Jennifer Grey, Tina Lorey, Jessica Mutton, Freya Kimberson, Alexa Peasgood, Mike Jackson, Thomas Faye, Koleen Smith, are just a small amount I have written about and interviewed throughout my career.
Most of the time I was given cases involving children between the ages of 8 - 18, I’m not sure why that’s just how it was.
I never wrote about anything that I didn’t believe was true, only things I had heard from that person themselves. Other wise, where was the real story...I had to have the real story.
When researching cases or interviewing victims or families, it hits you different. You hear the pain in the voices, you relive them horrifying moments, or even sit there and try to picture them horrifying last seconds.
July 15th.
I walked through the main entrance of the office, Karol was sitting on reception, always looking like she’d just eaten a sour lemon.
“Morning Karol, hows Pepper?” Pepper being her new cocker spaniel.
“Same old, and hows” she paused for a second to think of a name to fill the silence. “Erm, you know what’s his face?” She squinted trying to make out she was thinking hard.
“Darren? I broke up with him like 7 months ago, I thought everyone knew”. I laughed it off, the breakup was still fresh in my mind.
Darren and me had been together for 3 years, coming up to 4; a month before I broke it off. It wasn’t anything big or horrid as to why we ended but just simply because I didn’t feel the same. I think when I told people that they thought I was lying because there had to be some reason, cheating, abuse, hatred, but no.
After my usual awkward conversation with Karol, I make my way to the coffe station. It’s protocol.
“Morning Sophie” I heard come from behind the fridge door. A bald head poked out from behind it, with a wide smile and stubbled beard. It was Wayne, my boss.
He was a creep, I know how coincidental that a bald boss would turn out to be a weird leech type man, but it’s true, it really happens.
I put a forced smile on my face, “Good morning Wayne, hows the kids?” I asked hesitantly.
He put his hands on his hips and pushed his chest out making a moaning sound. “Yeah, nice, you know just kids whatever they do, you know”.
No I really didn’t know, I’d never had kids so no Wayne I don’t have a clue what you are saying.
“Ah bless, well have a nice day” I went to hurry off to my desk but I felt a firm grip around my left arm.
I turned around to see Wayne looking at me with piecing eyes, “Did you get that interview?” He still had hold of me. “You know, with Tammy?” He honestly looked like he had just snorted 10 lines of coke, he was on edge, his eyes focused and piercing me.
I pulled my arm back, and rested my hand on top of my coffe mug. “I’ve been chasing it, but you’ve got to remember she’s only just come home the poor thing, she needs time to adjust”.
“Time to adjust?” He started to pace up and down the room. “She’s been missing for 6 years Soph, we haven’t got time to be waiting to be the last ones for the scoop. I want to be the first with her face on our paper”.
He was always like this, no regard for the victims or the families, just greed, I wanted to get to know them, gain their trust, and really understand what they are; or did go through. That’s why I felt different to the other reporters. I felt genuine.
“Wayne I’m sorry but it’s not even been 24 hours, I doubt she’s ready to speak out to anyone but the police. Just let her be, please” I smiled and went to turn my back.
“Don’t forget about that pay rise you’ve been nagging me about. Just remember yeah?” He nodded at me with a sarcastic smile.
I hated him. Rude. Bald. Old. Horrid man.
I walked through the sea of desks, voices bouncing off all the walls, key boards typing with speed, phones ringing constantly it sounded almost like a song, and as I always do I walk through nodding to everyone until I reach my desk. 5th row and first desk on the right, it was small but cosy and I never had anyone sit next to me.
Whenever someone did they’d always be gone within 2 days, they couldn’t handle it. Funny really, they expect the gossip and inside scoop but they don’t realise they’re the ones who have to find it out, too much work.
“And this is Sophie Cook. Sophie meet Carolina, Carolina, Sophie.” I stood up from my desk reaching out my hand to hers.
She was so young and pretty, long blonde hair to her waist and bright green and grey eyes, magical really. She was so petite her feet ever so small, it shocked me how she could balance on them.
“Sophie, Carolina is our new intern and I’d like you to take her around with you show her the ropes? She’s gunna sit next to you”. Wayne said with a greasy smile on his face.
I knew he’d done this to piss me off, he’d asked at the staff meeting who’d like to take her on. Now, not to be mean but summer time brings a lot of crime rates up and that means more stories to report on, so not many people want a teenage intern clipped to their waist whilst tryna chase down sources.
Now I remember in this meeting very clearly that only 2 people volunteered, and I can guarantee not one of them was me.
“Ah Carolina, I’ve heard a lot about you, your from Yorkshire right?” I lied I’d not even know one thing really.
She clung on hard to her pink and white note pads.
“Yes, I moved down here for a better journalism role, or something like that, I guess”
I laughed, “You guess? You can’t guess in this game young lady, I tell you I learnt that from a very young ages probably younger than you. How old are you?” I leant towards her.
Now, you might think I’m being harsh but I’m not, if you are weak you won’t survive.
Wayne puckered his lips together as he took a deep and awkward breath in.
“Well I can see you two will get on like a house on fire ain’t that right guys?” He said looking at us both with a fake smile.
Just piss of Wayne I wanted to say, but ofcourse he was my boss. I so wanted to tell him to piss off.
Maybe one day when I leave and get my big shot in the Independant, one day.
Carolina remains bolted down on the spot where she stood. Still clinging onto her note pad, she gazed around at the office as I plunked my ass back into my chair.
I took a sip of my coffee and notice she was still standing there like a rabbit in headlights.
“Love what are you doing?” I laughed. “Cmon sit down then, honest I don’t bite”.
She smiled awkwardly, I got the sense that most people had to give an awkward smile around me just because they didn’t get my sarcasm.
She sat down next to me, so slowly, it was mind numbing.
“So Carolina” I went on to say, but she stopped me.
“I don’t actually go by that name, I hate it.” She said facing the floor.
“How come? Well what you wanna be called then, I would call you prick but that’s already taken by Wayne” she laughed loud. I knew I had her trust then.
“Well actually I was in the media a few years back and I had my name changed because I was sick of people finding me, but everyone keeps calling me Carolina, I told that man I didn’t want to be introduced as that but he said ‘they’ll love it if they really knew’ and he done it anyway”.
As she was talking I studied her face, as a journalist you do this a lot without realising. You study people, you learn their ticks, you learn how they say certain things or even how they sit.
As I studied her something clicked.
Around 8 years prior to this meeting a younger girl by the name of Carolina Crook was abducted outside her house whilst she was playing in her front garden. She was only missing for 2 days but when a 10 year old goes missing it never really ends well.
I never run this report, my colleague at the time Thomas did, he use to sit next to me but he felt it was too hard to report on these cases when he had kids of his own. So he moved departments.
When I realised who she was I didn’t question her.
“Cool. So what you wanna go by now then?” I asked as casually as I could making out that I hadn’t clocked her.
“Cristina Crook, I wanted to keep the C as my mum was devastated I even wanted to change my name, but with people googling me and asking where I lived etc I just wanted a fresh start.”
I nodded my head at her. I didn’t comment because I knew exactly what she had been through in them 2 days, and to think she even considered keeping her last name shocked me. Why change your name but leave the last?
“Well, I’m glad you’ve decided to come work with me, or with the company, whatever. It should be fun.”
As the day passed we did very little, I didn’t want her to jump straight in as I wasn’t sure she even knew I reported on missing kids just like her.
I often stay late at work, I have nothing else to do, but sometimes them hours alone make you think.
Carolina, now known as Cristina, was only 10 years old when she was taken by her uncle in her front garden. She knew him, she trusted him.
But, he was evil. He took her saying that her mum knew and he was taking her for an ice cream, ofcourse any ten year old would go. It’s their uncle god damn it.
After that he didn’t take her for an ice cream. Instead he tortured and abused a little girl who trusted him and loved him. He took her to a remote location in his van, he drugged her, locked her in a crate at a builders site where he was working at the time. He left no food, no water. After being there for a few hours she woke. She had only her vest and knickers on. For the next 48 hours her uncle, Peter Crooks, returned a number of 17 times to repeatedly torture and abuse young Carolina. Her innocents gone.
Once he had what he wanted he simply killed himself. He left Carolina to die in that crate.
Luckily the following Monday workers arrived to see that Peter had hung himself outside a crate, they were shocked ofcourse. Not as shocked when they heard Carolina’s screams from within.
I sat there that night thinking about her. Thinking how strong she was to want to carry on. How does she do it.
However, one thing struck me as very odd about this whole thing. Wayne knew exactly who she was, I mean how could he not, he used her real name even when she asked him not to.
It felt odd that a man who boasts about wanting the best news on the block wouldn’t batter an eye lid at one of the missing kids coming to work at his place.
Maybe it’s just me over thinking.
July 26th
The weeks after we’re like every other, talking, writing, typing and repeat.
Talking.
Writing.
Typing.
However this week was different, somehow it was different. I just walked into my office this week with a gut renching feeling. Like something bad was on its way.
Even though I knew the real identity of Cristina I never wanted to break our trust. I wanted her to trust me. I knew when she was found a few reporters made up lies just to make their stories more juicy, I never wanted her to think I was one of those.
I guess the uneasy feeling I had was due to my knowledge.
“Coffee?” Cristina asked.
“Yes you should know by now this is my normal ritual Cris”. I laughed as I handed her my stained coffee mug.
I’m not sure why I called her Cris it just came out a few days after she joined and it stuck, now everyone in the office referred to her as Cris.
She liked it.
Anything was better than Carolina.
As Cris went off to make the morning round, Josh walked in from his 2 weeks holiday to Ibiza.
I never really understood why Josh loved it there so much, he was in his late 40s going to a club island filled to the brim with teenagers and young adults. What possibly did he have there that interested him that much?
The reporter in me wanted to know, I can’t help it.
“Josh, looking, brown” That was sarcasm, he always failed to get the slightest tan, even sun burn. “How was the trip then?”
He pulled off his Parker jacket, weird considering it was the middle of summer, and placed it on the back of his chair. I watch his movements as he did so.
“You cold or summit? Parker in mid July your mad ain’t ya?” He laughed as he stuttered to explain.
“I caught a cold in Ibiza, I’m not sure what or how but I’ve got it mate, maybe it’s holiday blues but for real” he slumped his slim figure down into his chair.
He looked up at me as he sighed and pushed his long hair out of his face.
I’ll give it to Josh he didn’t look like he was in his late 40s, I’d say more late 20s early 30s, his blonde beach hair definitely helped with the younger ladies too. I think if I recall I may have been the only one in the office not to have shagged the man.
He just didn’t appeal to me.
“So what you do out there exactly?” I said as I rested my elbow on his work station.
He had to think for a second, maybe it was all the booze hitting him at once, or the drugs.
“Me? Ah just go get pissed, go sunbathe and walks” he said with a shaky voice, I could tell it was from his cold.
“You need Facebook or Instagram, never see any photos or vids, would be a laugh to watch them. Do you not just take some anyway so we can see? I’ve never been to..”
he cut me off.
“Sophie, with all due respect it’s Wednesday morning and I really don’t feel like discussing my holiday right now. I feel like shit.” He turned away from me with no answers to my questions.
Rude.
However I let him be, I know I hated it when people questioned me, but I couldn’t figure out how you can go on holiday for 2 weeks and take no photos. Or is that just me?
I walked back to my desk which was across the way from Josh, I kept looking over at him, all sweaty and weird.
He looked like he had just taken something, a drug? An overdose? Was he poisoned by something?
My concern got the better of me and I wondered back over.
“Josh love you need to go home.”
He lifted his head from his hands and looked at me with tears in his eyes. “I think I should”.
He picked up his jacket and walked from my view, he just walked right out.
“What the fucks going on now Soph, huh what have you said now? Can’t you just leave people alone for once Jesus fucking Christ man”. Wayne shouted from his office, allowing everyone to hear.
“He was clearly unwell you nasty prick” I quickly covered my mouth with both hands but the words fell out of my mouth like hot lava. “I’m so sorry Wayne, I didn’t..”
“Carolina can sit with me for the rest of the week and you can piss off home, your suspended”.
Suspended! For calling him a prick when he just humiliated me in front of the whole office?
Fine by me. Full pay too. Lovely jubbly.
Just before I left though I couldn’t help say one last thing, something that was angering me ever since the first day of this story.
“Oh one more thing Wayne, it’s Cristina not fucking Carolina you ignorant little bastard”.
I walked off before I could hear his reaction, but I turned to Cris who was smiling heavily at me. I winked at her and pressed the lift to go down.
As I reached the lobby I noticed a man resting up against the glass window of our offices. It was a Parker, in July. Josh.
“Josh what the fuck are you doing? I said to go home. I just got suspended for you, only 3 days but still”.
His hands were rested on his knees as if he was going to puke.
“Ah, I’m so sorry mate. I just couldn’t sit in there any longer thought I was gunna be sick on you. I wish I was now, maybe stop you being suspended.” We both laughed at the thought of me covered in vile vomit. Strange.
“God sake Josh. What you doing anyway, do you need a lift home?” Josh had a camper van but he never brought it to work, he said it didn’t make him look professional so took the bus and tube instead. An idiot if you ask me.
He stood up sharply, “a lift? Ah Soph that would be amazing I’m not sure if i could make it on the tube, it’s so stuffy down there”
“Maybe you should take that fucking tent off then, no wonder you soaking wet” I went to aid him with removing his jacket but he flinched.
“No.” He said loudly. “I, I’m freezing, I just can’t deal with closed space at the moment, maybe I just need to get home now”.
I nodded in agreement. I helped him to my car and let him lay in the back seat.
To be honest I didn’t mind driving to Joshs house, it was such a peaceful drive and after the morning I had I needed it.
The roads led off into a suburb, which then lead into a long green road. I couldn’t believe Josh was crazy enough to get a bus and then the tube to work everyday, it was a lot of extra work when he had a van.
I looked around at the lovely green views, I was sick of seeing the built up areas with peoples heads in their phones 24/7. It was peaceful.
“Dick head, oi, oi ya dick” I shouted as I pushed and poked at Joshes head.
He woke up rubbing his face, “oh shit” he said with a yawn. “Did I fall asleep that whole way?”
“Yeah you did, and we are here now so c’mon”.
I helped him out of the car and up his 3 steps to his front door.
“Right get inside, have a nap and don’t be stressing you need a nap”. I said to him as I hugged him good bye.
“You’re a good friend Soph, what would i do without you?” He smiled.
As I turned my back I heard a big thud, I sharply swung my head round to see him lying there lifeless on the floor. I ran to him shaking him over and over and finally he came around.
“Jesus Josh what the fuck, we need to get you to a hospital. Maybe you caught something out there? Did you sleep with anyone?” He wasn’t responding. “That’s it we are going to the hospital”.
As I began to lift him, an arm grabbed me, it was Josh. “No. Please I jsut want my bed”.
“No way Josh we are going to the hospital this ain’t right you know?”
“Please, you know I hate shit like that, centre of attention. Just, just come sit with me till I’m asleep then, yeah?”
I looked at him and then looked at my watch. Five to ten, I guess I could stay a little while. I couldn’t live with myself if anything did happen to him.
I slowly but surely heaved him into the living room and onto his double sofa, just about fitting him on.
It was a nice house inside, I’ll give him that. I’d only ever dropped him off before, never inside.
No pictures though. None of family, friends, not even of himself. It was very minimal.
As I looked round the room at the very little objects that were around I heard a groan coming from the sofa.
He sat up rubbing his head, as if he’s just been hit with something.
“God, my head is banging”.
The next thing that crossed my lips would be something I will forever regret.
“You know what’s good for cold, flu and headaches. Warm hot and lemon water. You got any?” I said as I slowly tried to ease my tone to make him feel more comfortable.
He lead me to the kitchen, I insisted he just tell me but I guessed he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable finding things for him. He showed me where everything was and then handed me fresh lemons, he coughed all over them.
Rank.
As I boiled the kettle I looked out onto the land far back. Bloody huge. I didn’t understand how he afforded all of this but it was too rude to ask. In the far right hand corner of the field I noticed a blue, awful blue may I just add, hand painted shed. But it looked like it had just been painted, weird considering Josh had been away for 2 weeks.
At first I don’t think anything of it, but as always my reporter side wanted to question it. I walked back into the living room with a hot mug of lemon water and handed it down to him.
“You not made yourself one?” He asked as he took his first sip.
“Me? I’m not sick love, but I should be going soon anyway” I said as I turned to grab my coat. “Oh, I noticed your blue shed out back, just been painted ain’t it?”
He stopped mid sip and slowly looked up at me, his eyes made me feel uneasy, that same feeling I had earlier that morning.
“Shed?” He took another sip. “Oh yeah, I asked my brother to come down whilst I was away to look after the house and the fucker painted my shed blue, always does shit like this to take the piss”.
I laughed unknowingly.
“Soph, I know this is weird ‘cause we don’t really hang out much since Thomas leaving but I just feel really shit and some company would actually be nice at the moment, what do you say?”
I felt pity, he looked awfully ill and I’d feel bad if he was to get worse on my watch.
“Well shall I just make a cuppa and then go after that? Have a good old laugh about old times ‘ay”.
I went to the kitchen.
I made a tea.
I sat down.
I needed a pee.
“Toilet Josh?” He pointed down the hall and said to the right.
As I sat on that toilet, I had this uneasy feeling again. I couldn’t figure it out. I felt like something was wrong. I should’ve listened.
As I walked down the hall back to the living room, something in my head told me that I should go back to that blue shed, just a little look?
“Why don’t we take a walk round your massive garden Josh, might do you good, then I’ll go home?”
He didn’t respond fast but I could tell he wasn’t going to be walking anywhere any time soon.
“Let’s finish our drinks first then we can go for one?”
I didn’t see anything wrong with that, I didn’t want to leave half a cuppa anyway, I felt bad about the milk, gas and everything else. I don’t know why, he looked minted, compared to me.
We sat and chatted whilst we finished our drinks, it was now coming up to 12 and I wanted to get home to write up some information on the case Wayne had given me.
God that uneasy feeling was getting stronger.
Have I caught this thing? I thought to myself.
God I felt sick.
I stared to feel my visions go in and out. My head now feeling like it had been stuffed with cotton balls.
I tried to communicate the way I was feeling to Josh but no words would leave my mouth.
The last image I have is a dark and grainy one, It was of Josh standing up from his seat.
And then black.
