly wasn’t uncommon around here. I see a flash of red hair through the crowd and take off running towards it. My eyes widen as I watch Anne began to hug a tall muscular man with blond hair and brown eyes. My heart sinks to the depths of the ocean as I watch a smile on her face appear. Her eyes are filled with so much love and affection. She looks at him the way I look at her. A look that she never gives me. I force a smug smirk on my face and try to take away any tension from my body. I walk to towards them with purpose and make eye contact with Anne, then turn my gaze to John and my eyes narrow.

“So you’re John Bonny, huh?” I force a playful yet firm tone of voice, “Thought you’d be taller.”

“Oh my God Angelica stop.” Anne moaned burying her face in her hands

“So you’re Angelica Akilli, the genus girl who knows 8 languages,” John replies holding my gaze which I meet without hesitation.

“Si,” I reply giving an amused smirk.

“Ugh could you two stop, this tension is so thick I don’t even think a knife could cut it.” Anne cuts in dramatically rolling her eyes as she steps in between us.

John laughs loudly and shakes his head gently. He puts his hand out for me to shake and gives me an easy going small smile, “John Bonny. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Angelica Akilli, now listen up both of you,” I said changing the mood and giving my

best mom voice, “ You two courting each other is a very stupid idea.” Anne’s face fell “But…” I said giving her a look, “if you want to it’s none of my business.” Anne broke out into a huge smile and tackled me into a bear hug, lifting me clean off my feet and swinging me in the air. I screamed loudly and she laughed and put me down.

She then looked at John and smiled and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I should be happy for her. Happy for my best friend. But all i felt was a deep grief of losing something that was never mine. I watch as she whispers into Johns ear, but then I notice something. The love she has in her eyes, it’s not for John or for me, its for the sea. The wistful look she gets on her face when she looks at Johns ship or the crashing waves tells everything. I look back at John, a wave of pity and understanding hits me knowing that he will love her in a way she’ll never love him. “I’ll

leave you to it” I say, walking away glancing back one more time to see Anne gazing at the ship while john stares at her. I let sadness consume me knowing that Anne will never love me the way she loves the sea.