Freshman Year

Ugh! I’m about to start my freshman year of college. Frustration has kicked in. I shouldn’t be hanging out with family right now. Right now, I should be packing and getting my rundown apartment with my best friend set up, but nope my mom insisted that I stay in tonight and have dinner with them one more time. Said that I had plenty of time to unpack and get settled before classes start. I have always been one to be over prepared and organized always ready to go with everything in my life. Waiting until the last minute for things to get done is not something I enjoy doing. My best friend Ashley on the other hand, is always last-minute running around. Not sure why we are best friends. We have been inseparable since we were five years old. Glued at the hip as you wish. We always made sure we had the same classes in school, what team we were on, Cheer leading along with the dance team. Now we have our own apartment together, headed for the same college. It’s going to be one hell of a trip, and I couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone but Ashley. She is my rock, she has always been there for me.

I sit here eating my meatloaf and mashed potatoes that my mom prepared for “my last meal” Her words, like I’m on death row or something. I keep finding myself thinking and worrying that I have forgotten to pack something. “Oh, man I hope I am not forgetting anything.” Mumbling under my breath, quietly… Suddenly I am snapped back to reality. I guess not all that quiet.

“Honey you have barely touched your food, are you okay?” Mom calls over from the other side of the kitchen table, looking concerned. My mom the everyday home maker.

“Yes, mom I’m fine. Just not hungry I just want to make sure I am ready for the move tomorrow. I don’t want to forget anything or be running around with my head cut off before we load up the truck.” Saying quietly, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

“Honey you are ready, you are the most organized person I know. You are always ready don’t worry so much.” How can I not worry this is a huge step? Moving out of my parents’ house the only place I have known as home, and moving into an apartment two blocks from campus, that my parents along with Ashley’s; have agreed to pay for apartment and the expenses of living while we focus on our schooling. They agreed it was cheaper than living on campus and paying for a dorm room. As long we promised no partying, keeping our grades up, and they would pay for us to live there. Each set of parents will pay half of the bills. Myself wanted to get a job, to pay for things on my own, but my parents insisted I focus on school, that is the most important thing right now. They would take care of my half of the bills, plenty of spending cash for food, clothes and whatever else I would need and want without any worries.

“I’m sorry mom. I know you worked hard on this dinner. I just want to go upstairs, do a quick scan to make sure I’m good to go and make sure I didn’t forget anything, then head to bed and get some sleep, it’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” Taking a deep breath. My father just sits and watches us. He is a man of few words usually.

“Good night mom and dad, I love you.” I put my hands on the edge of my plate and push it away, stand up and I head upstairs to the room on the first door on the left finding myself starring at the purple walls I once called my bedroom. purple? What was I thinking, it’s such a little girl color? But I loved it. My brother helped me paint it when I was thirteen, refusing to change the color ever again. Taking one last look around the room making sure all the boxes are taped up and are marked to what room they belong in at the new place. I grab my pajamas and get dressed. I noticed that there was something sticking out from under the bed, I bend down to find it was a photo album. I haven’t see this thing in a long time, I climb into bed, and looked at the pictures that reminded me so much of my life growing up. Pictures of family trips, the beach, birthday parties, my sweet sixteen party, and even a photo of me and my brother Michael. I wipe the cold tear from my cheek as I hold the photo close to my heart, I lie down to sleep my last night in my childhood bedroom.

“Michael, why are you going out partying again? Mom is going to be so angry at you. She told you that you were grounded, because of what happened last weekend.” I watch my big brother getting ready for the big party happening a few blocks away.

“Ava, one of these days you will see that hanging out with friends, partying and having fun; is all part of being in high school, stop worrying so much would you!” He is practically giving me the annoying big brother annoyed voice. I couldn’t help but worry. Mom said he wasn’t supposed to be going out, and I was supposed to call her if he did. But he’s my big brother I’m not supposed to tattle on him.

“Mom is going to be so mad at you!” I respond worried about the trouble he will get into.

“Ava, worry about yourself. I can handle mom and her punishments, I promised Sarah I would go out, so I am going.” He snaps at me. He’s my big brother I look up to him. So, I just go back to my room without saying anything else to him.

The Front door shuts to the house, with excitement I fly down the stairs so excited Michael beat our parent’s home only to find my parents are the ones standing there. “Honey why are you still awake. It is way passed your bedtime.” Mom’s voice sounds like she knows something is going on, and that I can’t hide anything from her.

“Where is your brother?” Dad sounds angry now. I don’t think I can cover for him now, no need for the both of us to be in trouble.

“M- Mi- Michael left with Ryan, Matt and Sarah.” With my head hung down staring at my feet, I knew I should have just called my parents when he left in the first place.

“WHAT?!” My mom is louder than she was before “what do you mean he isn’t here? He was supposed to be…” The phone ringing cuts off mom’s freak out. As I watch my dad reach for the phone.

“Hello?” Dad’s voice has become quiet, like he is pretending he isn’t mad anymore.

“Yes, he is my son… What do you mean, what happened?” His face is white as ghost now.

“I don’t understand…Yes! Yes! We will be right there!” Slamming the phone back on to the phone base, and heads back toward us.

“We need to get to the hospital right now!” He screams, grabbing the keys off the table by the front door, not wasting any time.

“What are you talking about. What happened?” Mom is freaked out I can hear the fear in her voice. Just standing here in shock with no idea with what is happening I snap out of it; following my parent’s out of the house to the car in a hurry as my dad is telling my mom Michael and his friends were in a car crash and Michael is in the ICU.

Running behind my parents through the double doors of the emergency room. “Where is my son Michael Miller? He was in a car accident!” Mom’s voice is full on panic right now, I wonder if they can even understand what she is saying.

“Yes, have a seat the doctor will be right with you.” The nurse points us to the waiting area while she sends a page out to the doctor.

It felt like hours of watching my mom and dad pace in the waiting room. As the doctor approached us. “Mr. and Mrs. Miller?” The doctor calls over to us, I just watch from a distance.

“That’s us.” Dad says, I watch the doctor shake my parent’s hands and the look on his face doesn’t look like he is proud of the work he did. I can see his lips moving but I can’t make out what is being said. My mom drops to her knees, my dad tries to catch her to hold her up. In that moment; I knew our lives where going to change forever.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The alarm is blasting with such sound, it’s almost like it’s laying on my ear. I smack my hand over the button of my alarm clock sitting on my night stand. Looking out of my peaking eye to see it is in fact eight in the morning. A dream like that; why would anyone want to get out of bed, but it’s moving day! Time to get this day going. I jump up and run to the bathroom to change my clothes and get ready for the day. Deciding on my black leggings, my white off the shoulder shirt with a black tank top underneath with some sneakers, was the best way to dress to be comfortable, since we would be moving a lot of things. I toss my hair up into a messy bun and call it good. Grabbing a box from the top of the stack by the door and head down stairs. Placing the box next to the door. “Really Hun you can’t even wait until we have some coffee in our blood before dragging us out the door bright and early to do this?” Dad calls over from the kitchen just pouring his coffee into his Cowboys ceramic mug.

“Jeez, dad you scared me. Sorry just excited, it’s not that early, and to top it off it’s a five-hour drive also. We have a lot to do today, it’s a whole new world out there. I’m almost twenty and ready to go.” I walk over to my dad and grab the coffee mug I have always used, poor myself a cup of coffee. My father and I never really bonded that much, maybe that’s because I wasn’t Michael. But this morning felt different, it felt like he was feeling some emotions about his baby girl moving. I smile at the thought, then a little emotional. While, we drink our coffee, mom comes down the stairs with a tissue in hand all emotional over something.

“Mom what made you all emotional this morning?” She just gives me a little love tap on my shoulder.

“Nothing sweetie, it’s just my baby is moving out of the house. I’m not ready for the house to be so empty and quiet, you will see when you have a family of your own. Kids become your whole life.” I chuckle at the though. Getting married and having kids is the last thing on my mind. Well it was until the thought was just planted there. I wouldn’t mind having a family. But, school first, not to mention I need a man in my life.

“Mom that will be some time before that happens.” Rolling my eyes, I look over at my dad, with the biggest save me eyes I could manage at him.

“Alright dad, we have to get my bed apart and get everything loaded into the truck. Ashley and Mr. Johnson will be there before us at this rate. We have a long drive ahead of us.”

Finally, the truck is loaded, YAY! You really don’t realize how many things you have built up over the years until you have it all packed up and have too haul it all down stairs and into a truck. “Have a safe trip honey, I’ll wait up for you.” Mom says to dad and he kisses her on the cheek.

“Well it is ten now, it’s Five hours there so, it will be about three when we get there and just a couple ours to drop everything off. So, I should be home around ten maybe eleven.” She smiles at him like a teenage girl in love for the time.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get home.” She winks at him. My parents kiss one another with such greediness, its un nerving sight.

“Ugh. Gross, can you not do that in front of me!” Screaming out in an amused disgust. They both laugh at me and give another a kiss. Dad, and myself are ready to head out.

With the click of my seat belt and the turning out of the driveway onto the road I grew up on. Looking out the window; watching as the neighbor kids play on the lawns of their homes as the parent water their gardens, they wave over at me and my father as we drive by their homes; as if they are saying good bye and good luck. The memories of my childhood flash before my eyes in memories of a beautiful child hood; riding bikes, play hop scotch, and playing with chalk on the sidewalks. I have lived on this road my entire life, it has been all I have ever known. “You scared?” Dad says over to me breaking me from my deep thoughts, as I look out the window. Wiping the cold tear falling down my cheek at the thought of no longer being around here.

“A little.” My voice becomes low, and sad. “just going to be a huge difference, I’m worrying that I am not ready for this. I’m not sure what to expect. I’ve always had my friends, and everything, college is just a scary thought.” Finally letting the truth out.

“Nothing wrong with being a little scared honey, everyone gets nervous leaving the nest, it will all be okay.” Seeing my dad in a whole new light shining through right now. It’s a side of him I have never seen before, at least not for a long time anyways.

“I know. You sure you and mom can’t come live with us. Ashley and I can share a bedroom.” I let out a laugh, because I know that it’s not possible for it to happen. But it’s a good thought.

“I wish I could hon, but eventually all parents have to let their children grow up and move on with their own lives. It’s a process for us all. I just wish Michael was around to see it.” He sounds like a dad right there. And without any more words, the radio is turned up and the music goes on, making the sing along to the radio until the last person doesn’t know the word loses game we used to do all the time with the whole family, not as fun with two people but still amusing. I am going to miss being the kid.

Five-hour road trip to a small town in Connecticut, on the road where my new home lies which is just two blocks away from school. We got lucky to find an apartment so close to the campus. My dad was right about looking right out of high school for a place and paying for it throughout the summer, that was the best idea, makes it easier to move when you are not struggling to find a place while also preparing for college at the same time. We pull up to this brick building that is four stories tall back and front apartments that holds eight apartments total, four apartments in the front and four in the back. We are on the second floor in the back, thank god! We don’t have to lug all this up more than one flight. I look over just in time to see my best friend and her dad, Mr. Johnson pulling up in their GMC truck; Ashley’s car is on the tow behind. As soon as the truck is in park, Ashley jumps out; We run to one another and jump into a hug as if it has been weeks since we have seen one another. “Oh, my gosh this is really happening we are officially freshman in college, living in our very own apartment!” Ashley Shrieks in excitement, I can’t help but smile at my best friend, and agree. Let’s do this!

Our dad’s shake hands. “How are you doing Frank?” Mr. Johnson says to my dad.

“Not too bad considering our girls are growing up right before our eyes.” Dad replies to Mr. Johnson. The dad’s get into some small talk, like they always do. It makes me wonder why they never hung out more.

“Alright daddies let’s get this done. There is way too much to do.” I pause “Let’s do this!” Jumping up and down rubbing my hands together like I am pumping myself up for a race of some kind. Then diving right in grabbing a box to unload the truck. I head right upstairs; the stairs are on the right side of the hallway. At the top of the stairs, I turn to the left.

“Here we go.” Thinking to myself. Opening the door to the apartment marked with a big three on it. It’s so spacious in here. First walking in; there’s a counter on the right side which will be perfect for keys and more, the kitchen area sits behind this counter, with the living room straight ahead. The living room couch, loveseat, coffee table, TV and stand are already here and set up, my dad had them delivered and the landlord was nice enough to let them in and make it was set up for us. There is a small bathroom in the middle of the kitchen and living room, there are two bedrooms in this apartment, each bedroom is on either side of the living room I picked the bedroom to the back of the apartment on the right, and head in, the window to the far right has a bench seat right under it, which also has access to the fire escape. I stick my head out the window quick to check it out, I think some type of lamp and a bench out here would be perfect for me to read and enjoy the cool breeze of the night. Should be a perfect spot for me.

Going up and down the stairs is exhausting, I can feel my legs slowing down, there is so much to do. Getting exhausted in between trips. Periodically sticking my head under the kitchen faucet to slurp on some water, not much I can do until we find the cups that are currently packed in a box somewhere. I am so thankful for our dads, they did the heavy lifting and putting the beds together. It’s rounding the time of four o’clock, our dads have finished with the big stuff. They have done so much for us today and I’m sure they are ready to head back home. My mind must have been heard, it didn’t take long for my thoughts to become a reality. “Hey thanks for the hand Rick, it’s been nice seeing you again.” Frank says too my dad. The conversation begins the good byes.

“You too, maybe we can catch a game sometime.” My dad replies. Ashley and I give our dad’s hugs and say our good byes. They have a five-hour trip back to our home town. Ashley and myself get our butts moving on unpacking some boxes and moving things around the apartment to make it more of our home; More of our style, and the way we wanted it set up. This place is going to look awesome when we are done with it.